mjenae's reviews
245 reviews

This is the most awful book.
But I can't say I wasn't warned.
Half of this star rating is for the "he kept reading the same sentence over and over" paragraph. No matter how badly the story ended I do have to admit Daniel Handler is a genius writer—and I really do love that pen name. Lemony Snicket. Say it. It's truly delightful.

And, of course, I lost access to the audiobook.
Thankfully, I won't have to be held in suspense as I have read this story multiple times before. As it is one of my favorite children's classics (and this narrator does the accents fabulously), consider this a 5⭐ review.

What an insane and yet totally airtight plot.

Was that the story or the icecream I was eating that made me shiver? I guess we'll never know.
Gordon Korman is one of the only authors I know who can write a better sequel than the original. I do not understand how a mind can create a plot like this. Completely insane and yet entirely void of plot holes—you never know what's coming next. (Really, I tried to guess and got it completely wrong.) I really am amazed by this.
Also, it made me cry. So extra points.

It took me a little bit to get into

, but when the video computer virus went out and Jax started getting the avalanche of PIP blowbacks, I was riveted

. I loved the climax. One of Korman's most original works, reminiscent of The Masterminds. I'm excited for the rest of the series.

Ravingly good. I'm still smiling from finishing it, because honestly.
I loved Hazel and her friends (wonderfully written characters), but my favorite part was probably the atmosphere—I mean, just look at that cover. Very British. The story takes place in an all-girls boarding school. Daisy, the second main character, is quite posh and a little snobby and a tiny bit manipulate (although she has great character development throughout, which I loved). There's lots of British vocabulary, and lacrosse and "Etiquette" and a fancy tea shop called Willow Tea Rooms. It's very autumnal, too. Stormy November days, leaves in the spokes of a car wheel, sneaking around in dark tunnels, seances at midnight. And, of course, the murder mystery.
And it's a 5 star mystery. I'm usually able to solve these things in a middle grade story, or at least have a good hunch, but I was completely in the dark with this one. It was such fun trying to follow the clues but still be dumbfounded in the end. And the author didn't do anything silly, like making it all be a lie or giving it a super anticlimactic "you're just kids so you don't understand" ending. It was an honest-to-goodness murder, and they were honest-to-goodness pretty swell detectives.
I couldn't find a thing wrong with it. Definitely one of my favorite middle grade books of all time. I see lots of recommending in the future.

I learned. A lot. John MacArthur's work is very intriguing, especially for those interested in learning more about the context of each story. My favorite parts were the introduction (every Christian woman should read it), the exploration of Sarah's character (man, she was a mess), and the Mary Magdalene chapter, especially the rundown of demonic possession in those days. Would definitely recommend to anyone looking to learn about Biblical stories from a historical aspect—MacArthur is very facts-based.

So...
My mouth hung open for a good 15 seconds (I exaggerate not) after I closed the book. Then, when I finally regained composure, I just kept whispering, "What? Okay, but like... what?"
MR. CHARLES MARTIN SINCE WHEN DO YOU DO CLIFF-HANGERS.
Anyway. [*clears throat]
The actual review.

Plot: 3 stars. There wasn’t any, until the end, where there was a very rushed one.

Characters: 4 stars. The girls seem like carbon copies of each other in some places, but he did take care to give each of the main characters unique personality traits.

Suspense: 5 STARS. Gracious.

Relatability: So I can’t star rate this, because it’s gonna be different for every reader, but the gist of it was “white middle-aged male contemplating the loss of his former wife, saving the day, fumbling his way through a new relationship, saving another day, and just in general being confused by the ‘female race’ as he loves to call us.” So no. Not very relatable.

Emotional: Once again, personal opinion, but 5 stars definitely. I cried more on this one than the previous, but probably all in the last 50 pages.

Enjoyability: 5 stars. Because, guys, it was great. I didn’t enjoy the violence and injury detail toward the end, but I pushed through it because what came with it—well, it kept me up two hours late last night. I do think it’s kind of funny how much care Mr. Martin took to make this guy a macho dude with no understanding of female mysteries (which is not very convincing, as he devotes his life to saving girls and then intuitively giving them what they need emotionally), and how he kind of is the typical “knight in shining armor,” but I’m not mad about it. I’m actually kind of jealous of some of the girls—mainly Ellie. I want to be her. Except I don’t, because she literally roasts her marshmallow by sticking it straight into the flames and catching it on fire. A little intense for me.

I already knew the story, and many retellings, but I don't know if I've ever actually read the original. It's funnier than I expected—little dry witicisms scattered throughout. Oh, and the narrator for this edition is perfect. Deep British accents are always good for a mysterious atmosphere.