This book had made me feel all sorts of things and I can't say much about the book without spoiling it, so these are my thoughts (non-spoilery) and its best to go into the book as clueless as I am.

This book was unconventional and had made me feel all kinds of messy and pain. Its centralized with a main theme that can make you gasp and just hate the character if you're very conservative, but what I liked about this book that it showed what it is to be human .

Again, its best to go into the book blind, but here are some major trigger warnings that I would like to put as I know that the topic can be very triggering to some but its in the spoiler tag so consider yourself warned:-Miscarriage, Loss of Child, Infidelity

Anyways, here are some of my thoughts for the book and how I find it a read that I will be remember for quite a long time:-

1) Main Theme
I feel that the main theme of the book revolves around a topic that is very uncoventional but its not something that is entirely new, especially with how our generation are progressing at this day and age As more women became more independent, there is a sort of understanding in how we want to carry our relationship and pursue what we want. At the end of the day, whilst a woman is expected to be subjected to a certain role, its also important that we know how to fend for ourselves.

2) Handling Trauma and Grief
Trauma and grief are two things that don't go well together. A traumatic event is one thing, but combined with grief? It can lead someone to do things that are way out of what they should be doing. There are ways to handle trauma and grief, and the author had shown how messy and self-punishing one can be if it is not handled and channeled well. At the end of the day, its best to seek professional help as it can do more better than being stuck in our head and not knowing a way to look for to go through being alive.

3) Transgenerational Trauma
Its often uneasy to express yourself, but transgenerational trauma makes one of the important points of how messy the main character, Abby, is. I do love her , and I do want to hug her, but really, she does make very questionable at times. Honestly, I love reading messy women characters because lets face it, no women is not a mess in their heads , and its nice to feel you're not alone. But, whats sad, especially in the Asian household and in our society, transgenerational trauma affects their choices in life and how they shape to become as an adult. The author had portrayed the characters as such and it really made my heart ached for her. Her mom is pretty amazing tho and I'm thankful that she has a rock that tethers her to the ground when she goes astray.

4) Being Human
Human often made mistakes, sometimes, it can go very out of proportion and defies laws in religion, but I also loved that Abby owns up to her mistakes and seeks for solace through it all. Being human is what make this book very endearing and the side characters makes up for some technical stuff (in the writing style).

Anyways, this book is definitely NOT for the traditional readers. If you've never picked up a FIXI book your whole life and this is your first time...... I will say, read it with an open mind. As for me, I appreciated the author's effort in making this book one that reflects the society that we live in , and mostly, it implores you to question your morality and mostly understanding that being human means that mistakes are often made more than we can manage at times, but at the end, the Almighty will pave a way that is best for you, even in the darkest moments.

Personal Ratings: 4.25🌟 Recommended!