when i started this book, i thought i had it all figured out. girl goes missing and comes home twelve years later. i don’t know how many times i’ve read that plot. she’s either really messed up from her time gone or she’s a fake. too easy to even bother. i thought, why am i reading this? i guess i just wanted to know what happened before she came back.

but, friends, this is a completely different book.

i can’t tell you too much about what happens to make it different, but i can tell you that the writing is taut and it makes it hard to put the book down. it causes that certain anxiety in the pit of your stomach that good thrillers pull off. the edge of your seat suspense, the what the heck is going to happen? what has happened? it’s the kind of thriller i crave.

it took me a few days to read, but it still seemed to read really quickly. i think that if i were avoiding instagram more and i picked it up in the afternoon instead of at night, i would have finished it much faster. honestly, i didn’t want it to end. there aren’t really any likable characters. there’s one part where jenny fat shames an old friend in her head and i don’t even understand why that had to be part of the story. so she was definitely not my favorite main character. but everything else that happens is so gripping, it’s impossible to just push aside because of triggers (for some, anyway).

it’s a dark and disturbing book but i feel like the tension and suspense was worth it. it was an excellent thriller and take on something i thought had been done enough.

trigger warnings: abuse, drugs, the r word, mental illness, fatphobia, prejudice, body shaming, rape/sexual assault of a minor. *i realize that the r word was spoken at the time that it was a typical word for kids to use. but still.