Another great little title with big concepts from the amazing Thich Nhat Hanh. I think I have to confess that I've read so many of these smaller books of his that I'm almost certain there are basic concepts that are in rotation among all of them, and while they are still treated freshly, I wonder at times if it might be time to move on to his more advanced works, as well as those of the other established Buddhist authors and translators (which I already do). Almost all of this book can be found in the simply outstanding "Anger - Wisdom for Cooling the Flames."

Having said that, there is always something new to find in Thay's writings, even these smaller retreads, no matter if it is your first or your thousand and first reading.

I just finished reading the whole "How to Sit" series of six books by Thich Nhat Hanh, ending with "How to Fight" and I think this was the most impactful. I read them all in order, and while it's not really necessary, for me it was extremely helpful. I am very new to the concept of mindfulness and Buddhist principles, but these books are quick, calming, and pleasant reads, and will remain on my to-read list forever. Yearly reads will become mandatory and if I'm being honest with myself, probably more often than that. Especially for people suffering from anxiety, depression, and turmoil in their lives as a result, these books act like little solo therapy sessions. Highly recommended.

Baby steps through conflict, with compassion.

This is a tiny book. Scarcely more than a pamphlet. And it is packed with gems. At one point my notes began to resemble a transcription rather than excerpts. Thich Nhat Hanh lays out approaches to handling conflict and anger within ourselves and with others. He approaches it as one expects a mindfulness teacher to approach it but he is hardly out of touch - speaking of neural pathways and also discussing the pros of phone conversations rather than texts or emails when dealing with difficult conversations. I appreciate his warnings against rehearsing anger when we may think we are seeking catharsis. I find his suggestion of a peace treaty between individuals to be intriguing.

And I plan to practice a lot of hugging meditation when the time comes that the pandemic is over and it is safe. So much hugging meditation.

I don't know about y'all, but being cooped up with the same people all the time is tricky! I needed to recenter and reset and this helped. However, it's also pretty repetitive of other books by Hanh.

Great insights!

Always a power reminder to be found in this series.

a sweet book about listening, reconciliation, and forgiveness

There are parts of this book that I agree with and think could be very helpful to myself immediately, but I think there is some perspective unaccounted for through the advice given. No matter the situation, mindfulness, breathing, loving kindness, and care and understanding for our hurt inner child can improve the way we feel about and conduct ourselves, particularly in relation to others. As much as we have been hurt and as angry as we might be, we don’t have to perpetuate that suffering by relaying it onto others. In the broadest sense, knowing the ways I have experienced emotional pain encourages me to listen and do my best to only share love, care, and kindness with others. I think the reminder that good intentions sometimes fall short is valuable, and a certain humility must be considered if we genuinely care to address the ways we unintentionally hurt others. At the same time, there is comfort in the inevitability that mistakes will happen and what matters more is what we do next to promote healing.

All of this said, a solution for when someone continually engages in harming others and won’t come to the table with mindfulness is not offered. Perhaps I’m limited in perspective to begin with and with time I’ll find more peace within myself so that I can better address the obvious hurting in someone who does much to hurt me. Perhaps greater insight can be pieced together by reading the other short books from this series.

I wish everyone would read this book and/or align themselves with the practices of mindfulness in their relationships because then we could truly work towards the constructive future of love and care this book suggests could be possible. Working on mindfulness practices to continually meet hurtful interactions with love is something that could be done, but at this moment I feel like I would still need an outlet for the pain caused or an alternate source of compassion to address that hurt.