I really resonate with Rob Bell's writing style, and I enjoyed this book more than [b:How to Be Here: A Guide to Creating a Life Worth Living|22124291|How to Be Here A Guide to Creating a Life Worth Living|Rob Bell|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1445190734l/22124291._SX50_.jpg|41467149] because the way it was laid out made a lot of sense. The message is simple, and the layout is straightforward. Along with his wife, Kristen, Rob attempts to explain the energy field that exists between people who are committed to each other. They talk about the ways in which the flow is maintained, how positive and negative emotions are magnified, and how all people and relationships are dynamic entities

As I am heading into my 9th year of marriage, I can attest that the observations the Bells have made regarding marriage are very representative of my own relationship. The information he gives is not groundbreaking, but it does present information that I have learned from my own experiences in a helpful format, bringing self-awareness and a few new insights that can help foster a healthy marriage. Through time and experience, I have gleaned a lot of these techniques they provide the hard way, but I wish I had this book at the beginning of my marriage. I think it would have set my expectations and the level of effort I would have to put forth in a much more realistic way and provided me insights into how to navigate this challenging and unfamiliar lifelong decision.

This is the best book I've found so far on understanding marriage and setting your relationship up to be the most healthy and loving partnership it can be.

It's not that the info in this book is bad, it's just not all that revolutionary. The writing is fine, and those who are annoyed by Rob's typical poetic style will be grateful for the change of pace. I think that for the right audience, this book could well be life-changing. It's a short and easy read, and it felt a little like an afternoon marriage seminar. It was worth my time.

I love these two, I really do, but the protect their marriage very carefully. So much that you don’t really feel like you get to know them after having read this. Notably lacking or any real life stories from the deep trenches of marriage.

This was FABULOUS!
Many of my friends from my same generation aren't seeing the point of marriage anymore, and they make very good points on a lot of levels. However, Rob and Kristen also bring up some pretty important points that are hard to deny; that's saying something in the secular Israeli society I live in, where many are saying no to marriage as a statement.

There are some commenting here who seem to think the idea of ZimZum is silly. I'm Jewish, and I really appreciate that Rob Bell ties his books in with our traditions. Kabbalah is an astounding and ancient tradition that could be hard to grasp for those who haven't studied much about it and aren't very familiar with Judaism. This particular concept comes from Yitzhak Luria's doctrine. If you're a Christian, I recommend diving a little deeper instead of writing off Bell's reference as "silly". It's actually quite beautiful and has helped me look at my relationships in a new light!

But Rob...seriously. In your audiobook, you are NOT pronouncing צמצום correctly D:

I don't know that it would have been 5 stars if I hadn't read some of the vitriol in the other reviews. Yikes! Some people have made it their mission to hate Rob Bell. He isn't everyone's cup of tea, but he is the first modern writer that I've read who presents scripture exactly the same way that Fr. Ralph Talkin did---as the story of people waking up, the evolution of the relationship between the Jewish people and their understanding of God.

I bought a different Rob Bell book, and it still sits on my Currently Reading shelf. Meanwhile I checked this one out of the library and immediately read it. It is short, but I took my time. Like most things, it was a matter of the right book at the right time.

I was thinking how I wish I had read this as a newlywed. And then I pictured Brian and I at our "engaged encounter" that was mandated by the Catholic Church, and I can imagine all these ideas being said and me nodding like, "Yep, I got that." It is all obvious stuff, but huge and challenging in ways you don't see in the first years of a marriage---or at least I didn't.

The title, zimzum, is refers to making room for another person in your world, and the sacred space that exists between you, and how it is affected by all you say, do, think (or don't), and how other people and life affect that space, and how the energy created by that space can make one's life heaven or hell, hurt the world or make it whole again.

Brian just came home after three weeks on a wildfire assignment. Reunion is always a romantic time, but also a difficult time because it requires making space again, in our home, in my routines for Brian. One of the first things he often does when he returns from a long trip is rearrange everything in the fridge. This always make me cringe. Who is he to come in here and rearrange? What's wrong with how I had it? Who does most of the cooking anyway? But this time, as he once again reorganized our shelves to maximize for space rather than visuals, I could it wasn't just another ISTJ vs E/INFP moment. It was his need to claim space, to not be a guest in his own home, and my opportunity to zimzum.

We often use similar language when talking about marriage---adventure, connection---so I'm sure that helped as well. We're good partners and I often don't relate to books on relationships, or come away patting us on the back and thinking, thank goodness we're nothing like that. Here was one where, in each aspect (the book has 5 characteristics it focuses on: reactive, dynamic, exclusive and sacred), I could see strengths and weaknesses, choices I had made that I knew hurt the space between us but that I hadn't understood how or why. Insight like that is priceless, so I feel in great debt to Rob and Kristen Bell.

It's not a bad book; it's just also not really what it advertises to be either. Nothing in here is really new or profound and not necessarily exclusively about married couples. The behavior patterns and mindsets they talk about are basically respecting another person for who they are and creating space for them to be themselves with you. I'd say that's true of any kind of healthy relationship. I like a lot of what Rob Bell has to say but sometimes it concerns me with how he seems to need to take the "but this is new and sexy" angle vs this isn't new but it's something we need to be reminded of and this is what helps me; also his penchant for unnecessarily vague and flowery language...