Michael is a British-Congolese teacher struggling to find balance or respite from the separate identities, expectations and conflicts pulling at him. Across two alternating timeliness, we feel the weight of the injustices that have flattened Michael's heart and, as he spirals ever more dramatically towards destruction, we move closer to understanding the scope of the devastation which forged his path.

Oh boy. This novel is so immensely powerful. In early chapters, I found myself repeatedly dumbfounded and distraught by my recognition of the narrative's abject hopelessness. There were entire passages which could have been plucked from the pages of my adolescent journals. As a reflection on MH and the urge to leave ourselves behind, it's hauntingly close to reality. Bola's prose presents such a profound emotional vulnerability, rendered so beautifully and so honestly; it's truly courageous writing.

'there I stood, a dilapidated building, falling apart brick by brick by brick.'

"All these positives but only ⭐️⭐️⭐️??" Let me explain. Though TSAOB held so much potential, the ARC I read wasn't flawless and while it did break my heart, it didn't reshape my world. I think the sincere familiarity I felt with the narrative's meandering introspection lessened the intended impact and often just left me frustrated. It's not you, it's me.

Though this story is undoubtedly one of loss and trauma, it's also one of such boundless empathy and hard-fought hope. It's yet another shining expression of the power of fiction to expand our hearts and to help us see, to know, each other.

Huge thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for providing eARC access in exchange for this review. I'm so glad to have shared in Michael's journey.

There are so many passages that I want to share to show how beautiful this writing is. I think that almost all of the reviews that I have read, have used the word lyrical; and that is because Bola's writing is exactly that. His tale of Michael Kabongo, a young British-Congolese teacher in London is both tender and intimate, his prose are luminous.

After years of feeling the despair of belonging nowhere, of the burden that comes with the overwhelming sense of powerlessness to overcome life's injustices, and after a tragedy that only serves to add weight to an already burgeoning sense of responsibility - Michael makes the decision to leave his life behind, to travel to the US, with his life savings and to end his life when the money runs out.

A compelling story of what can happen when you give up the will to live, when you accept that life will be what it is, no matter what you do, when death no longer holds any fear. Told in two narratives; past tense in the first person; an up close look at the personal and social pressures of Michael's life and then the third person telling of his trip to America in the present. This change cleverly pushes the reader to arms length, to see the wider view, to feel the weight of the entire situation.

A deeply affecting novel about mental health, systemic racism, the violent marginalisation of Black men around the world and the intrinsic power of love - I highly recommend this relatively short read and I am surprised that I haven't seen more of it around.

I really wanted to like this book as I think men's mental health is such an important topic. However, as many others have stated, I struggled to connect with the main character. There was so much navel gazing, and I couldn't feel sympathy for him because we didn't have enough background on what got him to that point. The pacing was strange. When I got to the part where he begrudged his mother remarrying after she’d been alone 20 years, I felt really exasperated.

I know conventional notions of masculinity are a hot topic right now and it’s a commendable thing to make oneself vulnerable. But at times I thought “wow, this dude is a proper melt”. Possibly I am part of the problem. I had to skim over the ponderous bits (thankfully they are helpfully marked in italic), it was insipid at times, like reading one of Matt Haig's social media posts.

I too need closure on how the hell he got back home after giving his money away.

An easy read, but not particularly pleasurable.

3.5 rounded up

Absolutely beautiful writing, but chapter timelines were confusing and the ending was so abrupt

I received an eARC of this book from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

3.5, rounded up. Do not read this book if you're not in a good place mentally; this book touches on loneliness, suicide, depression, and more. While it has an undercurrent of hope, Michael's long monologues about his despair bury it.

Of course, the sadness is written in a beautiful, lyrical way; JJ Bola's prolific abilities as a poet really shine through here. The dual voices for the two timelines (both of which chronicle Michael's experiences) were distracting at first, but they actually helped me differentiate between the different plot points more easily. There are some discrepancies (e.g., Michael's third-person perspective popping up in his first-person-perspective timeline) that will hopefully be fixed in the final, published version.

Overall, this is a beautiful but heart-wrenching little book. Read it for a good cry and some thought-provoking questions about identity and belonging.

I almost didn't rate it because I hated the story and would not recommend... but the writing was at times poignant, and I did actually finish the book (I am very quick to abandon books and feel no obligation to finish. I was really hoping for a turn in the story).

The hero hates his life, has all the signs of depression and suicidal behaviour, does not seek help nor does anyone invite him to (and the author never mentions it as an option). So instead, he plans an elaborate suicide plan that you hope will eventually remind him he has a life worth living.

No spoilers here, but every character along the way is desperate and depressed as well, leaving you to believe the best there is isn't worth much at all. It makes it seem like any silver lining is fake or manufactured, fleeting at best, and the only things real are pain, emptiness, disassociation and pointlessness. Did not love.

got me thinking
luvly prose

The Selfless Act of Breathing is the lyrically-written story of Michael Kabongo, a Congolese-Brit, battling mental health challenges after experiencing a loss. He decides to travel to the US for “one last adventure.” Michael is not sure he wants to live, and this book digs deep into his inner thoughts and turmoil.

Told between the past set in London and the present in the US, this story goes there in terms of depression and suicide. What stands out most is how a dark, taboo topic can be written about in a beautiful, poetic style. Maybe books like this one will help dispel taboos regarding mental health and mental illness?

Michael’s story is a richly emotional journey, and it’s a bit open-ended in ways, which will allow the reader to reflect and come to their own conclusions.

I received a gifted copy.

Many of my reviews can also be found on my blog: www.jennifertarheelreader.com and instagram: www.instagram.com/tarheelreader