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val_theburrowofstories's reviews
353 reviews
5.0
- Happy International Women’s Day! I didn’t plan to read this for this day, but I’m so glad that I did because Tara Westover is such an strong woman.
- This book was so powerful. This was Tara owning her story and telling it the way it was from HER perspective, the way she lived her life. I have so much respect for her, this was published in 2018 and I would not be surprised if she's still healing.
"You can love someone and still choose to say goodbye to them.
You can miss a person every day, and still be glad that they are no longer in your life."
-Tara Westover
- I'm genuinely surprised she didn't talk about menstruation. And I have to admit I was so scared for her when she was a child that Shawn would rape her, then I was scared he would kill her. Can we talk about how she barely looked or talked to boys and yet when Shawn said she had a "reputation" they were horrified of her being pregnant, SHE thought she was pregnant and looked at herself in the mirror... The lack of sexual education. And then when they confirmed she wasn't??? I'm scared of just thinking how they confirmed it.
- I feel so so sorry for those kids of the siblings who don't support her. but especially for the ones of Audrey and Shawn, because they are just the living image of their parents which means their childhood will be just like hers unless they run.
- She is right by mentioning that this is not about Mormonism. Maybe religion played a role in this, but her brother and parent’s evil in my opinion belonged to them, not to any Satan and of course is not the will of any God they believe in.
- I have to admit that I didn’t cry. I understand the moments that I “should’ve”, I understand why other people would’ve cried. But I’ve never lived abused so I can’t say I was reliving something, and I’ve always been the “strongest” child who didn’t cry easily because I had a “cold heart”, that’s how I view myself and maybe there’s something wrong with me too that I can’t see, but that’s the truth.
- I didn’t cry, instead I was shocked, stunned, angry, I could not believe it, it was all just so crazy. When you think of stories of more kids living like this, that’s it, they’re just stories you hear of someone else living far far away, they didn’t happen to you, you don’t read about them with more detail in a book. It’s is eye opening to finally read this story and realize “this is real, this has happened, this is still happening not only in her family but probably so many others”
- I can’t stop thinking on how powerful this book is and how more people should read it, yes it was Number 1, yes it’s acclaimed, yes it has Awards, and somehow it’s not enough. It will neve be enough.
- I want this book in my library, highlighted with tabs, with annotations written by me and other people, I want to have discussions around it, I want to check on it from time to time. I want to highlight with a pencil all the obstacles, and with colors her support system, her quotes, her growing up and changing her mind. There’s so many things to point out, so many things to discuss.
- I feel so overwhelmed by this whole book. She’s powerful, she’s brave, she’s inspiring. She got over the obstacles, she got her education. Education IS a privilege and it could be life changing for some.
- The fact that she dedicated this to her brother Tyler, because he was always nice to her, he always supported her, he is the one who kept telling her to go to college.
- This is so far away from my fantasy books, hell I WISH this was some dystopian shit, but it’s a MEMOIR and I just can’t stop thinking about it. This is not fantasy, and yet this is one of the few examples of why I must keep getting out of my comfort zone tbr every once in a while, to discover stories (fiction or not) like this one.
- I want to keep reading so many reviews now, from all the ratings. I need to read more opinions. I even want to read the thesis she presented for her PhD.
- This makes me think of the kind of parent I would be, consuming books, blogs, podcasts about parenting the second I learn I was pregnant. I almost want to study psychology just to help kids.
- I'm thankful my healthcare and education were priorities in my family. I'm thankful I was not forced into any religion. I'm thankful I was loved. I'm thankful I didn't live an abuse like this and I pray I never will, thankful that I can recognize the signs of when something is wrong and I must ask for help. I'm thankful for my family (we are not perfect, and of course I have many complains about them lol but I'm thankful for them)
- I keep thinking and thinking and thinking, and there is no denial to me. I can’t rate the same way I do my fantasy books (or any other fiction book for that matter). I can’t even compare it to other non fiction I’ve read because they are self help, and I’ve read just a couple of memoirs. So this is a very unique book to me, and as such it has to be rated for it’s own reasons. At the beginning I thought how difficult it would be to rate it, but now I think it's a 5 ⭐
Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Sexism, Toxic relationship, Violence, and Gaslighting
Moderate: Animal cruelty, Animal death, Racial slurs, Blood, Medical trauma, Car accident, Fire/Fire injury, and Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Adult/minor relationship, Cancer, Drug abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, and Alcohol
Please read the trigger warnings before reading the book (there might be spoilers here):
- Emotional abuse / Physical abuse / Child abuse: The way the mother and father (especially) raised the children had me sick, the emotional and physical abuse those kids had to endure…
- Domestic abuse / Violence: Her brother would beat her up and humiliate her.
- Gaslighting: I swear her parents were living in another reality, all the stories they got in their heads and the lies of how the world worked (the end of the world, how the government was evil and it was dangerous to go to school or the hospital)
- Racial slurs: Her brother kept calling her by the N word because when she worked with them she got her face dirty…
- Animal death / cruelty: Her brother killed his dog with a knife, who the fuck does that.
- Injury detail / Blood / Fire Injury: When she was a child she had to help her brother with his leg because there was another “job incident” with their father. And later her father is near an explosion and ends up pretty bad. Her other brother also injured his head twice.
- Mental illness: She’s convinced her father is bipolar.
- Car accident: As children they had not one but TWO car accidents. And then his brother had yet another car accident on his own.
- Sexism / Misogyny: Basically what her father and brother are. Her father treating her like shit inside the house because she was a woman and she could not even have short sleeves. I don’t know a lot of stupid ideas about women and how they should behave.
- Medical trauma: From all the injuries, accident, simply being sick and going to the hospital for the first time.
- Panic attacks: She experienced this at college.
- Cancer: One of her grandmothers had cancer and died of it.
- Adult / minor relationship / Pregnancy: Her brother was like 27 with a 17-18 yo he ends up marrying. And later she has two dangerous pregnancies.
- Drug abuse / Alcohol: Her brother, of course.
- Toxic relationship: Pretty obvious with who (her family)
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
Graphic: Cancer, Death, Misogyny, Sexism, Death of parent, Gaslighting, and Abandonment
Moderate: Homophobia, Grief, Lesbophobia, and Fire/Fire injury
Minor: Alcoholism
I’ll make a list of the trigger warnings and how they appear in the book.
- Death of parent / Grief: A bit of an spoiler, but if you wanna know,
- Abandonment: When women transform into dragons they leave to the abandonment issues these kids grow up with is crazy. And her father can go to hell.
- Sexism / Misogyny: This whole society.
- Cancer: I think her mother has breast cancer.
- Death: Sometimes dragons killed their husbands.
- Gaslighting: The way adults in society collectively agreed in silence to never speak about dragons and make children believe they didn’t exist.
- Fire injury: Obviously, there’s dragons lol
- Homophobia / Lesbophobia: Once again, her father can go to hell.
- Alcoholism: Aunt Marla married and alcoholic.
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.5
Graphic: Death, Violence, and Grief
Here’s the three main trigger warnings in my opinion, I’ll be explaining a bit of how they appear in the book without much spoiler.
- Violence: They have to fight to escape other creatures.
- Grief / Death: One of the members of the Fellowship dies in the 3/4 of the book and in the rest of the book we see how the others are grieving.
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.5
Graphic: Child death, Death, Gore, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Sexism, Violence, and Blood
Moderate: Sexual content, Suicide, Pregnancy, and Lesbophobia
Minor: Infertility, Sexual assault, and Cannibalism
Here’s a list of all the trigger warnings, I’m going to be specific about how they appear in the book and I’ll be hiding some spoilers:
Misogyny and sexism: from the very beginning that town is just full of it from both men and women, the way the town works is based on hating women.
Pedophilia: This made me so sick but yeah these men are all pedophiles and you can’t change my mind, the way they looked at the girls or talked about them was sickening.
Sexual assault: In the beginning is mentioned the story of a girl who was taken and she screamed and fought but no one helped.
Cannibalism: They fucking eat the girls parts?? When the girls leave for their grace year they’re hunted by poachers and they skin them alive and cut them in little pieces and sell them to be eaten wtf
Suicide: After the girls leave for their grace year, this girl kills herself in the river.
Death, child death, violence, gore and blood: That grace year is way more dark than I expected 😭 (the girls killed each other or cut their fingers as punishment, the poachers skin the girls alive, the girls fight, etc)
Sexual content: Some nudity and
Pregnancy:
Infertility: This is minor, but her older sister is mocked by some woman because it’s been years and she hasn’t had any baby yet.
Lesbophobia: One of the girls kissed another and she was "dirty" ever since.
Did not finish book. Stopped at 44%.
- You know what’s funny? I was doing so well on my own 12 Week Year (actually 10) plan I created after watching a couple of youtube videos, then I attempted to listen to this audiobook and I haven’t done anything from that plan for almost 2 weeks 🧍🏽♀️
- This was SO short, I started it at breakfast hoping to finish it that same day but this was so damn slow and boring, then I picked it up again after five days and I was so over it, every sentence felt like an eternity.
- I truly dislike non fiction books lol I went through my TBR again after DNFing this and deleted some.
- The thing that truly made me DNF this is the fact that I was not retaining a single thing from the information here, and I do have a good memory! I could recall an entire book I read years ago but I can’t tell you a single lesson from this even when I was actively reading this lol
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
"Out there you safe lives, in here you safe souls"
Graphic: Death, Grief, and War
Minor: Death of parent
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
How did they even fall for each other I just don’t understand. They were together for 3 months when they were 19 and all they did was had sex and then a horrible break up, and for 9 years I think they idolize each other and are “in love” with the image they have in their minds of each other because now all they do is have sex and they don’t have even ONE meaningful conversation in the whole book, that’s what bothers me the most maybe, because okay I can take the smut, but where’s the connection, the conversations, the getting to know each other again as adults? Lost, just as their personalities.
Graphic: Sexual content
Minor: Death of parent and Alcohol
Here are the main content warnings I added:
- Sexual content: They’re horny 24/7.
- Alcohol: In the prologue she was drinking after the break up.
- Death of parent: In the prologue we learn Vivi’s mother died.
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.5
Graphic: Death, Violence, and War
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.0
I’m just not one of those people who connected with this or want to over think / over analyze this book, I swear some reviews feel longer than this book lmao
I felt so sorry for this little girl, I wish she could’ve stayed with the foster couple, but at least she has learned new things in life she will never forget and it will be useful for her to survive with her family.
Overall I liked this book , it was fine, and is 3 ⭐ for me, but I’ve realized with this that short literary fiction is not my thing and I’m okay with going through life without reading this kind of books.
Moderate: Grief
Minor: Child death and Pregnancy
I’m going to explain how the content warnings were present in the book (and some might be spoilers):
- Grief / Child death:
- Pregnancy: The little girl’s mom is pregnant, which is the reason why she was sent away in the first place.
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
It’s such a short story and yet the pace of the story was a little bit slow, but I listened to this as an audiobook so it helped because the narrator does such a good job.
I did not read the synopsis of this book before starting it (I added it to my TBR a year ago so I didn’t remember) and I did not expect to find fantasy and magic with demons and angels, but I liked that aspect of the book!
Graphic: Death, Blood, and Murder
Minor: Grief, Car accident, and Death of parent
I don’t think these are spoilers because they’re mentioned in the first couple of chapters:
- Blood / Murder / Death: There’s a serial killer out there killing people and leaving the crime scene full of blood.
- Car accident / Death of parent / Grief: Helen’s parents die in a car accident.