Wow, I am honestly flabbergasted by what this book turned out to be. All I'd ever heard of the Vorkosigan saga is how amazing and fun it is, so while I figured going into it that it might be slightly outdated, I had never expected it to be this terrible. The entire romance is instalove and SO MUCH of the plot is driven by sexual assault! WHAT!

I was having fun in the beginning though, with Cordelia stranded on a planet that her team was doing a scientific survey of. I knew her relationship with Vorkosigan would turn into a romance eventually, but their interactions in the beginning were casual and fun. I liked seeing them explore and meet more creatures on the planet, like the vampire balloons?! It felt like an episode of Star Trek, with the away team crew.

My interest started going downhill when Vorkosigan proposed marriage in the most abrupt and unromantic way possible SO EARLY into the book! Cordelia's response actually made sense (mostly confusion) but she soon did a complete 180 and became obsessed with him in a way that felt so fake. But the biggest nail in the coffin for me was the scene when

Cordelia is stripped naked and tied to a bed and almost raped by that admiral (idk anyone's names because they all sound the same), who then tried to force Bolthari to rape her. SHE WAS LITERALLY NAKED AND POWERLESS in front of TWO MEN and her reaction after Bolthari killed the dude was basically just, "phew, I’m glad Vorkosigan is here!" Like WHAT? There was no terror from her either during or after. She seemed completely unaffected by that revolting scenario?!?! She was more angry at Vorkosigan supposedly drugging her in her sleep for intel (though it was revealed he actually didn't and she didn't care much about him pretending he did).

Cordelia seemed so unbothered by everything that happened to her... how am I supposed to root for a character like that?!

Not to mention all the other mentions of rape...

That one prisoner who casually said that the Barrayaran men were "shopping for rapees" with no reaction either, Bolthari being revealed to have saved a woman from evil rapist's clutches who was so traumatized and then ended up raping her and IMPREGNATING HER and then allowed to keep her child?! And then that whole scene with the placentas of raped prisoner women (presumed dead??) that Cordelia told Vorkosigan he should keep alive because "some cultures value life" or whatever

, like this is some kind of pro-life propaganda? Why? What's the relevance?? Like seriously, what the fuck is this shit?

I haven't even gone into all the things that annoyed me about Cordelia and Aral's relationship, and my entire confusion over the plot and all the politics that I couldn't care less about. Not sure why every important Barrayaran man had to have a name that started with "Vor." Every name started to sound like gibberish and blended together, especially listening to this via audiobook. I also really hated that Cordelia immediately believed everything Aral told her, despite it contradicting all the history she'd been taught (

I found myself agreeing with the other prisoners over Cordelia... the dude is known as the butcher of Komarr!

).

I don't know man. I'm really annoyed that I went into this expecting a fun jolly time and then had to listen to so much rape. It's really disgusting. If I squint and think back to the beginning of the book, I can see the potential for a fun story and world, which is why this gets 2 stars and not less (and the epilogue was hauntingly beautiful and a nice break from the awfulness before it. plus I enjoyed the "I didn't even vote for him" jokes about the Betan president). But I had such a terrible time with this that I can't see myself continuing on in the series for a while. I need a break from this disappointment. If I do continue, I think I'll skip to Miles' story in The Warrior's Apprentice, because I really don't want to spend any more time with Cordelia and Aral (or Bolthari), yuck.

There are lots of things to like here. The prose has some excellent turns of phrase. The characters are complex and flawed, the lot of them. The plot comes together over time, but with enough happening at any given moment to give you a sense of tension in the immediate.

That said, the prose can fall down as well (I still can't believe "grimly glum" got past an editor). The book is also rather dated (1986 pub date) in its handling of mental illness - you can tell that there's a progressive (for the time) mindset around it being a medical issue and not reason itself for recrimination, but some rather heinous actions seem to be written off pretty quickly and the character returned to good graces. It removes agency from the character, and plays to stereotypes at the same time. Frankly, in general, characters move beyond traumatic or harrowing events pretty fast.

The epilogue - honestly, I wanted to bump the entire review up a whole star for the epilogue. It managed to craft a compelling story in such a short amount of time, to develop themes so quickly, and throw in relief the themes of the larger book as a whole. I settled on a half star because, well, why didn't the rest of the book capture me quite so soundly? Anyway, Lois, I realize this book is forty years old and you never saw fit to write about her again, but please give me some more Tersa Boni.

A reread. It’s been several years since I last read it and I enjoyed it just as much this time. This book made me start reading sci-fi again when I read it the first time. The rest of the series is just as entertaining. 

No one is better than Lois! 

I like that this book gets me to thinking about biases based on stories I’ve heard. Some stories exaggerate how bad someone is while others exaggerate how good they are. In the end, I appreciate the message from the author that all people should be treated with respect as someone loved and cared for by someone else. Someone, I will admit there are people I find it difficult to extend this treatment to. 

I've read this one before, and it's interesting the different perspectives you get when you read books at different stages of your life. Bujold is one of the best adventure writers, if you ask me, and Cordelia is one of her best characters. I really enjoy stories of competent couples, and Aral and Cordelia definitely qualify. I generally don't like too much romance in my sci-fi, but you know what? Neither do Aral and Cordelia. They've got a lot on their plates.

That said, there are definitely parts of this book that do not age well, in particular the treatment of SA. I feel like the subject is treated much too casually and while I see how she is trying to make Bothari into a complicated survivor of abuse himself, I think it puts the emphasis in the wrong place and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. For 1986, it's extremely progressive, but it doesn't pass modern standards in this one area and as such, carries a sizable SA content warning.

Still, if you portion that out, it's a classic of the genre, features one of the best female heroes of the time period, and a is great start to an epic saga.