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A review by kailafitz
Thoughtful by S.C. Stephens
5.0
Kellan Kyle I didn't think I could love you more. Well feck me.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
[b:Thoughtless|13517535|Thoughtless (Thoughtless, #1)|S.C. Stephens|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1331254339s/13517535.jpg|14321512] was about Kiera and Kellan.
[b:Thoughtful|23200620|Thoughtful (Thoughtless, #1.5)|S.C. Stephens|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1413473998s/23200620.jpg|33210811] is about Kellan and Kiera.
This is Kellan's side.
“Did she know anything about me besides my name and that I was in a band? Did she realize I screamed my heart out in my lyrics? Did she understand that my life left me feeling vacant inside? That I was so fucking lonely I almost couldn't stand myself?”
I think everyone falls in love with Kellan Kyle in the first book - his rockstar appeal, his cute cockiness and his love and torment for her as we see it from Kiera's POV.
But this book, was just full of feels.
And I was reminded of just how much I hate Kiera in the first book.
“Something was missing. I felt hollow and even lonelier than before the sex...and I had no idea how to change that.”
We know that Kellan was abused by his parents, it's quite clear that they never loved him because of their own mistakes, something that was never his fault. Now 21, Kellan has made a better life for himself with good friends but he has a lot to learn.
From the hollowness he feels, he found something in sex at a very young age that allowed him to feel that connection of affection that he craves. And to this day, he's known to bring home his fair share of women.
Except now it's not working and the sex just makes him feel worse.
“She was comfort and pain, wrapped up in one beautiful package…that wasn’t mine.”
When his bestfriend from childhood, Denny, calls up looking for a place to stay around Seattle, Kellan jumps to offer him and his girlfriend his place.
We learn how important Denny was and always will be to Kellan from when he witnessed the cruelty of Kellan's parents firsthand. Almost seen as a brother, sweet Kellan is excited for them to join him.
Kellan knows Kiera is not his. He'd never betray Denny by thinking anything about her. But when Denny leaves for a new job, the time spent apart makes Kiera lean towards Kellan.
And the lines begin to blur.
“Because I was head-over-heels, ends-of-the-earth, till-death-do-us-part in love with her.”
With a build up of Kellan and Kiera spending time with each other, they get to know one another. Kellan only wishes to keep her happy while he knows that she's missing Denny. However comfort goes too far when in a desperate state Kiera pushes them too far and makes a life changing mistake for both of them.
It was all a hazy rush, a huge mistake that fills him up with guilt at what they've truly done, betraying his bestfriend, his brother. But Kellan realises that for him, he's fallen for her, hard, like he's never fell for anyone before.
Every little, simple, innocent touch from her has given him more feeling than sex with all the other women. And now he's in love with his bestfriend's girl.
“I’m in love with you. You gave yourself to me, then ran right back to him. You. Killed. Me.”
Kellan can't deny that what happened between them wasn't nothing. The innocent flirting while Denny is away shows him that Kiera feels something for him. But any hopes of convincing Kiera that what happened between them meant more are crushed when he finds, or rather, hears her running back to him. Denny.
Why in the world did he think she would see things differently? Her and Denny were still together, really. He knew she had been in pain. But she had wanted it. The tension building between them, she had wanted him too.
But he wasn't worth loving. No one else ever did, how could he convince her to give him a shot?
Soul and heart crushed, Kellan has to put up living with the love of his life in another man's arms. He tries to get over it but he's hurt and all he wants is the one thing he can't have. The guilt is overwhelmed by the need for her.
“I thought I could leave you. I thought distance would
make ‘this’ go away, and it’d get easier, but it hasn’t.”
Kellan is hot and cold. He's all over the place. Push and pull. She's touching him then running to him. He's willing to even share her just to feel the love from her. When it gets too much though, he's desperate for the pain and the hurt to end.
It's crushing him, she's ruining him, hurting him over and over again. She's worth it and he's trying, but he needs to get away. He doesn't know where, but to him, he'll never be happy unless he's with her and if it can't be, he can't stay.
“Thank you.” Thank you for ripping my heart out. Thank you for showing me something I can never have.”
She's begging him to stay. The confusion, the innocent flirting was never just that, and they both know it. The damage is done but Kiera can't make up her mind it seems and Kellan is done. Trying to figure it out, he is distraught.
She's not his.
She's not his.
She's not his.
He tries to get over her but nothing is the same of course. He's miserable, but it appears they both are. Kiera is struggling with her feelings but she knows for sure that one way or another, she needs Kellan in her life.
“I love you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. The women…I was so scared to touch you. You didn’t want me…I couldn’t take the pain. I tried to get over you. Every time with them, I was with you. I’m so sorry…I love you.”
Hurting each other, the pain of their battered, bruised, broken and also non-existent relationship drives them over the edge until Kiera finally admits her true feelings for Kellan. He knew she cared but this changes everything. She loves him. Someone loves him. The words are music to his ears, (pun intended).
Kellan can share her, if she can love him and it means something, he can do it. Facing the reality that what they've done to Denny is so completely wrong and unfair makes the guilt rise but Kiera has become his everything. He can't go on without her in his life.
“I just... I can't share you. The thought of you with him, it kills me, now more than it ever did before. I need you. All of you.”
The happiness is short-lived though. He can't share her. He just can't take it, seeing her with Denny the way she is with him, it's too much. And now that he's actually wanted her, wanted something for himself he can't help but want more. He knows he's not worth it but if she loves him, he's convinced she can see more in him. Now, he wants her to be his only.
And that means facing Denny.
Denny or Kellan?
Apparently Kiera can hurt him once again.
But when their secrets are revealed, the hurt and the mess of what's gone down is too much.
And the choice is made for her.
Neither of them.
“Only think about the raindrops. Only listen to the sound of the rain pelting the earth. Only feel the chill. Don't think about her. Don't think about her lips. Don't think about her body. Her smile. Her laugh. Her eyes...the way she looks at you. The way she looks at him. Fuck.”
God. What a ride these two were, (no pun intended). (Ew). ANYWAY, Kiera.....she was such a tease, it annoyed me even in the first book where I still remember the same sentence running through my head 'I WANT TO THROW THIS BOOK AT THE WALL'.
The pain from Kellan was overwhelming. I love him to bits. He's passionate, vulnerable, sexy as hell and just full of love that he only wishes he could get from someone else.
My heart broke for him, for every second of pain he felt. She crushed his hopes, and came back only to crush them again which hurt twice as much.
And did it again. And probably again.
“She was my greatest pain, and my only salvation. She was the only one who could heal this hole in my heart, a hole she’d torn open.”
I liked the writing of the book, Kellan, being passionate, had a lot to deal with so seeing his side of the story, it was so beautifully written.
From all the loneliness in his life, he looks at Kiera like she's his universe because to him, she's everything he's ever truly wanted.
By the end of the book, he also comes to realise that more people care about him than he thought, and I was glad because he is such a great character that I wish him to see how great he is too.
This could not have been a better account of Kellan's story so this was actually amazing for such a well loved character to get this and for us to see first hand the one and only, Kellan Kyle.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
“And you?” she asked. “What happens to you in that scenario?”
I die a little each day we’re apart.
“I…get by. And I miss you, every day.”
Every hour, every minute…every second.”
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
[b:Thoughtless|13517535|Thoughtless (Thoughtless, #1)|S.C. Stephens|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1331254339s/13517535.jpg|14321512] was about Kiera and Kellan.
[b:Thoughtful|23200620|Thoughtful (Thoughtless, #1.5)|S.C. Stephens|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1413473998s/23200620.jpg|33210811] is about Kellan and Kiera.
This is Kellan's side.
“Did she know anything about me besides my name and that I was in a band? Did she realize I screamed my heart out in my lyrics? Did she understand that my life left me feeling vacant inside? That I was so fucking lonely I almost couldn't stand myself?”
I think everyone falls in love with Kellan Kyle in the first book - his rockstar appeal, his cute cockiness and his love and torment for her as we see it from Kiera's POV.
But this book, was just full of feels.
And I was reminded of just how much I hate Kiera in the first book.
“Something was missing. I felt hollow and even lonelier than before the sex...and I had no idea how to change that.”
We know that Kellan was abused by his parents, it's quite clear that they never loved him because of their own mistakes, something that was never his fault. Now 21, Kellan has made a better life for himself with good friends but he has a lot to learn.
From the hollowness he feels, he found something in sex at a very young age that allowed him to feel that connection of affection that he craves. And to this day, he's known to bring home his fair share of women.
Except now it's not working and the sex just makes him feel worse.
“She was comfort and pain, wrapped up in one beautiful package…that wasn’t mine.”
When his bestfriend from childhood, Denny, calls up looking for a place to stay around Seattle, Kellan jumps to offer him and his girlfriend his place.
We learn how important Denny was and always will be to Kellan from when he witnessed the cruelty of Kellan's parents firsthand. Almost seen as a brother, sweet Kellan is excited for them to join him.
Kellan knows Kiera is not his. He'd never betray Denny by thinking anything about her. But when Denny leaves for a new job, the time spent apart makes Kiera lean towards Kellan.
And the lines begin to blur.
“Because I was head-over-heels, ends-of-the-earth, till-death-do-us-part in love with her.”
With a build up of Kellan and Kiera spending time with each other, they get to know one another. Kellan only wishes to keep her happy while he knows that she's missing Denny. However comfort goes too far when in a desperate state Kiera pushes them too far and makes a life changing mistake for both of them.
It was all a hazy rush, a huge mistake that fills him up with guilt at what they've truly done, betraying his bestfriend, his brother. But Kellan realises that for him, he's fallen for her, hard, like he's never fell for anyone before.
Every little, simple, innocent touch from her has given him more feeling than sex with all the other women. And now he's in love with his bestfriend's girl.
“I’m in love with you. You gave yourself to me, then ran right back to him. You. Killed. Me.”
Kellan can't deny that what happened between them wasn't nothing. The innocent flirting while Denny is away shows him that Kiera feels something for him. But any hopes of convincing Kiera that what happened between them meant more are crushed when he finds, or rather, hears her running back to him. Denny.
Why in the world did he think she would see things differently? Her and Denny were still together, really. He knew she had been in pain. But she had wanted it. The tension building between them, she had wanted him too.
But he wasn't worth loving. No one else ever did, how could he convince her to give him a shot?
Soul and heart crushed, Kellan has to put up living with the love of his life in another man's arms. He tries to get over it but he's hurt and all he wants is the one thing he can't have. The guilt is overwhelmed by the need for her.
“I thought I could leave you. I thought distance would
make ‘this’ go away, and it’d get easier, but it hasn’t.”
Kellan is hot and cold. He's all over the place. Push and pull. She's touching him then running to him. He's willing to even share her just to feel the love from her. When it gets too much though, he's desperate for the pain and the hurt to end.
It's crushing him, she's ruining him, hurting him over and over again. She's worth it and he's trying, but he needs to get away. He doesn't know where, but to him, he'll never be happy unless he's with her and if it can't be, he can't stay.
“Thank you.” Thank you for ripping my heart out. Thank you for showing me something I can never have.”
She's begging him to stay. The confusion, the innocent flirting was never just that, and they both know it. The damage is done but Kiera can't make up her mind it seems and Kellan is done. Trying to figure it out, he is distraught.
She's not his.
She's not his.
She's not his.
He tries to get over her but nothing is the same of course. He's miserable, but it appears they both are. Kiera is struggling with her feelings but she knows for sure that one way or another, she needs Kellan in her life.
“I love you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. The women…I was so scared to touch you. You didn’t want me…I couldn’t take the pain. I tried to get over you. Every time with them, I was with you. I’m so sorry…I love you.”
Hurting each other, the pain of their battered, bruised, broken and also non-existent relationship drives them over the edge until Kiera finally admits her true feelings for Kellan. He knew she cared but this changes everything. She loves him. Someone loves him. The words are music to his ears, (pun intended).
Kellan can share her, if she can love him and it means something, he can do it. Facing the reality that what they've done to Denny is so completely wrong and unfair makes the guilt rise but Kiera has become his everything. He can't go on without her in his life.
“I just... I can't share you. The thought of you with him, it kills me, now more than it ever did before. I need you. All of you.”
The happiness is short-lived though. He can't share her. He just can't take it, seeing her with Denny the way she is with him, it's too much. And now that he's actually wanted her, wanted something for himself he can't help but want more. He knows he's not worth it but if she loves him, he's convinced she can see more in him. Now, he wants her to be his only.
And that means facing Denny.
Denny or Kellan?
Apparently Kiera can hurt him once again.
But when their secrets are revealed, the hurt and the mess of what's gone down is too much.
And the choice is made for her.
Neither of them.
“Only think about the raindrops. Only listen to the sound of the rain pelting the earth. Only feel the chill. Don't think about her. Don't think about her lips. Don't think about her body. Her smile. Her laugh. Her eyes...the way she looks at you. The way she looks at him. Fuck.”
God. What a ride these two were, (no pun intended). (Ew). ANYWAY, Kiera.....she was such a tease, it annoyed me even in the first book where I still remember the same sentence running through my head 'I WANT TO THROW THIS BOOK AT THE WALL'.
The pain from Kellan was overwhelming. I love him to bits. He's passionate, vulnerable, sexy as hell and just full of love that he only wishes he could get from someone else.
My heart broke for him, for every second of pain he felt. She crushed his hopes, and came back only to crush them again which hurt twice as much.
And did it again. And probably again.
“She was my greatest pain, and my only salvation. She was the only one who could heal this hole in my heart, a hole she’d torn open.”
I liked the writing of the book, Kellan, being passionate, had a lot to deal with so seeing his side of the story, it was so beautifully written.
From all the loneliness in his life, he looks at Kiera like she's his universe because to him, she's everything he's ever truly wanted.
By the end of the book, he also comes to realise that more people care about him than he thought, and I was glad because he is such a great character that I wish him to see how great he is too.
This could not have been a better account of Kellan's story so this was actually amazing for such a well loved character to get this and for us to see first hand the one and only, Kellan Kyle.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
“And you?” she asked. “What happens to you in that scenario?”
I die a little each day we’re apart.
“I…get by. And I miss you, every day.”
Every hour, every minute…every second.”