studiomikarts's reviews
88 reviews

Having just finished Terri Cole's Boundary Boss, I can confidently say this book is a game-changer for anyone looking to establish healthier boundaries and cultivate a more empowered life. My journey with this book began serendipitously with a used copy found at Half Price Books, fueled by my counselor's recent suggestion to focus on boundaries. Little did I know the profound impact this read would have. I can honestly and emphatically say it has been life-changing.

From the very beginning, Boundary Boss resonated deeply. Cole's concept of moving from a "modus operandi (MO) of doing to an MO of being" immediately struck a chord, echoing the increasingly prevalent sentiment, in my consciousness, of prioritizing existence over activity. The "Zen Den" idea was also incredibly aligned with my existing space for meditation, reading, study, and writing, for which I was always seeking a concise and apt name—which I now have!

One of the book's greatest strengths lies in its ability to identify and articulate complex emotional patterns. The term "high-functioning codependent" (HFC) felt like a revelation, perfectly describing my tendency to automatically absorb others' problems and compulsively seek to fix them. Cole's exploration of the roots of this behavior, including the impact of being parentified in childhood, provided valuable context and understanding, particularly for someone already familiar with the concept through work on CPTSD. The distinction between consciously choosing who, when, and how much to help versus compulsively trying to completely solve everyone's problems every time was eye-opening.

The book delves into the societal pressures and personal experiences that contribute to boundary issues. The discussion of "emotional labor" was particularly mind-blowing, finally providing a name for something I was already becoming conscious of recently, but had no easy way of describing. Recognizing this dynamic in both my personal and professional life has been incredibly empowering, offering a concrete framework for taking control and reducing chronic stress.

Cole emphasizes that "at the heart of personal boundaries is the courage to tell the truth." She also sheds light on the concept of "secondary gain," the often unconscious benefits we receive from maintaining unhealthy patterns. Understanding such underlying motivations is crucial for breaking free and embracing positive change. The exploration of "shadow addictions" as numbing mechanisms (until last year, for me it was shopping!) further highlighted the importance of confronting painful truths rather than seeking temporary distractions.

The exercises provided throughout the book are not mere suggestions; they are powerful tools for self-discovery and transformation, and absolutely essential to becoming a Boundary Boss. Working through them, I experienced breakthroughs that made me feel like a caterpillar who was finally emerging as a butterfly 🦋✨ These activities even helped me finally understand and quell my long-standing, mysterious, and seemingly incurable stress reaction of injurious cheek-gnawing.

Boundary Boss doesn't just focus on setting boundaries; it also emphasizes the importance of respecting the boundaries of others. The idea that "being able to receive and respect another person's no is as vital to your Boundary Boss status as owning your own no" is a crucial reminder of the reciprocal nature of healthy boundaries.

The book's message is one of empowerment and self-respect. It encourages you to "value your actual feelings more than your concern about how others will respond to any limits you set." Cole's guidance on navigating the potential resistance of others, emphasizing that their reactions are "their side of the street," is incredibly liberating. The advice on providing context when setting boundaries without over-explaining or defending oneself is practical and effective.

Perhaps the most impactful aspect of reading Boundary Boss was the immediate application of its principles in my own life. Inspired by the book's assertion that there's no statute of limitations on past grievances, I finally addressed a long-standing issue in a relationship, setting clear boundaries and prioritizing my own needs. The feeling of relief and empowerment that followed was truly awesome!

Terri Cole's Boundary Boss is more than just a self-help book; it's a guide to reclaiming your power and living a more authentic, joyful life. Whether you're new to the concept of boundaries or looking to refine your existing skills, this book offers invaluable insights, practical exercises, and a compassionate approach that will leave you feeling ready to take charge of your own well-being. I wholeheartedly recommend Boundary Boss to anyone seeking to establish healthy limits, prioritize their own needs, and ultimately become the boss of their own life.

Another fantastic entry in this series! I loved it! I laughed out loud so many times, especially at the cat vignettes that are just so on-point they actually took me by surprise. To think that I'm not the only one to gently squeeze my cats' ears up into a rabbit shape 😂 The development of the human characters was charming as well; I loved the dynamic between Kanda and Kanade. I can't believe they left us on a cliffhanger, though! Good thing I have volume 5 already!!

Onto volume 3 and this series remains absolutely brilliant. The glimpses into everyday life with a cat are spot-on. It goes into things only real cat lovers would recognize! The emotional power of this volume was equal to the previous two, as well. I laughed out loud multiple times, and I had to hold back tears just as often. The slow unraveling of Kanda's history, and the addition of new developments in his present, is so delicately done. I can't wait to read more! I also REALLY appreciated the manga's portrayal of the cat characters' experiences of having their babies taken away or being completely abandoned by their human family. I've never seen an animal manga so blatantly and effectively show the sorrow and confusion they must feel when we humans treat them like objects. Brilliantly done 👏

This was my first time experiencing The Silmarillion, and thanks to Andy Serkis' expert narration, I was hooked from the beginning! I was inspired by the opening insights from the editor into the book's creation; it really got me excited to continue working on my own stories!

I loved learning the origins of the dwarves and the ents, and little details like why orcs can't stand sunlight. But it was challenging to keep all the names of people and places straight, especially in the opening chapters. The first half of the book was really tough, but then it started to pay off! Starting with the story of Beren and Lúthien, things became epic and awesome!

This book also gave me a whole new perspective on the elves. In The Lord of the Rings, they're like perfect angels, lofty and near-omnipotent, but here we see they're just as hot-headed and foolhardy as any other race, which makes them rather hypocritical in their looking down upon dwarves, men, and hobbits.

Finishing the main part of The Silmarillion was so satisfying.

I loved how each Silmaril ended up in a natural place: the sky, the sea, and the Earth's core. Very fable-like.

And there was still so much interesting content after that which helped tie the book very closely to the main series. All in all, I really enjoyed this experience and I'm so glad I finally gave it a try!

I received a signed copy of this book as part of a VIP The Princess Bride experience (I got to shake hands with Cary Elwes!). Sometimes such items are only valuable as a memento and not inherently, but not this time. This book is really good! Easy to read, entertaining, enlightening, and funny! Not only that, it has so much to share about filmmaking in general. It shares the perfect amount so as to be engrossing but not overwhelming. I enjoyed reading every page and highly recommend this book to anyone who loves The Princess Bride!

This was my first time reading the second book in the Earthsea series. At first I was put off by how much worse the animal exploitation was (lots of religious animal sacrifice on top of the use of their body parts for other purposes already established in the previous book) but it was soon shown that humans were also being cruelly used by this society. The writing was just as good as the last book, so that made it easy to keep reading despite the upsetting material. Indeed, it became my theory that the animal exploitation was purposefully increased in order to create a harsh world for our protagonist to inhabit.

Once Arha and Ged finally met was the point where I actually began enjoy the book.

Until then, it was just the good writing and fast pace that kept me from giving up. Toward the end, I realized that my experience reading Ursula K. Le Guin's fantasy writing after being so disappointed in Diana Wynne Jones' feels just like when I read Alexandre Dumas after being disappointed in Victor Hugo. After being let down by a popular writer, reading a similar writer who lives up to their reputation is heartening. With this book, it eventually got so good that I couldn't help reading a chapter or two at a time, even when it made me late for whatever else I was supposed to be doing. Some elements I particularly enjoyed were reading a story from the point of view of the enemies from the previous book, seeing the environment I actually live in (sagebrush steppe) immortalized in a fantasy world, and getting a sort of behind-the-scenes look at the genesis of the Earthsea series in this edition's afterword. I didn't think I'd feel this way when I was reading the first chapters, but now that I've finished, I'd definitely read this book again. Here's a line I particularly loved, to end this review:

Finally, a new-to-me fantasy book that didn't disappoint! Recently I'd been on a losing streak with my fantasy picks, whether they were older and highly recommended (like the works of Diana Wynne Jones) or brand-new gambles that I'd never heard of. This series is one that's been on my radar since the Studio Ghibli adaptation, but as that film didn't have the best reception, I was skeptical of the source material (especially combined with the unrelated disappointments in my other book choices). I finally gave this book a shot after my sister highly recommended it to me. I will definitely continue to trust her opinion, as this ended up being the exact sort of book that I love!

Here are some passages that really touched me:

I did have a few gripes, like the absence of female protagonists (there literally are none, only supporting characters, and only three that I can recall, out of a supporting cast many times that number) and the strange way that the narrator switched from show to tell relatively often (though that did increase the story's pace significantly). The biggest negative was the rampant animal exploitation. It's not pleasant at all to read about seal skin, and fur coats, and dried fish, and just imagining all the death and horror these animals faced, in a story that uses their suffering only as the world's seasoning.

The negatives were still not enough to take away any stars from my rating nor to prevent me from picking up the next novel, however. I'm looking forward to seeing what tale it has to tell!

There were lots of tasty recipes in this book that I enjoyed, including All-Purpose Gravy, Quick Buttered Peas, and Quick Green Bean Casserole, but my favorite was the Braised Red Potatoes. I've now made that one countless times since I first tried it. I love it so much that, since I have decided to remove this cookbook from my library, I'm going to write down the recipe in my personal cookbook so I can keep making it 🤤 The reason I've decided to part with this book is two-fold. First, although the subtitle only mentions plant ingredients, it is not a plant-based (and most certainly not a vegan) cookbook. Most of the recipes are easily veganized but I have plenty of actual vegan cookbooks where I don't have to engage in such mental gymnastics. The other reason is that, in typical America's Test Kitchen fashion, their "quick" and "easy" recipes very often take hours of exhausting work. For instance, the Quick Green Bean Casserole took two hours to make 🤯 When you include additional time to actually serve up, eat, and clean up after, that's a 3+ hour meal. Maybe if you're a professional chef, you can whip it up faster, but for the busy home cook that America's Test Kitchen claims to serve, it's out of touch, to say the least, to claim such recipes are ideal for a weeknight dinner.

This was my second reading of this book. I orginally purchased it new, for a steeply discounted $6, at Powell's Books in Portland, Oregon in 2015. I first read it over the next year or so after purchasing, which sets this latest reading almost a decade later. I remembered enjoying this book the first time, but it had been so long that I forgot most of the contents, which gave me the pleasant experience of reading something new.

There are so many aspects to enjoy about The Legend of Sigurd & Gudrún. The core subject, J.R.R. Tolkien's poetic versions of some well-known ancient Norse stories is gripping. It takes a bit to get into the Eddaic rhythm, but once it clicks, it's hard to stop reading. The story itself is very dark and gruesome. Virtually every character engages in vile behavior, and the very few innocents face horrific ends. And yet it remains a gripping page-turner.

The academic writing of J.R.R. Tolkien and the well-researched annotations (and thoughtful editorial decisions) of Christopher Tolkien make for a whole other reason to read this. Not only do we get a glimpse into J.R.R. Tolkien's academic work and some origins for elements of his Middle-earth stories, we learn about Old English, Old Norse, and other languages, as well as the history, writing, and folklore of the regions, and even the history of the study of those subjects! Wow!

If you're interested in reading some non-Middle-earth and yet clearly related writing by J.R.R. Tolkien, if you're interested in learning more about the author in general, if you want to learn more about ancient Norse and English stories, or you just want to read a cool poem full of treasure, dragons, dwarves, magic, war, and revenge in an ancient European setting, I recommend this book!

I went into this book with high hopes but they quickly disintegrated as I realized it was chock-full of half-baked pseudoscience. It seems like the original science is believable but what has been built on top of it is ridiculous, the blind efforts of a group of people who take a single study and treat it like gospel, instead of taking a healthy scientific and skeptic approach. The greatest evidence of this is in the fact that one of the core tenants is to juice your fruits and vegetables in order to remove the fiber (and who knows how many other micronutrients that are attached to it) but then to engage in weekly (or more often!) enemas to cleanse your system. I am only an armchair nutritionist, but even I can see the irony in these actions. How about keeping that fiber intact, and eating it, so that you don't need to enema at all??? There were a few diamonds in the rough, mostly in the recipes section. The apple crumble and banana nice cream recipes seemed the best ones; very easy and yummy looking. But they were peppered with nonsense talk about flushing cellular toxins or cleansing your organs. And detoxifying the liver? Detoxifying is literally the liver's job! Ridiculous. Anyway, I am sad to say I cannot award this book a single star, despite the goal setting section actually having a few nuggets that I felt 100% on board with and the nice glossary of resources at the end, including plenty of documentaries, books, doctors, etc. that I do truly believe in. The few good aspects only make me more sorry that I cannot recommend this book to anyone.