Suicide. Now there's a topic to mull over during dinner. Despite having lived with a brain that's been telling me to kill myself for the last twenty years, I don't consider myself an expert in the subject. Indeed, given suicide's inherent characteristics, I wouldn't say anyone could be so and still remain among the living. Long story short, the field of view is eternally subjective, and with such a charged, still largely taboo on the Occidental side of things topic at hand, if you encounter a piece of literature that purposefully seeks it out, rather than tacks it on to a dangling plotline or less than credible character development in order to smooth over an incoming flaw, you're dealing with something unique. Brave, even. Still, not only have I dealt with my fair share of days lived under a depressive episode, I've also read a reasonable number of books, and when it comes to fixing the trajectory of self-annihilation into print, there are certain things that work and certain things that don't. For me, this book fell into more of the latter than the former, but I still admire it for the topics it chose to tackle, especially ones that are oh so pertinent to the 21st century and yet (or perhaps because of that) are so unlikely to show up on the bestseller lists. An exercise in weighing individual evaluation against the communal sphere of influence, then. In reviews, we can achieve little else.

In case you haven't figured it out by now, I'm one of those incessantly annoying critics when it comes to the whole 'show not tell' side of writing. It's a tool that's served me well both in my own writing and evaluating that of others, and until there comes a time when narratives take a deep dive and make resembling Wikipedia articles the fashion, I'll continue to adhere to it. Certain topics of course can veer away from the principle and do just fine, but when it comes to a work that aims to be a meditation on whether or not to take one's life, it's not unfair for me to expect a certain level of measured introspection without a great deal of bangs and booms. What I found was a mirroring plot trajectory with first person reminiscing interwove with third person present recountals, and while the attempts at a certain style of prose were appreciated, I cared more about how the writing chose to portray the evolution of suicidal ideation, something that I myself am more than familiar with. In the end, while I was able to follow the narrative well enough and certain plot events and thought digressions were more intriguing than not, especially when delving into the complications of being Black on both sides of the Atlantic, there were too many climaxes and not enough resolutions for a work taking on so many heavy topics in less than 300 pages. As I said earlier, there is certainly a need for a work such as this taking on such concerns in an extremely 21st century, and I more than appreciate the author's intent. However, the piece as story did not work for me, and I've lived long enough to know that it doesn't do well to continue to dwell on that more than it takes time to write this review, especially with subject material such as this.

If you told me what would happen in my life between the time I started writing this review and the time I finished it, I would lose a good week of sleep in tormented expectation. As it stands, I have come through it all relatively unscathed, and I find myself ever more appreciative of having a small, yet solid community whom I can come to in times of trauma and trust to aid me in my path towards healing. The main character's descent happens part and parcel due to the fracturing of his community, from the most intimate of familial relations to the most chaotic of strangers finding a home in each other, and while I didn't see the point in piling on so many events that were each in and of themselves strong enough to crush someone entirely in so close a succession, I do commend the accurate portrayal of cause and effect. In any case, while I would prefer not to contribute to the work's less than stellar average rating, if I start hedging my bets now, I will have less room in which to properly evaluate future reads in any particularly credible sense. So, if you're thinking about reading this, take into consideration the trigger warnings, both encompassed by the book summary and otherwise (discussions of sexual assault, depictions of racism, drug abuse, misogyny, queerphobia, etc) and choose accordingly. This didn't prove to be the read that I needed to convince me to keep on living. But it may very well end up being that for someone else.

From beyond this lonely feeling, to healing; the selfless act of breathing.

I wanted to like this book, especially when I saw it compared to Backman's A Man Called Ove and Gyasi's Transcendent Kingdom. I was bored. So bored. And it felt like it was going nowhere at a snails pace.....

At first, the writing felt disjointed and odd because of the chapters alternating between first and third person narration. It did get some time to get used to but I got past it eventually.
This book gave me all the melancholy feels so definitely make sure you’re in a good headspace before reading it.

The Selfless Act of Breathing follows Michael who leaves London to go on an adventure in the USA. Once his savings run out, he will end his life. From San Francisco to Dallas to Chicago to New York - Michael parties with friends, has sporadic romances, and splurges his money without any efforts of trying to save it.

The writing was so beautiful, I highlighted so many sentences and even whole paragraphs. I may consider buying this novel to add to my shelf. This book is really powerful as Michael feels so real and his feelings are heartbreaking but relatable.

Some of the book did get boring with some of the random characters as they felt a little underdeveloped but that didn’t bug me so much since Michael was a strong character. Overall, I really enjoyed this novel. Thank you so much to Atria for an advanced copy of this book.

I came across this at the library, it looked interesting, and it turned out not to be for me.

I received a copy of this book via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Suffocating under the weight of life and past trauma, Michael Kabongo, a Congolese-British teacher, leaves London and goes to America for a last adventure before he ends his life. The novel is set up with alternating timelines: Michael's past life in London, which is narrated in first person, and his trip across America, narrated in third person. At times the prose is beautiful and lyrical, other times it's rather expository, even awkward. But the strength of this novel is in its emotional texture and the way it explores race, love, and what makes a life worth living.

The description of The Selfless Act of Breathing buy JJ Bola speaks of the life of a refugee, the Black experience in London, a loss, a new beginning, and a transformation. However, it leaves out that the main character begins the book contemplating suicide. That aside, the book narrates the story in a two-time line approach, at times first person and at times third person. Not knowing or understanding Michael's "why" for this final journey makes it challenging to follow him as a character.

Read my complete review at http://www.memoriesfrombooks.com/2023/12/the-selfless-act-of-breathing.html

Reviewed for NetGalley.