Gave me the exact numbing feeling after I finished Earthlings by Sayaka Murata , but taking it from another angle and perspective. Its dark, heinous , and effed up my brain to the point of shambles, but good lord was it good.

The thing about books like these? Its not for everyone. But good lord I ate this up. The things people don’t warn you that can come up at night? This is exactly what the book lets you feel. It portrays the after effects of how much trauma and abuse can affect someone’s lives forever. Its of the meet of two people who had to survive through the darkness of their minds, the rage and anger through various means, even if its not one that is considered normal.

Do I approve of the methods of the characters in here? Absolute-effin-no. But do I understand them? I do. The disassociation, the spiraling, the constant reminder of the past that clouds your future. And for a book that is gore and bloody, its also very very sad. Often than not, children of abuse may be able to live a better life but the depths and complexity of a human’s mind is a different story entirely. When you are willing to forget, the past will always tie you down. Hence, even almost as grotesque as it is, you will definitely understand.

You will definitely have to be responsible with the choices you made as an adult - but the inability to grow up normally due to your trauma as a child? Its no one fault’s but the adults at the time who created and stemmed the darkness within.

Who do we blame at the end? I guess we’ll never know.

Personal Ratings: 4.5🌟