this was. ok. i remember i read this in 2018 and i liked it…. but now i have a bit more criticisms i guess. 90% of this review is going to be spoilers because my criticisms of this book focus on very specific plot elements or characterisations. 

the main issue i have with this book is its “climax” so to speak. the big rising tension is that

sana has kissed caleb as she fears jamie is cheating on her with kelsey.

. however, this really annoyed me. for one,

sana is completely raked through the coals for kissing and leading caleb on and kissing him whilst she’s with jamie. ok sweet yes very much deserved. but why tf is jamie’s cheating brushed under the rug??? WHY DOES EVERYONE INCLUDING SANA AND JAMIE IGNORE THAT FACT?? the book makes it out to be that sana is horrible for what she’s done, but yet almost lets jamie get away with also cheating???? wtf???

. this actually annoyed me to no end, and even by the last page this point is never brought up.

another MAJOR ANNOYANCE was sana’s group of friends.

they say “we’re ok with u being gay xoxo” and then push caleb onto her to the point homegirl succumbs to the pressure.

like jesus fucking christ could they be anymore grating? and i’m ngl either every character in this book was actually the biggest asshole ever, or an idiot. or both. looking at you elaine. the characterisations in this book weren’t great, as honestly i didn’t care how jamie and sana’s “will they won’t they” saga ended because i found them, along with everyone else, incredibly mediocre, one dimensional, and downright unlikeable.

the plot itself…. didn’t exist. we follow sana in wisconsin bumming around, then we come to california, and at most she follows jamie like a puppy dog, sneaks out with her friends, and spies on her dad. there is no plot. there is no “oh no prom is coming up!” “oh no exams and ah i have a gf how will i balance it all?” nope! you literally just follow the characters as they vibe for 400 pages.

also, do you know that meme about the voltron fanfic with the bilingual character saying “que pasa? ah sorry it’s hard to switch back sometimes.” that was this book. i’m not saying characters cannot be bilingual and cannot speak in another language in dialogue. what i AM saying is that not only did it feel unnatural in its placement, but there was barely ever a translation offered, so i was just kind of guessing based on my high school knowledge of japanese. at one point a character speaks spanish and ill be honest i think i missed 80% of the conversation there. why oh why would you not offer a translation, or offer more context to what is being said in internal dialogue, context clues, etc.

so what did i actually like about this book, because i seem to be shitting on it to no end?

i really liked the way the social commentary was tackled in terms of racism and japanese cultural expectations. i liked that the author didn’t shy away from the fact that just because you are not white doesn’t mean you cannot be racist to other races. although it was incredibly hard to read about sana’s friends being racist towards latinos for the umpteenth time (not because it was badly written, but because i wanted to jump the characters), i do think it was necessary, and the conversations held in this book are very important, especially surrounding the situation at the 7/11.

i don’t really like that other than sana, no other “racist” gets their comeuppance, or hell even just…. stops being racist! that honestly did annoy me as well. why have them be such shit heads and then just…. only have sana be “redeemed”. like why wasnt caleb actually confronted for talking about how “asians are all the same”, or hanh about how latino students are “lazy”… why does sana go on the most racist rant known to mankind, then have jamie smooth it over, and wow race is forgotten about in the text.</spoiler). the theme of racism is important, but it wasn’t exactly resolved well. 

a theme that WAS resolved well was cultural expectations!!! i loved the continual religion of “gaman”, and where not only sana, but her entire family, change for the better. it was nice to not only see how sana’s family influenced her opinions & decisions, but to also see her recognise it in herself? great stuff.

umm what else can i say. this book was insanely predictable. characters felt flat. plot felt flat. really i only cared about finishing this to see the tea surrounding sana’s dad.

i wrote at 30% i thought he was gay and i was pleasantly surprised with what the text actually gave me!</spoilers>.

tldr; what was my taste in books at 14 yikes