I highly recommend this book as a practical guide to how to approach those with gender identity concerns. The authors provide helpful considerations and recommendations based on their years of experience in the field of psychology focused on gender and sexuality. They provide some background and critique of prevailing views both inside and outside the church. This book is especially helpful in recognizing the gulf that can occur between the very important theoretical and the equally important practical outworking. If Christians are to love all their neighbours, how does that love look? How do we love our neighbours who struggle with gender identity the best we can, with Christ’s love? This is indeed an important question! They draw on Christian practices/values/virtues such as hospitality and humility to guide their suggestions, while also urging Christians not to compromise the truth while doing so.

That said, the weakest part of the book is that the authors do not delve into theological or philosophical considerations with much depth. This is understandable, given it is outside their field. I think if this is read alongside books such as Nancy Pearcy’s book “Love Thy Body” and Carl Trueman’s “The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self”, those deficiencies would be adequately overcome. It would also be helpful to read Yarhouse’s other book on gender dysphoria “Understanding Gender Dysphoria” for further psychological background.

Going in to this book, I was a bit apprehensive. The phrase "measured Christian response" in the synopsis sounded like an attempt to justify discrimination. But I was pleasantly surprised; this is a measured, and mostly reasonable and fair-minded, look at gender identity, and it offers a valuable snapshot of the understanding of, and medical and ministerial care for, people experiencing what the authors label "emerging gender identities", but what could perhaps more accurately be described as the "emerging language of gender". It's not so much that people are experiencing gender in new ways, but that we're rapidly developing new ways to describe those experiences. Although the language in this book occasionally feels a bit dated, overall the book does a good job of explaining some of the science, and relating some of the ways counselors and church leaders have tried to respond (often in ways that have caused great damage to both the individuals affected, and the church as a whole). Although I'm not sure I agree with some of the authors suggestions, I do appreciate the honesty, generosity, and humble spirit with which they make their case.

They do offer one suggestion that I love, in discussing the words we use to describe those experiencing gender issues:

The word we are drawn to when we think of teens navigating gender identity questions is "beloved". We like this word because it has less to do with how we think about the emerging gender identity and more to do with how we think of the teen as a whole person. It reminds us of how God sees the people we minister to (regardless of the name and pronouns they use, the apparel they choose, etc.). Not only that, but it also offers an identity for the teen to live into, one that will likely inform every aspect of their life and open them up to life-giving community, meaning, and purpose.

This book was helpful as it is written in a more clinical perspective (as a comparison to Sprinkle’s “Embodied” book). The authors are both psychologists, so this is to be expected, but I think they did a great job of also including the relational aspect as well. It was very practical, and both authors espouse the traditional, biblical view of sexuality. I appreciate the calling on the church community to learn more, listen better, and work to find common ground and allow for space/questioning without having all the answers, or looking to have the quick answer of our opinions. This isn’t an easy topic, and there aren’t easy answers, but as a church we must be willing to engage, listen, and remain humble as we do so as we seek to balance grace (love) and Truth in these conversations.