v1rgo's reviews
328 reviews

juliette: marshall's meditating
roma: he's dead

i mean this was a smooth brained moment i don't know what to say. it was very funny. i can't really take this super seriously bc it was outrageously horny. kind of made me gag at some points but i don't want to slutshame nineteen year olds. (but on a side note i didn't get all of the pining. it's like u guys were 15 when this happened yk like u were babies. like juliette's whole oh he's as handsome as he used to be.. thing doesn't make sense. "he looks older?" sure! but like.. ?? u had a thing w this dude four years ago. ) the writing was pretty and fun you know how it is but some things did make me go hm. like juliette allegedly having "a damp feeling on her neck".  like i don't really want to know what that means. or just. the fact that they were about to fuck on some bed that was probably caked with like thousands of people's children. aside from the nauseating level of hormones they didn't really feel like teenagers. marshall does slay though. kind of a knockoff of the whole wesper dynamic but i'll take it. i hope kathleen likes girls. someone should like girls in this bc SOMEONE lied to me and said the mcs were bi. i dunno just a fun little read unsure what to say. or even how to rate because it's exam week and i wasn't paying attention. i guess on a larger level i was sorta wondering what the differences in personalities were between roma and juliette and also on a more superficial level it does kinda make me cringe when _ inspired tellings like insist on using the same names. also i just didn't super think any characters were acc like well.. not flat but. 

yassified and depressionpilled

read for a book club. excuse the length of this review; i'm going to get all of my thoughts out here so that i don't have to wait until discussion to wipe this from my mind.

 well fuck this was absurdly dull. i just have a lot of questions. i was going to go easy on this, but this isn't even the author's first book, and all they write is true crime type thrillers, which makes sense because this was absurdly coppy. i don't really get why it's ya first of all; i think if the characters were older it'd make a lot more sense and be a lot more believable. like even things as small as veronica apparently being a film buff and her favorite film being PULP FICTION were so stupid! like.. a queer girl of color's favorite film is PULP FICTION? like how is it that that was the piece of media mentioned the most. does this girl have a non art hobby?? and like call me a bitch but. it didn't seem realistic that these teenagers were this obsessed with art! i mean well they're teenagers first of all but. it's clear the author didn't do research so whenever they talked ab it it sounded like bullshit. like provide backstory!! i dunno maybe veronica's mom taught her about art and that's how she became obsessed w photography! elaboration on things that small would've helped soo much. if this had fantasy elements like i dunno bunny or something and was thus less true crime and more tongue in cheek i would've enjoyed it a lot more. 

i think this book being more fleshed out would've helped it in other respects too. like this was just a very badly written thriller, which is fine, but don't say it's exploring the intersections of love and power or whatever bullshit. like call it what it is, you know? i think the beginning had a lot of potential, if it was more fleshed out in regards to characterization so it could actually well.. showed the characters' emotions rather than tell them that would've helped a shit ton. but then it spiraled off into some like pretty little liars midseason finale once it got bad. and that instagram picture going viral with that drab caption was literally something that would've happened in emily in paris. (which yes, i watched and enjoyed WAY more than this. and i did not like that show!!!)

honestly this feels like a first draft. very stilted. i remember at one part the author said masochistic when they meant sadistic. things that simple. did no one catch that during review? or things like mick calling veronica's house spanish style. what the fuck does that mean?? how would she know what that means? also, thematically speaking, i wish class was bigger. like. it SHOULD'VE been; these kids are going around and making protest art pieces; how do none of them mention politics at any point. like.. what?? what is inspiring all of this then??? but well, again, this is a cop book, lol. the only part they acc mentioned class was when

nico was doing his monologue about how he went around murdering people because he was jealous that veronica was rich. also there is no fucking way some nineteen year old boy would be able to do all of this.

also i don't mind when protagonists are unlikeable but i do mind when the author acts like that greyness is just not there by having it so that the narrative does not critique it at all thru other characters, the plot, or the person themself. veronica was straight up a cunt! also sort of creepy. i do not care that she was seventeen; i will call her a cunt. like when she mentioned joking about nico being a starving artist because he was super poor and used to eat a ton when he came to her house because her mom's rich

i was seeing why he went batshit

. how classist. ughhh. kind of obvious, but i do not understand why they were friends. i assume they were meant to, but nico's little quips did nothing to show why they were. i mean mick was unlikeable too but honestly let's be real she had no identifiable personality so should i like bother talking about that lmfao? i mean at the beginning when she was talking ab her boobs i was kinda wondering if she had dysmorphia so i'm going to pretend she's nonbinary. aside from that this book means nothing to me. easily the worst thing i've read this year. not to mention nico's lack of personality.

but maybe that was so he could easily be written as a boogeyman. even then, 'written' is pushing it i feel. like, that part where he DRESSED UP AS AN OLD MAN TO GET VERONICA IN THAT UBER and then took off his disguise and fucking cackled or whatever was SO riverdale. jesus fuck. and again! he isn't sneaking into ppl's houses and shit he's a nineteen year old boy who has no money no nineteen year old boy is that smart LOL.

umm okay other thoughts i guess:
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at the end, mick being like nah babe u can take pictures of me ugh i was being soo dumb was such bullshit. like veronica violated her privacy and mick clearly has anxiety ab it. i assume it's bc of her mother. she seems to have some insecurity around her appearance as well, which i assume came from her mom too, but i guess i don't fucking know bc the author didn't say anything about it and was too busy getting these kids to fucking fall off cliffs or whatever.

- the ending sentences were so stupid. i guess they were supposed to be powerful, but they weren't!

i mean it's not like we ever understood why nico was so obsessed with mick.

- inspired by the picture of dorian gray my ass!! i hope this terrible book at least got that piece of shit oscar wilde to punch some air in his grave. 
- i feel like a white person wrote this but i don't care enough to check. cops are not competent irl and i'm so sick of these copy paste thrillers acting like they r

.25 off because the fall was a bit contrived 😭. if austen didn't like die when she did she would've revised this a bit more n some more kinks would've for sure been ironed out. anyways i cannot in good conscience rate this less than a 4.75. she gets a higher rating for dying. God this is the best book i've read in my life. I want to do a fucking backflip. who is doing it like jane austen. it's just. SO incredible.
i just don't know what to say i have thoughts obviously but they have all been expounded upon before in better terms than i ever could. but i do want to scream my head off. maybe i will come back and elaborate. i dunno
even the TITLE makes you think so much. it's not just about being persuaded by societal pressures related to classism or sexism, but about being persuaded by your own self-doubt, judgement, or familial pressure. aside from this, so much of the novel is about the mistrust captain wentworth has, but how anne's love for him PERSUADES him that she still does love him!! ultimately, to me, it's about suffocation and breaking free from that suffocation, but it's still pragmatic in this sense. this is definitely my favorite austen novel; it's such a shame that she passed away when she did because it's so intriguing. i definitely will read this over and over again like i read little women over and over again when i was a kid. also dakota johnson is going to hell for being the reason the sarah snook adaptation got cancelled. no one is going to watch that!! 

well that was stupid. i don't know why i thought this would add something when i hated the last two books 😭 i guess it's nice to see a wife guy. but is an eighteen year old boy truly a wife guy? also hot take maybe some of these things could've been in the ACTUAL books? . Anyways that was pointless i am not reading ya for a long time now

babygirl i could be your pathetic boyfriend (this is not about jude dw just a call to the void).

ehhh idk. i still think this was sorta a speedrun characterization wise. kind of mad. i know those seventeen year olds on tumblr must've written a lot of fanfiction for this one. sure the ending was cute but it was a bit much. i liked the characters. i think this is one of those dumb cases where u like the characters but don't like the book. it's kinda meh idrk. it felt so rushed!!  not even exclusively character wise... like for a series that was supposed to be about politics this was SO rushed!!! u could get more political intrigue from some hamilton fanfiction some 13 year old wrote on wattpad!!! and some parts that were meant to be serious made me laugh way too hard. maybe i am a bitch but also i'm only 21 like theoretically i could've been reading this three years ago n have been in the age group for it. so mayb i have a right to critique it. i just. i mean. i GUESS lol. meh. i kind of feel like i had a ton of junk food but like the book version. like i am sort of regretting this because it kind of sucked lol. again wish i just stopped after the first book. this just annoyed me a bit and i was fairly tipsy while reading too!!

the pacing was sooo bad but this series is SO funny. not a fan of the whole horny ya thing. but oh well that's just me and this was written for teenagers. i also think cardan's character development after [redacted] was too sudden esp when u contrast it with how jude is. like she has not developed at all unless u count like. The plot further traumatizing her. also what happened to her at [redacted] was SA and i'm not a fan of that being brushed over. even if u look at the tws on here it's not mentioned. like that's so fucked. theoretically ik that is just how the books mayb r or her character bc she for sure has ptsd but i think that's a dumb excuse. like how is it that u devote more time to like the angstyness than THAT??? and there's no way jude hasn't realized that cardan ultimately is not very smart and just is into her. it's just typical ya angst ik but it's not done well. i thought their dynamic was going in a more original direction but i dunno if it is. n i think she sounded like a teenager more in the last one. like she's 18 max now. it's just not realistic. the part that was talking about cardan having catgirls on his wall was funny. also the very vague reference to yuri on ice. can't tell whether i'm a hater or just a lesbian and just like the romance bc i think it's funny but i think i preferred the first book

was trying my hardest to finish this but it was so repetitive!! i liked it just wish she wasn't running over and over again in the same circles :/ 

this was okay but patience's second part was so different from her first that it was jarring. ik her voice was probably made to be different bc she'd started teaching, but it still didn't make a lot of sense. the writing was very tender in some places tho. v quotable lmfao. don't regret reading this bc of that and because of the general historical significance but. 
i guess i might as well put a part i highlighted here:
"I began to wonder if what made men walk so lordlike and speak so masterfully is having the love of women. If that was it, Sarah and I would make lords of each other."
also i think it's SO funny that this novel like partially came into being because the author and her wife like felt them through a ouija board. like that's such a lesbian way to get inspiration for a book LMFAOO

some parts of this were good but overall it just felt like it was missing a lot. i try to not let my opinion of someone influence how i rate a memoir, but in this case, it was so hard not to do because the author just felt so unaware of herself as a person in the world. not as a person, just as someone who connects with other people (if it's in a non-romantic way). i've heard about the lena dunham memoir (unfortunately!) n it reminded me of this bc ppl also said this ab that one. the fact that only like a few things were explored also made a few essays super redundant. maybe she should've waited a few more years to write this one. i don't know. 

anyways, i just sort of read this because i remember on stan twitter when i was a teenager you'd retweet a bunch of tweets from this account and spam your tl to signal how sad you were so people would DM you. and this account always made me cringe lol. i've had it muted for years.

in interviews, i've seen people ask her about the whole internet incorporation in her writing and paint it as something super original when... it. kind of isn't. i mean this in the sense of, this is just how anyone who uses the internet talks. the way she uses internet lingo isn't especially unique. me and my friends were doing similar stuff, but we were too young to write books. or to be taken seriously. she's a good writer, but i just don't think that that internet incorporation is especially unique. if you write and are active on the internet, that's how you are. 

and this is just annoying but i hate how often she said p*ssy (censoring bc idk if storygraph lets u swear). it's like she just found out that word existed yesterday. so weird. sky ferreira should release that new album instead of promoing this lady. maybe this woman's fiction is better; i don't know. 

also i was Not a fan of that one rape joke and the weird fatphobia and the i'm white and feel bad woe is me thing but also casually mentioning your cleaning lady (so she grew up RICH) but like never examining that. if you're going to write a memoir, you have to be willing to dig deep into everything, not just one part of your life i feel. this was disappointing. i thought it would be a bit more insightful but whatever.