afi_whatafireads's reviews
589 reviews

This had left me disoriented and left me questioning a lot of things.
An experimental work that definitely deserved an applause. Its something different and it reflects closely to some traumas that will never heal, intergenerational traumas, the power of art and theatre and the strengths of youths.

Full RTC! Need to sort out my thoughts for a bit.

Edited on 21/6/2023

This is one of those books that will get you questioning every single thing you have read when you get to the last parts of the book. The questions of what is wrong and what is right and you're left there going..... huh........ that happened? And you're back to square one, trying to reconvince yourself of the things you've learnt throughout reading the book.

Translated from Korean by Yewon Jung, Spectres of Algeria is a story that revolves around a group of youths and people that later on will affect how their future generation carries themselves. Its a story that revolves deeply within the theatre scene, and showed how art can affect the political movements and the youths energy at the time in changing their lives and making their voices heard. Its a story told in 4 parts that is like the Acts in theatre, where each part showed a different story, told from different people, and everything will tie together at the end.

Honestly, I will just really highly suggest going into this book blind. The blurb... well.. really doesn't help and I don't want to give away too much in my thoughts. The best way to read this book is just to go straight ahead and enjoy the ride. Everything will literally not make any sense at first, but I assure you, keep on reading (and honestly, its impossible to put down the book), as the Writing style and proses made you want to know what even is going on.

Is it a story of a the Karl Marx and his theories and his followers?
Is it a story of a play that may or may not exist?
Is it a story of characters that may or may not live?

This book will leave you questioning everything, from political schemes to the patriarchy to even philosophical acts. Its an experimental work that somewhat seemed like a dream. Reading it made me knew the characters but also left me questioning everything that I know as well. I liked how the author somehow knew to make us, the readers, be seeking for answers and make us work for it. Its a story that looks very normal on the surface, but when you dig deeper, its a the mechanicals that is parallel to the real world in how stories plays a role in shaping a generation.

The book is a literal form of art, in where the author had shown how plays, stories and the people play every part in making it a working story that is whole. Definitely not something that I will pick up everyday, but it was something that I will actually remember for a very long time. I do highly recommend this book!

Personal Ratings : 4🌟

Biggest thank you to the publisher for the copy! I appreciate it a lot <3

This book has my whole heart.

Was it perfect per say? No. Not really.
Was it something that we expect from Ali Hazelwood? Oh definitely yes.
Did this book made me cry? Bloody hell yes.

I don't know why, but there is something addicting with Ali's works that just FITS ME .
She basically :-
✅ Writes the MEN of my dreams. Literally. Adam was something but good Lord Jack I want to cry can I conjure him up for real cause my gosh 😩
✅ Writes HARSH TRUTHS in Academia and Women in STEM. Good gawd she's doing God's work by spilling all the tea in academia and I love it .
✅ Writes the softest and most intimate spicy scenes that its so intimate I teared up.
✅ Writes such wonderfully closed-feelings characters that fits someone good and their voices seen.

This book had me wired-up in multiple items that made me just queasy. I love Jack to the very core and Elsie is me reincarnate 😩 I relate to her on some levels that I can't even comprehend and its liberating to read her being able to voice out her feelings. I love her and Jack together, and unlike Adam from Love Hypothesis, Jack is so straigtforward . He's literally the man of my dreams :')

Storywise, there were things that I felt a bit misisng. If that spot was filled in, this book will win a solid 5 stars. So far, this is a 4 stars overall but imma put a 4.5 just because of Jack. He's bloody perfect. PLEASE ALI I SINCERELY WANT CHAPTERS FROM JACK'S POV CAUSE LETS FACE IT MAN'S PINING FOR THE WOMAN FOR SO LONG AND SO UPFRONT ABOUT IT IMMA CRY AGAIN.

I took my sweet time with this book and I didn't regret it at all. It gave me so much serotonin that I was just smiling after I finished it.

The way I was fueled with RAGE AND ANGER reading this.

Defund the bloody police already. The ones who are corrupted deserves to d*e .

RTC.

Edited Review: 12/6/2023

I never thought I've known PURE RAGE , until I've come across this book.
I was angry at a lot of things in a book, but the fact that this is BASED OFF A TRUE STORY hits something deep inside me that doesn't sit well in my brain.

Best believe I finished this book in one seating fuelled with rage and anger. I was fuming. I was heartbroken. The fact that the ache is still here even if I've finished this novel two days ago, and every time I hear the word nightcrawling, I will remember this book and how it made me feel. It made me helpless, it made me angry and it made me exasperated. The things that you would do and go in the means of survival and I'm just angry, that even now, things hadn't much changed as it had a few years back during the real incident that actually occurred.

I feel that for a book that is Longlisted for The Booker Prize, technicality and writing wise could have been better. But, the fact that this is a debut novel, and the author had wrote this when she was 17, gave it a much more raw impact to the issues at hand. It makes it more close to heart, the fact that Mottley wrote this at the same age of Kiara - our main protagonist - and it reflects what a child at the time should feel. The helplessness, the fact that Kiara has to do things that she hated just to survive the cruel world and in order to protect the people that she loved. That's what the book special to me. Its the fact that the author wrote at an age where the emotions reflected Kiara in ways that adults can never understand. The feelings of being a child that has to grow up too soon, in a world that only treats you like an accessory and not a jewel.

Nightcrawling talks about various topics including the systemic corruption, patriarchy, misogyny and the violence on women, and mostly, of the corruption of the justice system that finds ways to use the law against an innocent. A child.

I won't say which case its related to (as it will be mentioned in the book, and I feel that you should Google it whilst reading it and not before), but the fact that those pages had left me with so much grief. Mottley's writing and proses are beautiful. It reflected a kind of hope of things to change but at the same time made the world seem muted in Kiara's mind, eventho the real world is a far cry from that serene moments. Its of showing a family that is broken by the law and injustice, of a movement that is good for the community but can be broken due to the oppression of the system overall.

This book is something. Whilst its not perfect, and it could have been better (because it is longlisted for the booker), I kind of get why its booker-worthy too. There's something about books with the POV of children and teens that speaks volumes to the world. It will never be perfect, and its filled with emotions and heartache, but thats what makes each and every issue in here more prominent. Its something that still haunts our world today and that what makes the story hits. To the very core.

Personal Ratings: 4🌟

Biggest thank you to @definitelybooks for this copy!

TJR has a way with her characters, that makes each story felt so raw and real, it will make and break you at the same time. The fact that this is the least fav out of all the books I've read from her, this book STILL managed to leave a huge impression on me that made it so hard to breathe at times, and I lowkey cried at the end.

What if you found your true love but was only granted to be with him only with a short amount of time? Elsie who found her soulmate 6 months ago, and was only married for 9 nine days, when the inevitable happened. Her husband died. And yes its not a spoiler. Coping with grief, with a mother-in-law she has never met, Elsie is on a journey of self-discovery, in finding her true purpose in life, of founding love and mostly, of finding the rainbows that came after a dark storm.

Honestly, I have nothing much to say about this book, rather than just going into it as blindly as I was. TJR is a great story teller. She knows how to write stories that brings out even the worst emotions. The characters in this book were flawed, but they were very human. I loved that each and every one of them had gone thru a self-discovery of their own, and that grief is a horrendous emotion. This book showed how human someone can be and how grieving is different for everyone. The best way for someone with grief is to have a support system that will accept the worst side that a human can unleash whilst they're in pain; and that was what TJR had wrote in this book.

TJR showed to us readers that love can come in a short time, and that it doesn't invalidate someone's feelings if they've only loved at a short amount of time. Its not the amount of time that you've known someone that matters, its the fact that you know deep down, the love that you had for each other is something that is real and Reid had let us readers felt those emotions. Of a love that is like a supernova and even if it diminishes, the reminiscent of everything is still there.

Heartbreaking and one that made me tear up at the end, is a story of women coming together after grief and finding something precious after a dark tunnel. Its raw and rough but its also real and that makes what TJR's writing as evergreen as it is.

Personal Ratings : 3.75🌟

Thank you to @definitelybooks for this copy!

RTC.

A tale that is like no other. Dazai's existential crisis is evident in here and it made me really teary.

Review Edited on 7/6/2023

There's something about Dazai's works that catches you in instances that will catch you by surprise. In this semi-autobiography work that Dazai had somewhat inserted his narrations whilst writing the story of Yozo, it showed his mental state at the time and it showed how much writing and art meant to him in ways that he couldn't even understand himself.

Its quite ironic how something so beautiful can turn out bad and in some sense, it was quite understandable in his circumstances. Flower of Buffoonery was a bit different than No Longer Human, and surprisingly, the fact that this book is written, YEARS before No Longer Human showed how much Dazai had craved accomplishments for his writings, eventho he writes how much he loathes his work very much.

Reading this book is like reading an unfinished journal of a man that is slowly falling in the abyss of madness. Its witty at some parts, quite philosophical - in the sense of his views in art and literature - but also contained emotions that breaks you apart and pulls you into an abyss of darkness with him as well. Dazai is an exceptional writer. Whilst his actions are not the best, his writings never cease to amaze me. There's something bleak and hopeful at the same time , but also reflected how much relatable his writings are to me. Its not a happy book per say, but I do find that I get how much his writings can impact me in instances that I can't really explain. Its liberating but also depressing and thats what makes his works ones that I will appreciate.

I feel that, you will either love or hate this book. Dazai's writing is not for everyone. Not with him starting to disassociate himself and how his views on the world can be narrow, there is also a part of his works that speaks volumes of the voices in the dark, and gives it a structure and a name. Dazai is definitely a character that is not the best and he himself acknowledges it, which makes it more sad to read his works.

Dazai will always remain one of my fav authors and he is one interesting author to study on. This book is def not for everyone, but personally, it spoke volumes for me. I loved it.

Personal Ratings : 4.75🌟

Biggest thank you to @definitelybooks for this copy! I truly appreciate it.

I read this in one seating and best believe, as someone who really does not read a lot of self-help books, this one was actually not bad per say; and it felt like the author was talking to us readers in a sense that made me rethink back a lot of things that have passed in my life.

Gratitude felt like the author is making sense of something that is so trivial ; which is just, accepting sometimes that there are things that are meant to be and that God has ways in making us humans go through things in a certain way in this life to make us stronger and more so- closer to him. The book was short and concise, and I liked that the author had wrote her experiences in ways that didn't feel condescending , in fact, she wrote it in such a matter-of-fact way, that it made me change back some ways that I look at things and changed my perspectives in some views in life.

I think one of the biggest things that made me liked the book was the fact that I could relate to the author's tribulation in sickness. Whilst mine is in a totally different way than hers, it felt like I was actually seen and heard the first time. Its so hard to be grateful and not angry to God when something bad happens to you. You'll blame fate to try to make yourself feel better, and I liked that , the author just gave an ayat in the Quran and showed how , in sickness and in health, God is always there with us. Its just the matter of us to want to find it or not that actually matters.

I feel that this book is like a reminder to us, especially if you're a Muslim that is picking up this book, that there are times that being human means being angry with everyone including God, but is also reflecting back that everything happens for a reason, and that there's so much more to life than just being angry. Acceptance is hard, and yet, if we practice gratitude, not just to the people around us, but most importantly, our own self, we will get the sense of gratification that we seek in this world and in the here after.

Quite an interesting read that I finished in one seating. It showed me that there's more to the world than just your anger and your frustrations. There's joy of your family, the love that you didn't think you deserved, and mostly, of yourself that is still alive. And that, is what I feel that matters most.

Personal Ratings : 4.25🌟

This book had made me feel all sorts of things and I can't say much about the book without spoiling it, so these are my thoughts (non-spoilery) and its best to go into the book as clueless as I am.

This book was unconventional and had made me feel all kinds of messy and pain. Its centralized with a main theme that can make you gasp and just hate the character if you're very conservative, but what I liked about this book that it showed what it is to be human .

Again, its best to go into the book blind, but here are some major trigger warnings that I would like to put as I know that the topic can be very triggering to some but its in the spoiler tag so consider yourself warned:-Miscarriage, Loss of Child, Infidelity

Anyways, here are some of my thoughts for the book and how I find it a read that I will be remember for quite a long time:-

1) Main Theme
I feel that the main theme of the book revolves around a topic that is very uncoventional but its not something that is entirely new, especially with how our generation are progressing at this day and age As more women became more independent, there is a sort of understanding in how we want to carry our relationship and pursue what we want. At the end of the day, whilst a woman is expected to be subjected to a certain role, its also important that we know how to fend for ourselves.

2) Handling Trauma and Grief
Trauma and grief are two things that don't go well together. A traumatic event is one thing, but combined with grief? It can lead someone to do things that are way out of what they should be doing. There are ways to handle trauma and grief, and the author had shown how messy and self-punishing one can be if it is not handled and channeled well. At the end of the day, its best to seek professional help as it can do more better than being stuck in our head and not knowing a way to look for to go through being alive.

3) Transgenerational Trauma
Its often uneasy to express yourself, but transgenerational trauma makes one of the important points of how messy the main character, Abby, is. I do love her , and I do want to hug her, but really, she does make very questionable at times. Honestly, I love reading messy women characters because lets face it, no women is not a mess in their heads , and its nice to feel you're not alone. But, whats sad, especially in the Asian household and in our society, transgenerational trauma affects their choices in life and how they shape to become as an adult. The author had portrayed the characters as such and it really made my heart ached for her. Her mom is pretty amazing tho and I'm thankful that she has a rock that tethers her to the ground when she goes astray.

4) Being Human
Human often made mistakes, sometimes, it can go very out of proportion and defies laws in religion, but I also loved that Abby owns up to her mistakes and seeks for solace through it all. Being human is what make this book very endearing and the side characters makes up for some technical stuff (in the writing style).

Anyways, this book is definitely NOT for the traditional readers. If you've never picked up a FIXI book your whole life and this is your first time...... I will say, read it with an open mind. As for me, I appreciated the author's effort in making this book one that reflects the society that we live in , and mostly, it implores you to question your morality and mostly understanding that being human means that mistakes are often made more than we can manage at times, but at the end, the Almighty will pave a way that is best for you, even in the darkest moments.

Personal Ratings: 4.25🌟 Recommended!

Now, how do I articulate my thoughts for this book.

This novel was disorienting at best, and left me simply being separated from my body. Its like having an out-of-body experience, and as I continue the pages through the book, I find myself actually believing the delusional stupor that the narrator has. Its like she has convinced me to a point that its hard for readers to even differentiate between what was real and what was just an illusion, painted from the narrator's head. Vile and nauseating ; its a story that dives down into the fandom culture, in ways that leaves your mouth hanging, your brains hurting and simply, its a story that can be understood for those who has been reading fan-fictions half her life.

A thoroughly invoking read of a woman who got infatuated by an idol - who suddenly went into retirement. She decided to head on to Seoul to find him and in journey of doing so, its of how she came to see sense of the world as well. A somewhat satirical tale for the obsession of idols, its abuse by the government in the name of culture and the expectations of humans in a being that is tangible. Dark, vile and nauseating, its a story that will def turn off a switch in your brain and left you staring into oblivion for quite a bit.

For this novel, I feel that there were so many things to unpack. For a debut, I feel its a read that left me feeling very unhinged after finishing. I'll write my thoughts in points as to make more sense of what I will be writing, because honestly, my brain still hurts after finishing this.

1. Writing Style
For a debut novel, the writing is seemingly beautiful. Never mind that the contents are unhinged, I feel that the author took a topic that is mundane - and made it somewhat like watching a classical opera that you have no idea what is it about but you appreciate it anyways. There is a flair in her writing that makes it beautiful but with the topics that she wrote, its almost criminal how she can describe something to a point that left me almost dizzy and just nauseous. Yi definitely exceeded what most debut authors have and I def applaud her for her effort.

2. On Obsession in The Fandom Culture
This book might be a hit and miss for some, especially if you're not familiar with the workings of a fandom. As someone that has been in a few (literally just fallen into a Seventeen Abyss) - there is somewhat a realization in how bad things can happen if the obsession is manifested into something dark. Reading this book reminded me of Idol, Burning - but giving us a different take in the fandom culture. Whilst Idol Burning focuses more on the desperation and depression of a girl who only views her idol as somewhat like a saviour, Y/N is a dark take in which can lead someone into a dark abyss that seemed almost cult-ish. Its definitely depressing at times, and I somehow get why the unnamed narrator felt as strongly to the idol , but its showing the downsides of obsession that can turn into delusion and can somewhat ruin a person. Will everyone like this book? No. Not exactly; but if you have been in a fandom, you definitely can find significance in the story.

3. Parallel Reality To Our World
In some ways, whats scary about the book is how close to reality some scenes can be. It might be exagerated at times, but- there are fans who views their idols as Gods, when in fact, they're humans that has been put into the spotlight of fame, which is a result from capitalism. I also liked how certain scenes showed how much power the fandom and idol culture is, that it can literally change politics and shift in power in terms of controlling a crowd. There is a study in the Hallyu- wave in how it had affected the economics of the significant countries , in this case South Korea - and idols are somewhat viewed as the key chess players in the game of politics. Its almost ironic and I liked how the author subtly puts the context of this into the story.


Overall, would I recommend this to everyone? Not exactly. But I will definitely recommend it to anyone who is in a fandom. There were certain parts (especially the depressing ones) that are very much relatable, but there are also certain parts that will leave you feeling a bit weirded out. Overall, its a read that is experimental but I will very much will love to read books by Esther Yi after this. A gem.

Personal Ratings: 4🌟

Biggest thank you to Times Reads for this beautiful copy!

What if the story of your life is narrated by the voices in your head?

Witty, smart and intriguing. This book definitely took me by surprise. From its writing to the plot itself, and mostly the message that the author had brought forward. The elements of survival (like seriously, surviving zombies?) had made me finished this book in one seating, and not a moment of this book was a bore. Suitable for its intended audience, the story-telling is very straightforward and does not have much fillers. Being the fact that its a novella, its a bit of a shame that the character development can't be explored as much, however, overall, I was very satisfied finishing the book.

Here are some of the highlights that I feel made this book very endearing to me.

1) The Mental Health Representation
Its not actually easy to write a book that is intended for the younger audience on the representation of mental health, but I feel that this book checked the box. Schizophrenia is a condition that can be brutal if its not controlled by medicine, or the person itself didn't want to be responsible in taking medications himself. The book started with Rumi in the hospital going through his psychiatric session and its one that I feel its very realistic and eye opening, especially written in the context of the backdrop of Kuala Lumpur. It makes it closer to reality and showed that this condition was not the faults of the patients. It can be controlled and people with mental health conditions can lead normal lives.

2) Characterization
Whilst there is not much can be done for character progression as it is a novella, I feel that the author had done a great job in creating a character that is not only witty but showed the realities of someone who is suriving a mental health condition. Not only that, the characters in here was so ENDEARING . Please, I freaking love Lipur eventho technically he doesn't exist. he's literally just a voice in Rumi's head , and I somewhat imagined him as David Rose in Schitts Creek. Such a mood. In some ways, whilst the interactions of Rumi and Lipur - reality wise - is very sad, but it was just very funny and .. unhinged. I thrive of dark humour so this served its purpose.

3) Simple and Straightforward Storytelling

Whilst the plot is pretty straightforward and I DEFINITELY needed more, overall, the whole plot progression of the book made sense. I was a bit pissed with how it ended (like seriously I need more), but all in all, I wasn't mad reading the book. The Writing Style has some things that can be improved technical-wise, but , intended for the audience, it will definitely be a very interesting read for everyone and anyone.

All in all, this book is a gem that I feel should be read by everyone. There are some gore elements in here, but nothing too gore-ish. I definitely enjoyed this book and it can be finished in one seating as a light, adventerous read that focuses on family, love and mostly being seen as normal. Its interesting that if in the real world, Rumi and Eve will be seen as the "weird ones" but comparing it to a chaotic world - they were the normal ones in the situation. And that, is a win that is far more valuable besides the act of survival itself. Goes to show, you'll never know how someone can do to survive, and people with mental health conditions had fought their worst enemies (themselves) to survive in this harsh world. Its a tad ironic that the most "insane" people were the ones who survived.

Highly recommended!
Personal Ratings : 4🌟

CRYING SCREAMING CAUSE OMFG I LOVE COLIN AND PENELOPE SO MUCH!!!!

POLIN NATION! UNITE! AGH! LOVE ! LOVE! LOVE!!!!

I don't know how to describe this feeling, but lowkey, reading Pen and Colin's book is like reading two nerds in love. One who has been pining over the person for a long long time, and another who had just realized their feelings for the other person.

If I liked Benedict's book solely for the family - COLIN AND PENELOPE EXCELS THE ROMANCE FOR ALL THE BRIDGERTONS.

LORD Colin was SMITTEN. LIKE SMITTEN HEAD OVER HEELS AGH.

And my girl Penelope. Gawd I love her. With her being a plus size, a wallflower and one that is keen to attention and just the sunshine, gosh I love reading about her thoughts and her fights with Colin. And that carriage scene EXCUSE ME SIR HAHAHAHAHAHA THAT WAS :')

Not a proper review but gosh this had my heart in more ways than one. I really can't take any less they're just my people, Colin and Penelope and I can't wait to see her get her love in the series soon .