clovetra's reviews
208 reviews

i’m sitting here cackling because what in the actual fuck did i just read. i’m crying from laughter right here. does that say something deeper about my psyche at the moment? probably. was this incredibly silly goofy? yes!!!!!

my only real gripe is this is solely related to one of my triggers. now i’m fine with gore in my horror. hell i’ll watch horror movies with gore. but you bring bugs into My Horror??????? ohh i lose my mind. bugs have always been an insane trigger for me. i am always afraid bugs are in my ears. i was told once that biting your nails gives you pinworms and as a girlie with dermatillomania i had a panic attack over that thought. once i woke up in my bed to an earwig next to me and now i am always paranoid ill wake up and an earwig is in my bed. needless to say, a bitch doesn’t like bugs!!!!! so i’ll say this book really did have me!!!!! 

i don’t know what you’d call this book but it wasn’t really… horror? idk i’d say it’s more like psychological thriller. but also i realise im incredibly desensitised to weird shit so. 

i wish there was more time to expand on the fucked up relationship between these two but also this is a novella so. i’m not mad.

the ending is lowkey kinda funny? not funny haha funny goofy. i liked the way the ending brought us all the way to the beginning as well. nice little tie in.

i feel like im going to be severely judged for actually saying i had a good time. i cant say i enjoyed myself but lowkey i don’t think that’s the point. i had a good time. i felt like agnes reading this — enjoying it but not really but kind of but hating it but loving it. yeah. this isn’t a book ur meant to love. it’s so fuckjng insane. but i liked it! i’m not mad at it! i can also understand why everyone i know of either thinks this is mediocre or horrible! i am in the minority! long live the apple peeler and finneas! 

I WANT TO VOMIT THAT WAS SO SWEET. also im on the verge of fucking bawling. i’m literally shaking trying to stop the tears thanks pristiq 🥹👍

i think this book really hit me hard for three main reasons;

i had a beautiful time reading this. reading about lan and vivi’s blossoming romance was so sweet, mixed with their sight seeing UGH IT WAS SO CUTE. god this was such a lighthearted read which i needed!!!! the children yearn for soft sapphic romances!!!!

i think the only thing holding this book back from 5-stars for me is the pacing. this shit went by WAYYYY too fast. which yeah i mean that can be because their romance was fast but….. idk i felt like some plot points weren’t fleshed out enough, and for the length of this book either some plot points needed to be chopped or the book length extended or…. man idk i am not a writer. but like idk lan’s revelation surrounding her father’s death, or vivi’s feelings towards her mother all being fully fleshed out and resolved in one chapter meant it happened way too fast and was a bit jarring. the speed at which things happened emotionally for characters kind of threw me out of the book? like yes the fast-paced nature worked for sight-seeing, but for the character’s growth it felt too fast. i still fell in love with the characters, but i don’t know if i can get over just how… rushed this book felt at points.

anyways im really craving some banh mi rn catch me placing a cheeky ubereats order at 11:30pm 😋😋

how fitting for miss alaska’s memoir to be my 69th read of 2024. and i didn’t expect to enjoy it so much.

usually im not a raving fan of memoirs but genuinely this is a must-read, especially if you’re a fan of drag race.

i think the best part of this memoir was easily the parts following alaska & sharon’s relationship. 

now i hate to focus a review of a memoir based on the relationships within, but much like in the dream house, the abuse *is* central to the memoir. most drag race fans are aware that sharon is not a great person, but this really goes into sharon’s depravity. from the reasons why she auditioned for drag race to her manipulative tendencies, to me this book really gives credence to any allegation laid against sharon. if you’re still a sharon fan after reading this book….. CHOP. alaska’s quote “Sharon owned me” really summarises their entire relationship in one word.

however, as much as this memoir follows sharon, alaska is the star of the show. her witty writing style combined with her focusing on the nitty-gritty of her life was very intriguing to follow. i’m thankful in a way that alaska didn’t spend endless chapters following s5 & as2 because we all know those stories. what we didn’t know is how alaska came to rise in pittsburgh, how she met sharon, her downward spiral into a life of drugs & alcohol, and where alaska is post-as2. ive only read one drag race queen’s memoir prior to this, so (no shade to lawrence chaney) i wasn’t expecting a magnum opus - i was expecting an entertaining story, and nothing more. what i didn’t expect was an incredibly harrowing story that goes in depth about the black hole of negativity that is sharon needles.

i will say the only thing holding this memoir back is its length. for how much alaska has done in her life so far compared to the length of this book, it felt like everything breezed past too fast. i wish we spent more time on alaska herself rather than sharon, although i know sharon was an integral part of alaska’s drag career. 

but hey at least now when i listen to ‘the T’ i know the backstory to all the lyrics!

etaf rum has done it again. god she’s such an amazing storyteller.

if i was the type of reader to give half stars, this would 100% be a 4.5/5. alas i am too anal about my storygraph & goodreads ratings matching so here we are.

i’ll say the only real “downside” i found with this novel is from purely an enjoyment stance, yara becomes very repetitive in her dialogue, sometimes making this book feel like im just reading the same chapter over and over again. i understand it is likely a commentary on the generational trauma yara is experiencing, and the fact she literally points out many times how she feels like she is going in a circle and needs to break the cycle in her family. purely as a reader, it does become tiring and frustrating, but honestly im not too mad at it as i understand the reasons thematically for it. the book at times also felt slightly devoid of anything beyond yara. yes i know she’s the protag but literally i know nothing about her kids. yet again another commentary on how yara is in her head so much she literally cannot define her children’s personalities but as a reader i wanted more! 

i really enjoyed rum’s depiction of mental illness in this book. it felt very realistic, and having read rum’s previous book, i was worried we would get another incredibly depressing ending, so im thankful that in some form things were looking up for yara. this book really did feel like an extension of themes introduced in ‘a woman is no man’ in the best way, where instead of just making the author feel the depths of despair with a downer ending, i like that in this story yara is beginning to break free from her traumas one step at a time. i also thoroughly adored her character development. honestly this book felt like it rectified everything “missing” within ‘a woman is no man’, and even then that book was absolute fire. and so was this.

the ending was quite cute too, and i’m very pleased this book didn’t give in to letting the protagonist suffer a tragic fate, and instead let her grow beyond what is expected of her. 

XIRAN JAY ZHAO THE GENIUS YOU ARE. 

i have no clue why i didn’t read this earlier but boy did i love this book!!!!!!

disabled rep in the form of both zetian & shimin? check. feminine rage? check. great dialogue? check. world building that makes sense? check. a love triangle that doesn’t feel forced and is resolved in an interesting way? check. loveable anti-hero as a protag? check. grungy elements that make this YA book feel like it’s pushing the boundaries of YA fantasy? check. check check checkkkkkkk

god i loved zetian. honestly she’s up there as one of my fav protags from literature. i always love a female protagonist who pushes against society’s rules and transcends beyond what is expected of her. plus she felt so rational, and i love that her character development wasn’t focused on her letting go of her rage!!!!! let women be angry and murder lots of men (in fictional books)!!!!!! i really enjoyed the plot and all its progressions and developments. the action scenes felt so real, and although i found it really hard to picture things such as the chrysalises & spirit armour…. i was having way too much fun to let the fact i didn’t have a super clear picture affect my experience reading this. 

i’m not a fan of love triangles tbh and they fucking piss me off but the way this one was handled….. chefs kiss. yet again XIRAN JAY ZHAO YOUR MIND. i wish the “resolution” of the love triangle (iykyk) was a bit more fleshed out and had time to breathe before the ending, and i hate when books are such a clear set up to a sequel. babes give me some form of resolution my god!!!!!!! but honestly with how much fun i had i can’t really complain, but i imagine those who read this when it first released would be fuming about the ending. it felt rushed. defo didn’t feel like it came out of nowhere but….. idk it felt Too Fantastical. the ending defo follows zetian’s established personality and motivations, but it feels like it.. wouldn’t be possible in universe. possible as in… yeah that could happen logistically…. but in reality would it be able to work? idk. 

but god this book literally scratches every itch i love in a book. 

in less than 400 pages, xiran jay zhao has cemented themselves as one of my favourite authors. plus they get bonus points for being a fellow nonbinary baddie. cant wait to see what chaos zetian causes in the next book 😼

yeah sadly i don’t think this book is my style. i thought it was! very much so at the beginning! but as i’ve read more i’ve realised this (obv) focuses a lot on rowing which…. i don’t care about. at all. i am not a sports fan. i like playing sports but watching it? no thanks. 

when chapters were about joe & his home life i was having fun, but now the book is about the meat of rowing and i couldn’t care less ❤️‍🩹

this book was a TRIP. at some points it was enjoyable, but a lot more often than not with this book it made almost zero sense. 

this book’s worldbuilding and characters really sucked me in to begin with. the world of crath, alongside livira as an incredibly likeable protagonist really worked. evar’s world also sucked me in, but i will say compared to livira, he was quite boring as a character. he lacked deep characterisation, and alongside someone as spunky as livira his chapters fell flat.

i think this book’s biggest downfall is although its almost 600 pages, it feels like it barely touches on the world of the story, and instead focuses on characters, which is all find and dandy if your worldbuilding is up to par. this book jumped steps 1, 2 &3 and immediately ran to step 4 regarding its world. like even in the first chapter the dust isn’t properly explained, and you kind of just have to piece together what’s going on. like sabbers - are they human? we’re told at some points, yes…. then no…. then like 70% into the book a nonhuman description is given…. but then yes they’re human. it felt like a battle between each concept as it would be explained one way, and then expanded on when the foundation wasn’t properly explored. 

also the amount of plot twists…. im a girl who loves plot twists, even if i predict them. what i don’t love is that this book is so complex and fails to fully explain the rules of its world that the plot twists literally don’t make sense, or feel like they’ve just been added for shock value. like once we got to jumping portals within portals and assistants and travelling back and forth…. after a while everything was twisting in on itself too much and seemed to be breaking the laws of this world’s universe i had no idea what was happening. this was probably the most egregious in the last 20% of the book. before that, i could reasonably understand what was going on. but in the last 100 pages or so i think this book really lost the plot… literally.

and the ending too….. i don’t even know what happened. like i do…. but gun to my head i couldn’t *explain* it. 

i really had fun reading this in the first half, but after that point i think too much was happening at once, it didn’t let me sit & digest what i was reading before another plot point that wasn’t fully fleshed out was introduced.

this sounds like such a mean review but i actually did enjoy myself reading this! before the halfway mark i was sure this would be a 4-star for me. but idk the way the second half of the book was….. not a fan 🙁

at this point im not even too sure if i’d want to finish this series. in one way im so attached to my girl livira i want to know what happened to her, but honestly i cant say i want to subject myself to another 600 pages of poor worldbuilding. 

i need to be real..... im not having fun.
i started reading this as a reading challenge in bookishreality's discord server & i was like "oh maybe after i pass 50% ill be having fun!"
nope.
i have no motivation or care to pick this back up again now that I've passed the halfway mark. i dont care about the count. i don't care. this book drags on so fucking much. did dumas get paid per page or some shit because seriously this book doesn't need to be almost 2k pages long. half of the time dumas is just describing the colour of a fucking brick that a house is built with or something. 
some chapters are fun, but honestly they're too few & far between for me to care about them. 
also i wanted to finish this because this is literally the one book my grandma has finished in her entire life. i wanted to bond with her about it. she enjoyed it. but i mean she also was born in post WWII serbia in a tiny village. welp, sorry grandma. this book was ass. i get if you had literally nothing else to do but..... its a no from me im afraid

i did not expect to like this that much?? i did not expect this book to go how it went either!!!!!

now i’m just gonna say up front - the only reason this isn’t a 5-star is because there was a LOTTTTT of space jargon. the book tries its best to explain it so i at least had some idea but…. i’m sorry by the end i was lost with how much jargon there was. not only was there insane science technical terms but made up concepts???? my brain short circuited it couldn’t keep up. even if i had no idea wtf was going on usually i could excuse that, but i will say when there were paragraphs of jargon by the end i just started skimming because i knew i would just be wasting my own time and hating every second of it. sue me.

other than that? this book was PERFECTION. i get why this guy had his book made into an award winning movie. ngl this needs to be made into one too. idk how they’d make rocky but honestly i don’t care!

grace was so funny and quippy. he did lose a bit of this by the middle, but tbh at that point based on the personality established i had grown to love him without his funny bone rearing its head every sentence so i wasn’t mad. i loved his flashbacks appearing in progression, especially his dynamic with stratter.

now - i gotta spotlight my boy rocky. ROCKY!!!!!!! i started crying over him because i actually just loved him so much. i won’t lie i did have to google illustrations of what the actual fuck he looked like cuz i actually could not imagine it at all. yes i am an avid fantasy & sci-fi reader with slight aphantasia and what? but after i got over that slight hump (i’m so serious i googled a drawing of him literally when his physical description was given so… this didn’t take long) i ADORED rocky. he’s my homeboy.

i actually started panicking because i thought rocky sabotaged the ship at the end. i was FREAKING OUT!!!! thankfully he didn’t or i would’ve been PISSED.

he was so quirky and made up for grace’s lack of funny one liners later.

the world building here also needs a great pat on the back. i mean i imagine the brain behind a blockbuster space movie would be great at world building…. and i would be correct in thinking that. everything down to the hypothetical(?) aliens & planets & situations felt so realistic that i actually forgot this book wasn’t sci-fi and was real. like if i went to space i would see a rocky. i saw on the news tokyo had 100mm of rain in an hour and my brain went “oh yeah that makes sense based on what the prediction surrounding astrophage’s effect on earth” and i had to pause. and realise. oh wait that’s not even real. it’s just raining a lot because of global warming and…. idk rain. not an alien parasite(?). even tho i had no actual idea what was happening on the logistical/technical side of things, from the dumbed down versions of events provided, it felt entirely realistic!!!!! i was so locked in reading this. can u tell seeing i read this in like 3 days as well. 

the relationship between rocky & grace ate so bad. god and the ending too?????? ugh impeccable. no notes. chefs kiss. i had such a fun time reading this.

anyways omw to add the martian to my letterboxd watch list 🫡

i really dont know how to explain *why* i enjoyed this book so much. all i know is that it made me cry and i had a good time and i didnt expect a book about food to do this to me.
i think this book hit so hard as i did relate to rika quite a bit - daddy issues & perpetual feelings of loneliness? yeahhhh we're twinning. i really enjoyed how she was written, and could put myself in her shoes constantly. she was incredibly likeable and probably contributed to >90% of my enjoyment of reading this. side characters such as reiko & shinoi were also well-written, as was the star of this book, kajii. 
i found kajii intriguing, as it was difficult to tell her underlying motives. just like rika, im sitting here contemplating the kajii beyond what she display(ed) to the public. truly fascinating character, and i especially liked her ending. and in general i loved this book's ending. felt like a nice full-circle.
speaking of, not only did i not expect to love a book about food, but i really loved how the book centers itself on relationships. relationships in terms of friends, family, and lovers, were superbly covered in this book. ngl i think the ending regarding rika's relationships is what made me cry. idk i didnt expect it and it hit me Hard.
what else did i like? i mean there really wasnt a plot if im honest. yeah sure we're following kajii & rika.... but there's no logical flow. there's no beginning, middle & end to this. it follows rika and honestly that was fascinating. seeing rika switch between admiring to fearing to resenting to loving kajii was great. honestly i think the no-plot only works because rika is written so well and is very relatable. without it, i think i would've dnf'd this a chapter in.
i really like how the book lowkey changes halfway through. it was unexpected yet it felt realistic based on the setting and characters' presented. especially with reiko's chapter, i liked how the story turned into something else.
now the real question is - why is this not a 5-star if i seemed to live laugh love everything? well im ngl but even though rika is so likeable so i said the no-plot wasnt an issue.... it kind of is. there's almost no resolution regarding the plot proposed to readers for the first half of this book. im not saying i needed a "where are they now" of kajii and a complete resolution - i understand it was likely written as ambiguous or not mentioned at all to fit rika's characterisation at the time. still, as a reader, i can't lie and say it didnt annoy me slightly. plus, as much as i loved the passages with rika & her foodgasms, after the first 4 paragraphs about how great butter is i was.... not bored? moreso it felt redundant. girl i know butter is orgasmic u said so literally 2 sentences ago. can we move on to the actual story staring me right in the eye. i mean i didnt hate the food chapters, but i didnt love them. they were... fine. 
anyways im so serious after reading this ive had to contain myself from not going to the shops to buy a ridiculously expensive butter to see if rika is actually just a weirdo or if butter is *that* good. lock ur doors yall if you have butter in ur fridge the clobster is coming to yoink it all tonight 😈