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bonnieg's review against another edition
5.0
I said I was going to review this after vacation but here I am. I would like to say it is because I am a responsible GR reviewer, but that is a very partial truth. The insanity of the Hanoi Old City Night Market was too much for me tonight. When I was 22 this was heaven, but at my advanced age after getting up at 6 am and traipsing around Vientiane for 7 hours in 112 degree heat (not an misprint) before bolting to the airport and navigating all that jazz I am over the weather and I need a little quiet and the night market is nothing but heat and noise. At this moment I want people to stop jumping out and haranguing me, and for sure I want to stop worrying I am going to be hit by a vehicle every 11 seconds. And so I sent my travel companions on and I came back for a shower, a cup of tea, and a little quiet. I may run up to the roof bar later if I am feeling revived by writing this review, we shall see. Ho Chi Minh's tomb is across town and only open from 7:30-10:30 am so I need to be up early. A review and tea may be the end of the evening for me.
If you have gotten this far while muttering to yourself "what does this have to do with the book?" I appreciate your patience -- and in answer I have to say that everything I have written thus far has fuck all do to do with the book, but I have GR freinds interested in what I am doing and this is for them. From here on out this is all about Laurie Colwin and her gorgeous complicated tale.
Family Happiness tells us the story of Polly Solo-Miller Demarest, born to a demanding family quite convinced of their superiority and filled with some of the most horrid people you will ever meet in life or literature. This family of unyielding unreasonable throwbacks looks to Polly to be their resolute center. She is the person that gets things done, who supports her siblings and parents as they wish to be supported, provides a perfect home for her (actually) perfect husband and her perfect children (all of whom she loves.) Polly is charming and smart and modern. She cooks like a 4-star chef, dresses in the finest of Park Avenue matron appropriate clothing, darns her husband's socks, supports her precocious children's varied interests. She also holds a job she loves and at which she excels (though her horrid and stupid mother constantly prevails upon her to quit because Polly's job is inconvenient for said horrid and stupid mother since there are moments Polly cannot be available to meet her every need.) In short, Polly is the perfect woman. I kept thinking of the description of an "accomplished woman" offered by Caroline Bingley in Pride and Prejudice:
“A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half-deserved.”
Polly though has a juicy little secret. She has been having a very fulfilling affair for quite some time with Lincoln. Lincoln (she calls him Linky, and that almost spoiled the whole for me) unlike every other person in her inner circle asks little of her. He is a solitary fellow, with no interest in having a wife or family. He wants to paint, he wants to love Polly, and he wants to create paintings of Polly that show how much he loves Polly. Lincoln actually makes Polly better, he gives her the attention her workaholic husband cannot always provide, he supports her as she considers setting boundaries with a family that has none, and he fits rather well into her life in every way. She can hardly run off and travel, or buy a Porsche, She has found a very convenient way to enjoy life's joys at a time when lifes' taxes are much in evidence. Sometimes Colwin makes it too easy to justify Polly's infidelity. In real life her time with Lincoln would impact others. Yes she has a nanny and a babysitter so the kids are cared for, but they certainly have less of their mother. Her family is full of assholes so we celebrate her giving less of herself to them, but in reality aging parents need their adult children to step up a bit, and in real life unlike in this book Polly's parents would likely have some redeeming qualities that would make us want for her to offer them some care. Also, it is hard to see in this book when exactly Polly works, and I have to guess Lincoln would, in life play havoc with her professional life. I would take a half star for making that all so neat, but still rounding up to a GR5 for this beautifully written and ceaselessly enjoyable read about a woman reclaiming her agency in a world that tries hard to deny it.
My unending gratitude to Julie G for continuing ot beat the drum for Ms. Colwin's work. I will be reading more!
marthabohlale's review against another edition
emotional
funny
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
This book was difficult to get into at first, and I initially thought that I wasn't meshing well with Colwin's writing style in this book. As the character grew to be more self-assured and confident, I realized that my initial discomfort was because of her people-pleasing and disconnect from her own emotions.
I grew to like the character and was in awe once again (I read another book she wrote early this year) of the creative cast of characters Colwin crafts.
I grew to like the character and was in awe once again (I read another book she wrote early this year) of the creative cast of characters Colwin crafts.
hlndxn43's review against another edition
hopeful
4.0
Follows Polly, a downtrodden, overlooked wife and daughter who is devoted to her family who treat her poorly! Her attempts to achieve perfection have not brought her the love and contentment she craves and to fill the hole in her life she is having an affair with a reclusive painter. A story of personal growth, as the affair teaches her that she deserves more from her family and that she is able to stand up for herself and demand something of others and much less of herself.
Although most of it is fairly bleak, the growth and change in Polly is ultimately radical and leaves you feeling light and comforted.
Although most of it is fairly bleak, the growth and change in Polly is ultimately radical and leaves you feeling light and comforted.
hshin44's review against another edition
I don’t think this book deserves as much hate as it gets. I think it captures a nuanced pain that many women experience but it did drag towards the end and could have been shorter.
caitkearney's review against another edition
3.0
Woman sets boundaries; family is aghast
3.5 rounded down
3.5 rounded down
marisolea's review against another edition
4.0
Creo que la mayoría de las mujeres amas de casa, trabajen además fuera o no, madres de niños pequeños, se pueden sentir identificadas con Polly, la protagonista de este libro. Madre y esposa abnegada y casi perfecta, con una tribu también tendente a la.perfección, Polly no se da cuenta de lo descontenta que está con su vida hasta que se enamora de Lincoln, un pintor un tanto anacoreta que huye de compromisos estables pero que ofrece a Polly un amor distinto: la quiere no por lo que se espera de ella, ni por lo que haga. La quiere por ella misma, por su dulzura. Y Polly se da cuenta de que siempre ha sido lo que se esperaba que fuera, y siempre ha hecho lo que se esperaba que hiciera. Pero al tratar de hacer frente a su familia y querer ser ella misma se encuentra con una pared, porque no están acostumbrados a esa actitud.
Dejando aparte el tema de la infidelidad, creo, como decía antes, que cualquier ama de casa puede identificarse con Polly: ese no ser tenida en cuenta, ese dar por supuesto que hay cosas que harás tú sin que nadie te lo pida, ese cargar con el peso emocional de la familia y también con el peso intelectual que exige organizar la vida de una familia y que tanto hemos comentado últimamente mis amigas y yo. Que las cosas parezcan funcionar por ósmosis porque siempre están hechas y cuando hay un mínimo fallo, un descuido, todos los ojos se vuelvan acusadores y no tengan en cuenta de que hasta ahora nunca te habías descuidado. Por no hablar de esa madre mandunganta y castradora, exigente, criticona y con mala baba.
Por rematar diré que, a ratos, se me ha hecho un poco pesado, pero me podía el interés por saber cómo terminaba la relación de Polly y Lincoln.
Dejando aparte el tema de la infidelidad, creo, como decía antes, que cualquier ama de casa puede identificarse con Polly: ese no ser tenida en cuenta, ese dar por supuesto que hay cosas que harás tú sin que nadie te lo pida, ese cargar con el peso emocional de la familia y también con el peso intelectual que exige organizar la vida de una familia y que tanto hemos comentado últimamente mis amigas y yo. Que las cosas parezcan funcionar por ósmosis porque siempre están hechas y cuando hay un mínimo fallo, un descuido, todos los ojos se vuelvan acusadores y no tengan en cuenta de que hasta ahora nunca te habías descuidado. Por no hablar de esa madre mandunganta y castradora, exigente, criticona y con mala baba.
Por rematar diré que, a ratos, se me ha hecho un poco pesado, pero me podía el interés por saber cómo terminaba la relación de Polly y Lincoln.
anneliehyatt's review against another edition
I feel unequipped to review this book, since the issues that Colwin addresses in Family Happiness seems so divorced from those that I, and many of my female peers, face. Feminism has changed (I wouldn't say progressed, necessarily) so much since then that this book feels as if it's rehashing a certain feminist perspective that has been done to death. However, Colwin delves into these social issues so deeply, and so precisely writes social dynamics and female interiority, that I believe that this book would be very profound for my mother, for example, and perhaps myself ten or fifteen years in the future. Similar to her other book, Happy All the Time, which is one of my favorites, there aren't any villains: some characters might be annoying, self-centered, or high-strung, but none of them can truly be described as "bad people." Colwin is a master at writing realist novels, even if her subjects are those of a lost middle class.
thoughtmantique's review against another edition
3.0
Un estilo sencillo, que hace que sea una lectura fácil y rápida, más he de admitir que a veces resultaba demasiado repetitivo: la gran mayoría de los párrafos inician con el nombre de alguien, y constantemente esos nombres se repiten para hacer hincapié sobre quién se está hablando cuando es bastante obvio que no se ha cambiado de sujeto. También repite a menudo la mismas palabra en frases muy cercanas («No es que la desdicha amara la compañía, es que necesitaba la compañía: la compañía y orientación de alguien que hubiera sentido la misma infelicidad.» [p.254]).
Desde un primer momento detesté a los Solo-Miller: sus tradiciones, su dinámica familiar, sus roles, su inalterabilidad. Soy totalmente incapaz de conectar con ninguno de sus miembros, pues sus papeles en la novela son sumamente estáticos y no muestran ninguna evolución. Además, a nivel personal, rechazo por completo este tipo de familias tan apegadas y que delimitan al milímetro el rol de cada miembro.
Me costó muchísimo conectar con Polly. La primera parte del libro se llena de sus quejas y tristezas que no se ven acompañadas de ninguna reflexión, algo que me arrastró al tedio durante la lectura. Poco a poco, eso sí, logré entender su lugar en sí misma y el peso que lleva a sus hombros. Se la describe como perfecta, amable, carismática, y aunque llegue a resultar a veces cansino e irreal lo 'perfecta' que resulta, más adelante en la novela se logra contextualizar y dotar de un significado más profundo.
Fuera de ella, ningún otro personaje resulta del todo tridimensional: cada uno mantiene su postura en la narración de principio a fin. Aquel con más profundidad resulta ser Lincoln, y aún así siento que a penas se rasca la superficie de su carácter, más allá de amar la soledad y de amar a Polly.
Fuera de todo lo dicho anteriormente tiene frases memorables, da pie a reflexionar sobre el papel que se nos otorga por nacimiento así como el peso que causan las expectativas de los demás en nosotros, y logra hablar del adulterio desde una perspectiva mucho más humana y menos sensacionalista.
Desde un primer momento detesté a los Solo-Miller: sus tradiciones, su dinámica familiar, sus roles, su inalterabilidad. Soy totalmente incapaz de conectar con ninguno de sus miembros, pues sus papeles en la novela son sumamente estáticos y no muestran ninguna evolución. Además, a nivel personal, rechazo por completo este tipo de familias tan apegadas y que delimitan al milímetro el rol de cada miembro.
Me costó muchísimo conectar con Polly. La primera parte del libro se llena de sus quejas y tristezas que no se ven acompañadas de ninguna reflexión, algo que me arrastró al tedio durante la lectura. Poco a poco, eso sí, logré entender su lugar en sí misma y el peso que lleva a sus hombros. Se la describe como perfecta, amable, carismática, y aunque llegue a resultar a veces cansino e irreal lo 'perfecta' que resulta, más adelante en la novela se logra contextualizar y dotar de un significado más profundo.
Fuera de ella, ningún otro personaje resulta del todo tridimensional: cada uno mantiene su postura en la narración de principio a fin. Aquel con más profundidad resulta ser Lincoln, y aún así siento que a penas se rasca la superficie de su carácter, más allá de amar la soledad y de amar a Polly.
Fuera de todo lo dicho anteriormente tiene frases memorables, da pie a reflexionar sobre el papel que se nos otorga por nacimiento así como el peso que causan las expectativas de los demás en nosotros, y logra hablar del adulterio desde una perspectiva mucho más humana y menos sensacionalista.