I spent quite a bit of time reading through the Goodreads reviews on this book to see how other people reacted to it. I think for this book you either just get it or you don’t. People who have not had a similar experience to Kadlec will probably not like this book. I remember how difficult it was for me to hear stories like this when I was deep in evangelicalism/fundamentalism because it created cognitive dissonance in me. If you grew up having been deeply harmed by modern American Christianity, if you are queer, if you are a woman, if you grew up under purity culture’s strict rules and expectations, you might really resonate with this book and feel seen, heard, and understood. I definitely fell into the latter category. 

Loses a star for me because I agree with some of the criticisms that it, at times, has weird pacing or the memoir bits are broken up by political/social commentary in ways that interrupted the flow of the book for me. It didn’t bother me too much but I think with some additional editing, parts of the book could’ve been structured better. I also would’ve loved more about the early stages of her deconstruction. I think that could’ve fleshed things out and made the narrative more cohesive.

I left this book thinking about how important it is that stories like this are told, even when they are “inflammatory” (as many other reviews have said) or uncomfortable. Books like this can be a safe place for Christians to engage with ideas that challenge them. You can feel frustrated and confused and angry without hurting someone. If you, as an Evangelical, are struggling to engage with a book like this in good faith and an honest desire to learn and understand about other peoples’ hurt, I am concerned about your ability to engage with real-life queer people who have experienced trauma from the church and are sharing their experiences with you.

Also, shoutout to exvangelical queer kids who heal through D&D!!!!!