Angst

My heart! This book made me cry so many times. The things that Damien went through. The authors description of trauma and trauma responses seemed very authentic to me. I liked this book more than I expected too.

This is one of those books that's something of a rough read, but in the end is so, so worth it. Young Damien is a pawn of the foster care system. He bounces from home to home, then the bad situation is made worse when he is placed with a foster carers (not parents, never parents) who don't know how to deal with a rambunctious 13-year-old, and resort to abusive behavior to keep him from upsetting their lives too much. This is so painful to read, as we see Damien taught that this is all he is worth, an afterthought, an outcast. Hope is the enemy because it only brings pain.

The story is told from Damien's point of view, and the matter-of-fact statements of his own low estimation of his worth are made all the more visceral by this. The other characters are defined through Damien's eyes. Seeing them change over the years, how the relationships with his family and friends change, and how this affects Damien are a big part of the story.

Surprisingly, the fact that the Salgados are werewolves is almost peripheral to the overall story, though it brings profound definitions of family, belonging, and spiritual balance into stark reality. Damien's matter-of-fact acceptance of werewolves is amusing, rationalizing that werewolves are good or evil as much as humans are good or evil - the definition is in their actions, not their being. His isolation is emphasized, though, as he feels that as a human, he is a friend of the pack but can never truly be a part of it.

Vivancos' writing can be straightforward, but in some of Damien's early trauma the writing is almost impressionistic, leaving the reader as unsure of reality or fantasy as Damien is. The extended passages of a college-age Damien speaking with a therapist as he strives to find personal balance are absolutely spot-on. Honestly, I recognize some approaches and techniques I've discussed with my own therapist (though for very different reasons). This really made the book personal for me, and is one of the reasons I loved it so much. The fact that the ending made me cry (in a happy way!) didn't hurt either.

I highly recommend this book. It can be a rough ride emotionally, but the journey is absolutely worth it!

Provided by Gay Romance Reviews for an honest review

This book blew me away. It torn down all my defenses and slowly built them back up again. Damien was such a precious character and one I wanted to smother in love. He is shuffled from foster carer to foster carer over the 4 years that he lost his parents and none are great to him. Especially his last home. Then he meets the Salgado’s and he starts to see how family and love works. Then some bad bad things happen and continue to happen and then Damien breaks. It is heartbreaking to read, but so well written and you are just drawn to the characters. Hakan was amazing. Absolutely adored him from the start too. And all the side characters in Damien and the pack’s lives were great. I thoroughly enjoyed this hurt/comfort friends to lovers book and would definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a wonderful read. They do get a HEA. One that is so hard fought and satisfying.

Part I was about Damien’s hard hard life from the age of 13-14. Then his repair of his life from 14-18. All about building family and trust and bonds and learning new things. Making long lasting friendships.

Part II was much easier, as Damien’s is significantly better. He still has doubts about his worth but this part is about figuring out who he is and wants to be. And then there is Hakan. So precious and kind and wonderful. Just everything.

This is a good example of how a great book can still disappoint when you have the wrong expectations. I saw this recced somewhere as an m/m romance, but while this is a very well written book, it is not a romance novel. I’d call it YA/NA that both deals with child abuse, overcoming trauma and has an original take on shifters. Yes, there is m/m content, but it really doesn’t read like a romance. I kind of had to push myself to finish it - it was good enough for me to want to do that, but it still wasn’t what I had expected and wanted to read when I picked it up. Again, though, if you are looking for the things I mentioned above, this would be a great choice.

3.75
Really lovely but too long. The alchimie between Damien and Hakan get lost when they finally got together it felt rushed for me.