Then, what was this longing that came over him? That longing was not reminiscent of love that had not yet oxidized. It was an unexpected loneliness and regretfulness towards her, as well as nostalgia over who he used to be, back when he loved her so passionately.

Throughout our lives, there are things so glaring that we can’t avoid them.
And there are also those which aren’t visible to the eye, but are always with us.
Like the petals of this [skeleton] flower.

I just started to read this and I'm going to review it chapter-wise.

I don't speak or read Korean so I'm reading a fan-translated version (https://archiveofourown.org/works/14618484/chapters/33784149). Thank you sigani_jina.
---------------------------------------------
Jonghyun's last words were 'let me go'. So, I hope he's in a better place now.
Jonghyun, you did well. :)
--------------------------------------------
Chapter 1:

"Love is a clown changing its mask many times who had ample time to play with those two."

SHINee's Jonghyun was a phenomenal songwriter, and you can see that Jonghyun in places but it's not the same. There are some sentences where his writing really shines but the rest of it is unfortunately drab in comparison. Maybe it's the translation that is to be blamed. Nonetheless, this chapter is insightful, mature, and very real.



Chapter 2:

"Endlessly romantic while still infinitely selfish."

"Loneliness is not a feeling of sorrow for me. Rather, I would say I enjoy loneliness."

“Being alone, I don’t see it as something that simply disappears once you take care of it. It’s just like a shadow that follows you through life, see. Still, some days I feel the need for a pat on the shoulder, and since the things I told you before comfort me greatly, I am going through healthy loneliness.”

This second chapter is wonderful. It is beautiful, nuanced, and simply perfect. This is how [a:Kim Jonghyun|7134291|Kim Jonghyun|https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_50x66-632230dc9882b4352d753eedf9396530.png] lives on: His writing. He has an unparalleled 'it' factor that is glorious. If I could quote the entire chapter, I would.



Chapter 3:

“Don’t force yourself to cry.”

This was a weird chapter. Actually, the letter was weird. Instead of being deep, it came across as pseudo-deep. Maybe it's the writing. Or maybe it's the lack of a back story. Who knows, let's see how this goes.



Chapter 4:

“They left each other for their best, so now he could not just call her to ease his loneliness.”

This is a very short chapter and I love the maturity.



Chapter 5:

“The scene of a strange woman holding a little white umbrella under the rain, playing with his dog, laughing.”

More backstory. Yay! Infatuation at its best.



Chapter 6:

“Struggling in a chronic depression, the man eventually turned to escapism from reality.”

"The man had fallen for her at first sight, the first one to fall in love. Ever the impulsive decision-maker, the man was caught up in his emotions. Is there a mistake as deadly as putting one’s own feelings before the others? The woman rejected the young man’s confession, and he was stupidly wounded. However, the man’s heart was already in too deep to let the woman go like that."

This chapter shows contrasting emotions so well. That being said, the man is erring on the side of creepy rather than romantic.

"Could I really be deluded as she said? Am I getting too ahead of myself? Or could it be that I’m looking for any person to love because I’m bored?"

And the self-realization kicks in. Thank goodness.

"For the moment, his heart, out of answers, wondered whether this was love, and decided that the desire, longing, curiosity for her that spread through his body were clearly love."

Sigh. Conflicting emotions on point.



Chapter 7:

After I, feverish in love, infect you with my illness,
I pass it on and you will be warmer,
So that again you will pass it on, and I’ll be even hotter,
Come into my clothes and be infected with love’s fever.

I'm simply concerned. The pace seems a bit too fast. I'm surprised it lasted 5 years.



Chapter 8:

Greedy as it may be,
Eat together even if he jokes that she looks like a pig,
And hold his hand just because she can, even without wanting to,
And look into each other’s eyes even if it’s lifeless,
And listen to his charming words even if they sound like nagging,
Kiss him, even if it just feels like a habit...

I can't rave enough about Jonghyun. I read that all characters in this book were different versions of himself. Basically, a romance between a practical and a whimsical part of him. He communicates the complexity of human emotions perfectly. The longing for love, the pessimistic denial, the fear of dependency, the impossible selfishness, everything.



Chapter 9:

"Even the ring that was too troublesome to wear while we were together is now stuck on my finger."

It hurts to stay together and it hurts to stay apart. The sad truth about not being able to move on.



Chapter 10:

"It’s alright to only cheer up by tomorrow."

Take how much ever time you need and ask for help if you need it.



Chapter 11:

"...the man was overcome with relief that he did not see coming, and their relationship remained unchanged."

This man is a genius. The complexity of emotions. His first book and he writes so well. Sadly, it's his only book.



Chapter 12:

"The man and the woman thought of how they wanted to be happy, and realized that for that to happen, it was time to let each other go."

This was a perfect conclusion. Throughout the whole book, there is only one name: Dani. And it's a dog's name. And I thought that was very creative and smart. You can be Her, you can be Him, or you can be them Both. Similar places can mean different things. Different places can mean similar things.



Chapter 13: Author's Note.

"Even though this is just a loose piece of writing, I hope that this book in its ambiguous genre as novel, lyrics, or essay, can become your own story with him and her and me."

[a:Kim Jonghyun|7134291|Kim Jonghyun|https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_50x66-632230dc9882b4352d753eedf9396530.png], you did well.
---------------------------------------------
I'm not sure who needs to hear it but I'm going to say it anyway:
If you're looking for a reason to continue living, I'm sorry, you won't be able to find it. People don't live because of a reason, people live because there is nothing else to do. People live because the familiarity of living is reassuring and it outweighs the fear of the unknown. Death is inevitable but it is also a mystery. You are anyway going to die, you might as well experience living. Life is not a race to reach death as fast as you can.
-----------------------------------------------
I just realized that (other than patients) I personally know too many people of different ages and genders who suffer from depression and they have very different stories. This is what I learned about depression and suicide.
1. 'Why?' doesn't matter when it comes to depression.
2. You will never know the whole story behind a suicide.
3. People may be surrounded and loved by hundreds and still be depressed.
4. There may be no signs and no reason for suicide.
5. The only way to help is just 'do the best you can'.
-----------------------------------------------
This book reminded be two kdramas, so, if you have the time, check them out.
1. Romance is a Bonus Book.
2. It's Okay to Not be Okay.
--------------------------------------------
Support SHINee and Jonghyun.

<3

jesus. this is so lovely. the core theme of only being able to love once you release what you were trying to love… very ibsen. reminds me of his play “the lady from the sea,” which brings up similar ideas in a more familial context. it’s poignant in its simplicity, this love paradox, just like kim jonghyun’s story. its characters are nameless (with the exception of the dogs! beautiful choice), yet he makes the reader care and feel for them, perhaps because of how universal their emotions are.

kim jonghyun also plays with the metaliterary, making his own self visible in the figure of the radio singer first and foremost, a character who resonates with jonghyun’s artistic persona extremely intimately. there’s shades of him in the other characters as well, though, and all of them converge in a narrative that interweaves lyrics, prose and essay-like musings disguised as conversations. in fact –and i’m not saying this just because i’m reading her right now–, skeleton flower feels a little like what a sally rooney novelette could be. obviously, the connection is hardly intentionate, but there are strong echoes of her latest novel “beautiful world, where are you,” especially in the seamless way prose and nonfiction are interwoven.

this was a very pleasant experience that didn’t only come across as a prose narrative, but that incorporated music, radio broadcasting, essay and poetry into it in various ways. it’s a very unique piece, hard to describe and easy to enjoy. i wish it was longer—i think the themes and characters could have benefitted from a longer word count. still, i appreciate this little gem for what it is and invite you to give it a read, regardless of whether you’re familiar with its author or not.

Music is a story

Quiero decir tanto de este libro que sé que nunca me van a salir todas las palabras. Hermoso, eso sí. Ya quiero poder leerlo en coreano.