UPDATE: I don’t know, the more time I spend away from it, the less I like it. I just really didn’t enjoy Leah’s personality or being in her head at all. 3 stars.

I'm essentially the most indecisive person currently alive on Earth, so this is really no shocker, but I'm struggling to decide on a rating for Leah. Becky Albertalli is a fantastic writer of diverse and realistic teens. They take AP classes, they're involved in extracurriculars, they're multidimensional, they worry about and talk about and visit colleges (which is a huge piece of high school life that is so often missing in YA). Her characters are extremely relatable with their social media and their humor and their precarious balance of cynicism mixed with melancholy in regards to high school and what it means to be leaving it. I struggle to relegate this book to my "4 star books" because there is so much about this novel that is done exceptionally better than that of lots of my other 4 star books. And yet.

I think the problem is that this was not the story I wanted to read. Simon and Blue (so I don't unwittingly spoil anyone who hasn't read Simon) are genuinely some of my favorite characters in all of literature. I adore them. If Albertalli had written 300 plot-less pages of them being a mushy couple over senior year, I would've smiled the whole way through and given it an easy 5 stars because that's the kind of reader I am with them. But that's not what happened. Instead we got Leah, who, although sweet at times, was really more complain-y and obnoxious to me. She continually made decisions that I struggled to support, especially because most of the conflict seemed a little forced and self-created, and even the romance felt a tad unrealistic. Like Simon and Blue had conversations. Leah sort of just said Abby was made of light every three pages (hyperbolic, but not by much in my opinion). Also, it was kind of too long for me? Honestly, I often think this with books I slam through in a day (because a lack of breaks and extended exposure to characters can make a story become very old very fast), but there were a handful of times Leah's narrative felt pretty repetitive. Her almost-exclusively negative attitude was tiring, and unnecessarily so for that matter.

The representation was great, as expected with Becky Albertalli. I liked how Leah's being bi wasn't some major source of conflict, she just was. The family dynamic Leah had was also interesting and as a whole she was definitely a much different perspective from Simon's to read from. As usual, I tend to dwell on what I didn't like more than what I did, but the upside is that there really was a ton to love about this book.

I don't know, it was great. But I keep thinking about something I see a lot when I read reviews for Isla and the Happily Ever After. A lot of people say that their favorite part of the entire book is when the couples from the previous two novels have a cameo scene right at the end. And if that's truly their favorite part of all 300-something pages, then they couldn't have really loved Isla and her story that much. Although I don't share that opinion with Isla, that is how I feel with Leah. I was obsessed with every scene and sentence that mentioned Simon or Blue, but I didn't care much for Leah herself. What I wanted was a Simon sequel, butwhat I got was a Simon companion. It was still good, but not an all-time favorite, no matter how much I still love Simon and loved seeing him again in this. 4 stars.