ditten's reviews
605 reviews

Despised And Rejected by A.T. Fitzroy

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emotional inspiring reflective sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

Originally published in early 1918, Despised and Rejected is staunchly pacifist and very queer. Given the time of its release, its little wonder the book was banned and heavily fined a few months after publication. Not for being queer though, but instead for endangering recruiting efforts for the war.

I don't think I'll ever get over reading queer books from over 100 years ago. There's something about not just knowing queer people have always existed, but seeing writers defy the law of the time in order to write books with queer themes that feels so powerful, inspiring, and heart-achingly fierce.

Despised and Rejected argues that being queer is inherent, natural, and beautiful, and that being different doesn't have to be something bad. It seems even reviewers at the time were taken aback by the "bold" claim of homosexuality as natural and not a choice, and it's definitely not something I've seen so explicitly stated in the other queer books I've read from the time.

 "We want more light, more breathing-space, more tolerance and understanding: not this narrow-minded wholesale condemnation and covering-up; this instinctive shuddering and turning away from a side of nature that, like every other side, has its right to a hearing, its right to open discussion."

Both Dennis and Antoinette, the MCs of the book, are queer, and while society is pushing them to marry, they instead become friends. It's a complicated friendship though, especially for the Antoinette who, while lesbian, has found she's developed feelings for a man for the first time when she falls in love with Dennis. Dennis can't and doesn't reciprocate her feelings, and he's instead fallen in love with a man who's among the circle of pacifists him and Antoinette meet up with once the war's broken out to discuss anti-war sentiments, ethics, and how to avoid being called up to serve when conscription is imposed.

The tone of the book goes from a happy vacation tale in summer 1914, to much deeper and sadder themes once the war starts. It's not a happy book but it is an incredibly powerful and impactful one that gives us a unique insight into queer life in 1914-1915 England, as well as an overly patriotic and war-hungry British society. It's a time where being a pacifist was not looked kindly upon, and the punishment for conscientious objectors was harsh both in terms of prison and a stripping of rights, as well as from the pacifist's fellow citizens. 

Being a hardcore pacifist AND gay? Almost untenable in terms of living a decent life during this time. The fact that Rose Allatini wrote this book at the time she did is incredible, and I'm very glad to have read it.

"The senselessness of all his repression and self-denial stood revealed to him. Seeing at last with Alan's eyes, and in the light of his own experience, he recognised that herein had lain the real perversion: in the continuous struggle between brain and body, the continuous struggle to suppress his instincts and force them into ways not natural to them. It had not lain in his passion for Alan. That, and that alone, given the peculiarities of his nature, had been right, had been beautiful, because it was truthful."
Death in the Spires by KJ Charles

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dark emotional mysterious tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Loved this book! Fantastic murder mystery with a minor queer romance subplot. 

Less romance than usually in KJC books which initially made me wonder if I'd like it as much as I do her other books, but I shouldn't have worried. Absolutely loved it!
The Remarkable Lover by Maya Jean

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emotional funny inspiring lighthearted sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

"You’re perfect for me. You really are.”
“Don’t be disgusting.”
 
I was lucky enough to get to read an ARC of The Remarkable Lover (out Jan 1) and you guys, THIS BOOK!? It's so freaking good!! 😍
 
The banter is top notch, the characters are amazing, the chemistry is fire, and the epilepsy and service dog rep is on point *chef's kiss* 
 
It was such a fun, heartfelt, romantic book that put me through a rollercoaster of emotions from snort-laughing, to giddily screeching into my pillow while kicking my feet, to having my heart ache ❤️
 
I'm an absolute sucker for black cat/golden retriever, and one-sided annoyances to lovers, and Harper and Jackson were an absolute delight! 
 
Harper is sarcastic, prickly, and closed off, and convinced a romantic relationship isn't in his future because no one could possibly love him due to his insecurities about his epilepsy and past trauma. Enter Jackson, the gorgeous, confident outsider who's immediately smitten with Harper and who makes it his mission in life to not only date him, but out-stubborn Harper until he believes he's worthy of love in general and has Jackson's love and adoration in particular.
 
"Harper, you’ve no idea. I’m going to keep you forever. Don’t you know?"
 
There's also excellent found family in The Remarkable Lover as this is the 3rd book in Maya's Sweet Southern series about a group of escorts who find love in a small southern town. I think you can read this on its own but I'd recommend reading the previous two books (the first is only a novella) to fully appreciate the wonderful group of people you meet in this series.
 
Read this book if you like:
🖤Black cat/golden retriever
🧡Hurt/comfort
🖤One-sided annoyance to lovers
🧡Grumpy/sunshine
🖤Experienced/Inexperienced
🧡Epilepsy and service dog rep
 
The Remarkable Lover by Maya Jean // ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
 
Thanks to the author for the ARC. The Remarkable Lover is out January 1, 2025
Forest of Noise: Poems by Mosab Abu Toha

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emotional sad

5.0

Heartbreaking, impactful, and poignant, Toha's short book of poetry made me sob and my heart ache.

"Sir, we are not welcome anywhere.
Only cemeteries don’t mind our bodies.

We no longer look for Palestine.
Our time is spent dying.
Soon, Palestine will search for us,
for our whispers, for our footsteps,
our fading pictures fallen off blown-up walls."
- We Are Looking For Palestine 

"This is not a poem.
This is a grave, not
beneath the soil of Homeland,
but above a flat, light white
rag of paper."
- This Is Not a Poem

"Now it’s 2024, and the cemetery you were buried in was razed by Israeli bulldozers and tanks. How can I find you now?

Will my bones find yours after I die?"
- A Blank Postcard
The Message by Ta-Nehisi Coates

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reflective medium-paced

4.5

The Message is a beautifully written book of three essays that all have different subjects but these are very much linked.

Coates talks about race, racial (in)equality, oppression, colonialism, perspective, and narrative in his book where the last half centers on Palestine which was, in my opinion, the strongest part of the book. 

His discovery of the differences between the generally accepted narrative on Israel and Palestine, and the reality of the oppression and struggle the Palestinean people face that he gets to witness on his trip, as well as his reflections on the current day and history of the region was both interesting and devastating. 

Very well written, and I'd be interested in reading more of his previous work, as well as finding out if he's written anything on the ongoing Palestinean genocide.

"The pain is in the discovery of your own illegitimacy—that whiteness is power and nothing else. I could hear that same pain in Avner’s and Guy’s words. They were raised under the story that the Jewish people were the ultimate victims of history. But they had been confronted with an incredible truth—that there was no ultimate victim, that victims and victimizers were ever flowing."
Taming Tyler by E.L. Ough, A.E. Jensen

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Did not finish book. Stopped at 0%.
Dnf on page 1

Oh hey, my fastest ever dnf lol. 

This is just a preference thing but I don't like when characters break the 4th wall and start speaking to the reader. And I especially don't like it when it's done so the character can really dumb it down and spell everything out (ie "I put this in italics so you can understand how much I really mean it")

I can't do a whole book of this, so I'm moving on
Recognizing the Stranger: On Palestine and Narrative by Isabella Hammad

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emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective fast-paced

5.0

Isabella Hammad's lecture on narrative, recognition, and turning points pertaining to Palestine and its people's strife is incredibly powerful, harrowing, and beautiful.

"The flow of history always exceeds the narrative frames we impose on it."

Hammad gave the speech at the Edward W. Said Memorial Lecture at Columbia University on September 28, just nine days before October 7 and the beginning of the Palestinean genocide. 
The book contains her speech, as well as an afterword she wrote about Gaza and the ongoing genocide in January 2024.

As a fan of Said's writing and ideas, I put on this short audiobook hoping for an interesting speech, and Hammad blew my expectations out of the water.

The speech is beautifully written, the content relevant, interesting, enlightening, and poignant, and I found myself tearing up several times.

Hammad gets into narrative, anagnorisis, epiphanies, recognition, humanism, and colonialism, and delivers it eloquently and like a punch to the gut. A must-read!

Important quotes:

"The present onslaught leaves no space for mourning, since mourning requires an afterward, but only for repeated shock and the ebb and flow of grief. We who are not there, witnessing from afar, in what ways are we mutilating ourselves when we dissociate to cope? To remain human at this juncture is to remain in agony. Let us remain there: it is the more honest place from which to speak"

"It will be easy to say, in hindsight, what a terrible thing. That was a terrible moment, when the movements of the world were out of my hands. 
Do not give in. Be like the Palestinians in Gaza. Look them in the face. Say: that’s me! Mahmoud Darwish tells us: “Gaza does not propel people to cool contemplation; rather she propels them to erupt and collide with the truth.”"

"It’s one thing to see shifts on an individual level, but quite another to see them on an institutional or governmental one. To induce a person’s change of heart is different from challenging the tremendous force of collective denial."

"Somewhere recently humanity seems to have crossed an invisible line, and on this side naked power combined with the will to profit threaten to overwhelm the collective interests of our species."
Jack Rabbit by Em Jae Black

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Did not finish book. Stopped at 18%.
Dnf @ 18%

"Abruptly, he pushes them in deeper, fingertips all the way at the back of my throat. Oh God, no. I can’t stop it. Even as he yanks them from my mouth, I retch."

Nope, I'm out. Throwing up during sex isn't it. This is too violent for me.
Hole in the Wall by Archie Finch

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lighthearted fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character

4.0

Sometimes self-care is reading a short story about two besties realizing they're gay by sucking a stranger's dick together at a glory hole. 
The Councillor by E.J. Beaton

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adventurous mysterious medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

A great fantasy full of politics and magic.

Lysande is very horny, bisexual, and scheming, and I love that in an MC.

I really need another book and more of Luca Fontaine, the Laurent coded maybe love interest who wants Lysande to choke him.