Equal parts brilliant and delightful!

“When you’re a girl who really loves a thing it’s not just about you and the thing. Everyone else makes it their problem. You can’t love the thing unseen. You either pointblank love the wrong thing (Take That), or you love the right thing (Blur) but in the wrong way (screaming at concerts) or for the wrong reasons (ogling). You can try to sidestep judgment by trying to love your thing the way a man would, but sadly you remain a girl so now you’re a fake.”

This book brought up so many interesting questions for me. What brings me joy? What are my interests? And it left me lots to ponder. Would be great to discuss in a book club.

As a new mom, I lost all sense of who I was, and had to work like hell to re-find myself. This book is important to anyone who has ever felt that way (not just from motherhood, by the way). I'm also really good at being a fan. Maybe it's my ADHD laser focus/hyperfixations, maybe it's just how I am. Anyways, I resonated so much with so much of this book. Good mix of personal stories, interviews and research on why we love to love things... And why it's OKAY to love to love things!

I tabbed probably 40 pages in this book. Really good.

Audiobook

I registered this book bc I'm not a BC fan. But you can only have something come to your awareness so many thousands times before you have to give in.

And spoiler - this book isn't really about BC!! Shocker, I know!

Love what you love. But dear Lord, love something!

This is a book about being a fan, a book about pure obsession. It’s a feminine take on those preoccupations which border on unhinged, the teenage attachment to a celebrity.

I was instantly attracted as I’ve been a fangirl since I was young. My mum had an Aragorn appreciation board; it didn’t take me long to follow her footsteps with Harry from McFly. As a teen, I flipped from obsession to obsession with no shame, each time feeling pure joy. Admittedly, since I’ve grown up, these obsessions have quietened. I’ll still have my phases (hello Ben Whishaw).

I related HARD to parts where Carvan spoke of shame, of being “cool” about the obsession, hanging vaguely in ‘ironic’ because you’re “not like other girls”. I’ve always applied that distance too, there always felt like there was ick to being unapologetic about fandom. I’ve always found the collective often has the power to put me off.

Parts about motherhood went more over my head but writing in this area is so vital. Women losing themselves to motherhood is something we can save, I feel, especially if we’re talking about it.

I did find that Carvan stuck very much in her Cumberbatch space, which I wasn’t expecting. I guess I thought she’d use her obsession to explore the general sense of fandom a little more.

That said, Carvan often dips into feminist literature & she meets interesting people who know more about psychology than her (often who are also cumberbitches). She links the derision that people have towards certain fandoms to the work of a biologist to research female birdsong, articulating how society diminishes female interests & culture so deftly. I love when something seemingly fun/ light can be connected to a bigger issue, and thus movement.

I guess I’ve emerged from this book feeling more empowered to embrace my interests & passion, even if it doesn’t feel socially sanctioned.

Not at all what I thought it would be. Entertaining and also a positive nudge to embrace and dive into the things we are passionate about. I enjoyed the part about the hobbies women acquire - quilting, knitting, etc that double as providing to the home and are therefore seen as a productive use of time. Women should embrace what makes them happiest and should be able to carve out time - if you feel like you need permission for this, this book is it.

It's been a while since I've given a book five stars but this is a fantastic, hilarious, insightful book on the door-opening power of loving things and everyone should read it.

It so nice to find things in the world that make you feel less crazy. I don't even like boys and yet, Benedict's weird face got me too! This book is NOT about Cumberbatch, but instead, what it's like to become obsessed with something and why it happens according to this woman's journey. If you have ever turned into a fangirl over something that by all rights you shouldn't, this will be a good read for you. If you are a Cumberbitch, well, you've probably already read this. :)