this is a decent m-m romance.

first of all, I just wanna say that before I dove into this, I was really hesitant to lay my eyes on the first chapter because of this irrational trepidation that this would be another book where gays are overly-sexualized, and that it would be just like an unrealistic portrayal of gay relationships. but when I finished it, I was surprised how good this was.

what I liked:
1. second chances. so our main characters were friends in this summer camp but then after a sexual 'dare', one of them cuts communication. basically, ghosted the other one. then they meet again like 4 years later (lol I can't remember) in a hockey match. so you know, awkward second meetings, giving gifts with innuendos. yeah, it was cute.

2. the portrayal of bisexuality. when I read m-m romances that feature a 'straight to gay' protagonist, the shift happens fast in an unrealistic way. like after weeks of kissing a dude, they're just gonna realize that they're bisexual? huh—what is that? just because you were horny over a guy, you'll conclude and accept that you're not a hetero? no questioning, no denial, no resistance? but in here, somehow, it explored the situations of experimentation of someone's sexual preference (minor spoiler: watching gay porn and lesbian porn), the internal questioning which was complicated by that kindle of initial attraction since they had a thing in the past. so even though the exploration of bisexuality happened for a short period of time, I guess I was able to suspend my disbelief that this person was willing to accept he's bi.

3. good incorporation of homophobia in workplace and how to deal with it, the stakes of not being outed in public because of someone's reputation as a hockey player.

4. of course, the romance. it was hot, steamy, and sometimes cute. there was consent all through out, and the compromise and exploration of comfortable sexual positions (top, bottom, or versa) was handled properly.

what I kinda didn't jam with (these didn't annoy me, just some observations)
1. the voice. I was kinda confused at the first 100 pages because they sound the same. I had a hard time telling them apart but I managed to pull through.

2. too much sex. yo, I'm not a prude, ok? but I just think that I would've liked the book more if there had been deeper discussions on new adult sexuality, family dynamics (especially Wes's—his relationship with his dad. I hoped there was more), and some other things on being a gay.

3. okay, some might not agree into this, but I guess the reason why I found Ryan and Jamie so similar is that both of them are super masculine, like ram rod discreet (if that's the term). in my own experience as a gay person meeting a lot of gay people, no matter how discreet and straight-acting you are, a tiny, atomic speckle of flair should radiate within you. there's a reason why there's this thing called a gaydar. I know I might be a little stereotypical here (that you really cannot say that one person is gay because of just how he moves) but there is this distinct flavor in the way a gay person acts and moves, aside from wanting a dick, that sets him apart from heteros. I kinda didn't feel it with the characters (especially Ryan), not until the part where they started fucking each other and that they're starting to get vulnerable with each other. again, not a gripe, just an observation.

4. Ryan and Jamie's backstories were underdeveloped. A few backstories but I felt that I haven't really known them yet (hoping there would be more in the next book).

5. Some inconsistencies with characters' actions, especially towards the end. Like I thought they were okay already, but then one character reverted back to his previous action, which he admitted was fucked up, but I didn't like that it was the main drive for them to 'separate'.

all in all, I did enjoy this book. would read the next book in this duology, I think.