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A review by parmyc
My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell
5.0
I have always been obsessed with the idea of having an older man in my life. As long as I remember, boys my age were never the center of my attention. They seemed incomplete. Always lacking. Some may find this a strange statement, I know how these days being into old guys is a thing people like to joke about, but it has really been a mindset of mine since i was 10.
My Dark Vanessa was a bizarre adventure of discovering what i believe to be right, now that I’m 10 years older. I started this book thinking “I don’t find the idea false or scandalous.” Thinking it can’t be so bad. If you’re with someone twice as your age, it means they already know most of the things they’re supposed to know, so you don’t have to deal with young boys who are not yet used to their own skin. But what I never actually thought about, was that this was not the point. If you’re dating someone twice as your age, they know all the things “you” don’t, so they can easily manipulate you into thinking or doing something you have no idea how wrong is. I was totally unaware of how easy it is to be coerced by someone who seems to know everything.
As someone who’s almost used to finding out she’s being watched by random old strangers in cafés or getting more attention from her professors comparing to her classmates, I always thought it is what it is. I’m usually sure about myself. But from time to time, I come across books that make me doubt what i believe to be correct. what I believe to be normal.
So when I say this book was enlightening for me, I mean it as in, It could be me. I could be Vanessa if I was not so scared of getting out of my comfort zone. For once, I’m actually glad I never got out of it because I know this could be my story.
I loved and despised Vanessa. Mostly, I had to remind myself that she was just a child. When you’re a child, allot of things make sense in their own way and sometimes, you like to think they still do. Even as an adult.
This book reminded me why I loved literature in the first place or what I wanted from it. I wanted to be slapped in the face. I wanted to feel things I’d rather not. I wanted to believe in something, lose my faith, find something new to believe in.
A huge recommendation to those who feel the same.
My Dark Vanessa was a bizarre adventure of discovering what i believe to be right, now that I’m 10 years older. I started this book thinking “I don’t find the idea false or scandalous.” Thinking it can’t be so bad. If you’re with someone twice as your age, it means they already know most of the things they’re supposed to know, so you don’t have to deal with young boys who are not yet used to their own skin. But what I never actually thought about, was that this was not the point. If you’re dating someone twice as your age, they know all the things “you” don’t, so they can easily manipulate you into thinking or doing something you have no idea how wrong is. I was totally unaware of how easy it is to be coerced by someone who seems to know everything.
As someone who’s almost used to finding out she’s being watched by random old strangers in cafés or getting more attention from her professors comparing to her classmates, I always thought it is what it is. I’m usually sure about myself. But from time to time, I come across books that make me doubt what i believe to be correct. what I believe to be normal.
So when I say this book was enlightening for me, I mean it as in, It could be me. I could be Vanessa if I was not so scared of getting out of my comfort zone. For once, I’m actually glad I never got out of it because I know this could be my story.
I loved and despised Vanessa. Mostly, I had to remind myself that she was just a child. When you’re a child, allot of things make sense in their own way and sometimes, you like to think they still do. Even as an adult.
This book reminded me why I loved literature in the first place or what I wanted from it. I wanted to be slapped in the face. I wanted to feel things I’d rather not. I wanted to believe in something, lose my faith, find something new to believe in.
A huge recommendation to those who feel the same.