afi_whatafireads's reviews
589 reviews

God of Pain by Rina Kent

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dark tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

Not in my Bingo Card this year that Rina Kent will eventually made me cry ....
But lowkey, I cried whilst reading this book :') The way that it was hella intense and just made me so frustrated because honestly, I don't think I can blame anyone for their situation.

At first, the first half was a tad draggy to me, probably because the way Creigh is with Annika (at night) is my least fav out of all there is in the world to read, but I liked the buildup from each characters, including the ones around them. And when we finally find the truths behind Creigh's past, I think this is why, besides the romance (which I think is giving despite I sometimes cringe at some of the sentences written hahahah) I liked the psychological aspects of the story and how each and every one of them struggle with something so dark they ended up the way they are.

And the most part? I liked the relationship between all the characters combined. Not to say its the best, but I keep coming back for more because I want to know what happens to the rest of them in their books. And I just CANT WAIT to get to Lan's and Nikolai's book cause I think I will be whipped (i already am based on the tidbits we get).

So, yes as much as this can be a standalone, do read them in order as there will be multiple incidents that will affect and relate to the characters arc at the given time. Next is Jeremy's and Cecilia's and they're both... something haha. We'll see how it goes.

3.5🌟 cause this made me cry lol
Territory of Light by YĹ«ko Tsushima

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dark emotional fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

God of Malice by Rina Kent

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dark fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.5

I mean, can't say I'm not hooked with the rest of the team haha.

I think what I liked most about this book was how unapologetically dark it is? Like I wanted dark romance? I got what I came for :)

The reason why I'm even starting this was to read Bran's book but I can't wait to read Lan's book after this hehe.

Kill and Glyn was something else. Won't be for everyone but it was an okay read and definitely needed to understand the rest of the series.
Shame by Annie Ernaux by Annie Ernaux

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dark emotional fast-paced

4.5

When a book started with the opening line :

"My father tried to kill my mother one Sunday in June, in the early afternoon."


You're bound to feel... things. And I felt a lot with this book, to a point that made me stared at the ceiling for a good 10 minutes, dawned to me how eerily real and close I can understand to what the narrator is feeling. That's what made me realize, Ernaux is one goddamn of an author. My 3rd work from her, and she never cease to amaze me with how she can capture the readers with her words and the stories that she puts out.


"“The worst thing about shame is that we imagine we are the only ones to experience it.”


The shame that the narrator encountered, following through her capturing moments in her childhood and how in withstanding and trying to conform to society's standards at the time, the feelings of shame - of not having the same 'standards' or even seen as something 'different'. Shame in knowing the fact that the feelings comes from a dark place within, and tangled by the complexity of the human mind, it became a cobweb of emotions that will shape a person to become somebody else entirely. Who do we blame from where the feelings of shame stems from? Do we blame society for making known the word and the feeling? or do we blame ourselves as we fail to deflect what people perceive of us?

These are the questions that ran through my head when reading this book. And the fact its an autofiction makes it more raw. Its raw to a point that I felt myself stripped from the mask that I've hid behind in the face of society - and what Ernaux had done in the span of less than 200 pages was to me, incredible. There's a feeling of resentment but also in the way that as readers, we can feel what the narrator felt to our very bones. And that feeling is not something that is easy to translate outside of paper.


“This can be said about shame: those who experience it feel that anything can happen to them, that the shame will never cease and that it will only be followed by more shame.”


This book means something to me. I feel that it really highlighted some of the complex that I felt growing up - the same as the narrator did. Since the book is written in excerpts from the narrator's memory, this book felt more personal to a point. Its a daunting feeling.

Would recommend but do come in expecting nothing.

Personal Ratings: 4.5🌟
Piercing by Ryū Murakami

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dark emotional fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

Gave me the exact numbing feeling after I finished Earthlings by Sayaka Murata , but taking it from another angle and perspective. Its dark, heinous , and effed up my brain to the point of shambles, but good lord was it good.

The thing about books like these? Its not for everyone. But good lord I ate this up. The things people don’t warn you that can come up at night? This is exactly what the book lets you feel. It portrays the after effects of how much trauma and abuse can affect someone’s lives forever. Its of the meet of two people who had to survive through the darkness of their minds, the rage and anger through various means, even if its not one that is considered normal.

Do I approve of the methods of the characters in here? Absolute-effin-no. But do I understand them? I do. The disassociation, the spiraling, the constant reminder of the past that clouds your future. And for a book that is gore and bloody, its also very very sad. Often than not, children of abuse may be able to live a better life but the depths and complexity of a human’s mind is a different story entirely. When you are willing to forget, the past will always tie you down. Hence, even almost as grotesque as it is, you will definitely understand.


”Children are powerless.”


You will definitely have to be responsible with the choices you made as an adult - but the inability to grow up normally due to your trauma as a child? Its no one fault’s but the adults at the time who created and stemmed the darkness within.

Who do we blame at the end? I guess we’ll never know.

Personal Ratings: 4.5🌟
Penance by Kanae Minato

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dark emotional fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

Your Utopia: Stories by Bora Chung

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dark emotional fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

There's so many things going through my mind now, but what I can say that this book is outstanding. A reflection to the world that we live in - told in a way that is not only laced with dark humour but slapping you with realities of the world that we live in, and maybe, the future that we can forsee happening.

I need to sleep off for a bit before writing my full thoughts , or I will end up spiraling again.
But best to say, its so early in this year and I think I may found a top read already.

RTC.

Finally writing out my full thoughts here : Edited on 31/1/2024

Before I go in this review, suffice to say that these would be pretty much a very spoilery review - the spoiler part has tags so you have been warned - as I was going back and forth wether or not I should elaborate on each stories individually, and since this book had really reigned me in, I feel it would do injustice if I don't pan out my thoughts out on it, so please you have been warned.

Such intelligence written with brilliance

That's whats best described these short collection of short stories for me. And if you're going in right after finishing Cursed Bunny (which I adored), then go in with a different mindset as these collection are in a completely different league and in the best way as well. There is a quiet sense of horror that is still attached with Bora Chung's stories, but in ways that are more subtle and how eerily close to the world that we live in are now. Its a depiction of an intelligence that somehow exceeded human's capabilities and thrown in the mix is a stand of solidarity for what both the author and translators stands for, and mostly, its about being human - in every form possible. Even if its translated into a form of intelligence.


Some machines are happier than humans


And in what form in life that we seek to create a tangent of hope? Revisiting my notes that I scribbled in this book whilst reading this had revisited a whole array of emotions. Whilst Cursed Bunny had given the goth-horror-tales that stems from misogyny and capitalism, Your Utopia brings around the same themes but with more emotions and depth and possibly, with much anger that radiates from the connotations, depth and voice that each story holds. Its in the way of subtle criticism towards capitalism and in people of power by portraying the after-effects from the abuse towards the people that had been struggling to live. Its in the stories that might stake as dystopian and horror but is also portraying the effects of capitalism on the environment. And its in the way how emotions are not just entirely conformed to humans but it can extend to the machinery and intelligence that has been created. Its in the way how the word artificial intelligence itself exceeded its functions and becoming a form that is their own.

Its not often that I give a collection of short stories 4 stars and above for each and every one of them, but good lord, did these 8 short stories caught my heart in ways that I didn't know it could. Not only was I enamoured by each stories, Bora Chung's deep sense of dark humour had made this such an enjoyable read. There were a lot of moments that had loads of "wtfs" and "huhhh" and "good lord" in my notes to the point that it had made me chuckling at some. But in the mix of all that dark humour, there was also a deep sense of dread after some reflection from each stories.

And please, good lord Bora Chung can freaking write a sci-fi full novella and I will eat it up. One of the easiest 5 stars that I can give in the story was from The End of The Voyage where it depicts about a journey of a group of people that was sent to outer space to find a replacement for Earth as it has been infected by a form of virus that is non-traceable. Sounds familiar? That's whats eerie about this book. Its reflecting during the time of the lockdown and pandemic but taken with a twist that really made me went on a voyage of my own. I had to stop and breathe because it felt like I went on a full ride with that story alone and it gave me such a serotonin boost to read something THAT GOOD and satisfied both my fantasy and literary read cravings.

Whilst some stories like The Center for Immortality Research and A Very Ordinary Marriage had all the fun and games (read: horror-goth in its true and playful form), the centre theme that revolves around this book is the portrayal of intelligence that exceeds human expectations.


"When the world I was designed for has changed so much, in what ways must I myself change?"


The conformity of life and death. Expired through a disease? or being said to be malfunctioning?
The existential crisis that had me questioning the difference between human and machines. As we train machines and artificial intelligence to be trained to do human functions they also inhibit the emotions instilled too , in which surpasses what a machine was designated and supposed to do. And in which point did the limits of human and machines comes through? This was what I felt one of the main questions that is portrayed from Your Utopia - where loneliness is a disease, a malfunction that can affect anyone; even by the machines that were created by said humans; whilst A Song For Sleep had left me feeling void and got me thinking into the the kind of "malfunction" that is no different from humans and machines. Its very much unheard for an elevator to be able to sympathize and feel empathy for a human and being able to act on it.

The thin line between human intelligence and artificial intelligence? Where does it lie? Between the lines of black and white? Or is dulled due to it being it in the gray area?

And don't get me started on how misogyny towards women and of sexual discrimination has been portrayed in Maria, Gratia Plena and To Meet Her. These two stories shows the act of resistance from the author herself, in which both stories had got me sobbing as they are a tribute for real women that had been affected in real life. These stories of abuse and the cause of trauma by tyrants that is called society, had led to innocent lives being taken with brutal force. And in these stories lies a deep sense of solidarity with the author (in which she is an active activist herself).


"If God is a man, he could never understand the mundane threats women experience every single day of our lives.


The most unique story of all and one that had caught my heart unexpectedly was Seed and this story had not only rendered me speechless, its a form of beauty in the horrors as well; in which is a sign of resistance towards brutal capitalism and environmentalism. Its a sad and almost horrifying potrayal in which shows how the need for survival will lead to extremism.

At the end of the day, in celebrating loss and hope, Your Utopia had to be one of those reads that I will definitely revisit time and time again. Its a timeless piece that speaks of issues that stemmed from the human greed that can lead to a artificial intelligence maybe someday exceeding the lines of its existence. Its sci-fi and speculative fiction in its core but its also a parallel to the events of reality in which might happen if we choose to ignore and close our eyes to what's happening in the world now. Its of a small act of resistance told and written with such grace. And I for one had enjoyed every single page of this ride.

This author and translator duo - Bora Chung and Anton Hur continues to exceed my expectations. And I for one am happy to go in a ride with both of them for any books that they will put out in the future.

Highly recommended. It was definitely a thrilling ride.

Thank you so much to Honford Star for this copy, and Anton himself for the US gift copy. Might be one of the best gifts I can get this year.




Men Without Women by Haruki Murakami

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dark emotional mysterious fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? N/A
  • Loveable characters? N/A
  • Diverse cast of characters? N/A
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A

3.5

This collection is one that had me gasped at some and some were just okay, but overall it was not a bad read.

I particularly enjoyed two stories and another one had impacted me quite a bit (as I was listening to the audiobook and good lord I was scared af because I didn't expect to get a paranormal thing going on).

Will talk more about this one later. RTC.
Thieves' Gambit by Kayvion Lewis

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adventurous fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

Imagine being invited to a secret exclusive society - but make it a thieving underground competition? Yes, welcome to The Thieves Gambit - where the promise of dreams and wishes will be fulfilled once you win the game :)

The Quest family - infamous for their role and standing amongst the heist and thieves society - Ross Quest, is trying to get out from the role that was given to her since she was a child. Living thru a life filled with lies and deceipt, she had trusted no one, until one day an invitation to The Thieves Gambit, an annual exclusive underground competition had led her to join after an incident regarding her mother. A story that is filled with action, friendship, love and most importantly - Can You Trust Anyone Here?

Personally for me, this was just an okay read. It didn't really wow me so much, but the writing was not bad. It honestly felt like the book was written for a movie snag, and I found out it was signed by Lionsgate to make as a movie , which explained the plot and how the story carries itself. It was not bad per say, but it was almost.. predictable? Like I expected most of the things that had happened so there's that. But overall, it was still a good palate cleanser for me in between heavy reads.

I feel like what made me continued this book was the conspiracy theory and how politically inclined it was? I liked that there is a sort of mystery that revolves around the politicians and the "society" that holds the annual Thieves Gambit. Its both exciting and I was more interested to find out about that throughout reading through the book. And I liked that the diversity in this book was something that is refreshing to read. We have people from various backgrounds and countries which makes the heist more interesting to read.

If this was made into a movie, I feel that it would be a good one. As for the book itself, if you are a beginner or you will need a quick pick up read, this book will be for you. As for me, it was just an okay read but I expected much more in a sense.

Personal Ratings: 3.5🌟

Thank you so much to Times Reads for this copy. I truly appreciate it.
DallerGut Dream Department Store by Miye Lee

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emotional funny reflective fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Fantastical, whimsical and heartwarming.
I’m definitely biased because - even if the story has very simple mechanics, I love the message that comes from each chapter, from each dream maker and from the dreamers themselves.

As someone who has a complicated relationship with sleep and my dreams, this book comforted me in so many ways that I didn’t know would be possible. I’m thankful this book exists. It might not be for everyone, but its certainly a book that healed me at a time where my insomnia has peaked and I have nightmares even when I sleep.

Longer review TBC. But definitely a 5🌟 from me.

Edited in Jan 2024 ; like finally

You know how some books you won't know how to put into words how they mean so much to you? That was how much this book meant to me. It somehow left such a huge impression after I finished it due to how much it had made me feel so very seen. It came to a point that I was hugging the book at some instances.

I love how some stories can be so simple and straightforward and yet, it holds so much meaning. Dallergut Department Store tells the story of a department store that sells dreams. Its somewhat in a fantasy land - that is of dreams - and we follow the journey from the POV of Penny, a new worker for the department store. There, she had been exposed to the mechanics of dreams and how dreams can affect someone's lives. From dreams of crushes to dreams of meeting back your loved ones, this is one of those books that you will remember for a very long time.

I think why this book meant so much to me was due to the complicated relationship I had with my sleep and dreams. As someone who suffers from Insomnia, this book had made me feel so seen. Its in the way how the author wrote this book with a subtle nuance that is comforting and gives meaning to every dream that you have, even with the nightmares. Lowkey, I didn't expect to cry at some chapters but I shed a few tears and I had loved how this book did not focus on the people but instead, focused on the dream makers and why they choose to create the dreams that they did. It goes to show that nothing in this world was made to incovenience someone and that - even your nightmares - serves to teach you a lesson or warnings of sorts. And in some ways, it did made me reflect a lot on my sleeping habits and patterns and why the recurring dreams kept happening - and the thing with dreams is that, its a form of subconcious that somehow manifested into a series of view-like-movies during your sleep. Its sometime a projection of your exhaustion, or your deepest desires ; but such are the workings of dreams. It can be magical sometimes and there's somewhat a beauty in the unknown.

And, eventhough I didn't know how to read Korean that much, I can tell how much effort the translator had put to keep the text as closely to the original one. Its told by the subtle and minor details (if you're a fan of kdramas u somehow will catch on) and that's one thing I loved about this book too - is that, both translator and authors wrote it with so much heart and love , you can feel it while reading it.

Even if its the first volume, we get a solid conclusion for the first one and I definitely can't wait to read the second volume! I will lowkey shove to every single person I meet with this book . Highly highly recommend, especially if you need something to help you come back to life again.

Biggest thank you to Pansing Distributions for this wonderful copy.