Book safety, updated content warnings, and tropes down below.

"You belong in a cell like that,” Finch said, and Scott flinched, looking up into the other man's face with a pit in his stomach. “What?” he whispered. Finch tilted his head at him. “I said, 'are you up for a road trip?' It's about an hour drive."

I'm struggling with finding the words to describe this book, as it's unlike anything I've read before, I think. It's a mixture of mental health, mental illness and the paranormal. Struggling alongside Scott and trying to figure out if what he sees and hears is a result of his schizophrenia, or if it's ghosts, or if it's just reality was very unsettling at times, but so well done.

What made it heavy was the descriptions of Scott's depression and struggle with mental health and mental illness. You can tell the author either has personal experience or consulted with someone who does, because it was all very real, and I imagine I'm not the only person that will be able to recognize a lot of what this character thought and felt.

Scott resigned himself to spending the afternoon pretending he was going to do the laundry. In reality, he took a nap, put on a movie on Netflix, then counted the odd numbers from 511 up to 627 and backwards by threes to distract himself from the thought of swallowing all of his remaining pills.

The book doesn't pull its punches when it comes to describing what it's like to live with depression and taking anti-depressants, among other medications. Scott struggles with keeping both himself and his living space clean. He can't sleep, but he can't focus on other things either. He's unmotivated, and his eventual sex life is almost ruined by the medication he's on. It's all very real and not at all romanticized.

What was the point of so much medication, of therapy, of feeling nothing and wanting nothing and fighting to sleep at night just so that he could wake up ready for bed again?

Scott's mother is likely sick herself, and instead of getting him help, she would use him and manipulate him and make the problem worse. She made me so angry while reading.

I haven't even mentioned Scott's love interest yet: Finch. This book is very much centered around Scott, but I enjoyed Finch's character as well. He was relatively uncomplicated, which I think was necessary, honestly. Everything else that happens and Scott's struggles was more than enough. That's not to say that Finch's character was flat or uninteresting, he just didn't take center stage until very late in the book when we needed him.

I'm giving it 5 stars, but there was a couple of things that bothered me. Scott is referred to as 'the brunette' what felt like a thousand times. It threw me off the first couple of times, but eventually it just felt bizarre. The second thing was the changing perspectives. I love dual POV, but I was confused several times while reading, because there was no clear markation or indication as to whose POV it was. Even though I’ll be seeing the words ‘the brunette’ in my dreams, this book is so fucking good. The completely unique, harrowing and beautiful story totally makes up for the sometimes dodgy editing.

I’ve read it two times now and I love it so much.

⬇️ Blanket spoiler warning ⬇️

⚠️ Tropes & tags ⚠️
Mental health rep
Psychic/medium
Ghost whisperer
Schizophrenic MC
Librarian MC
Musician MC
Hurt/comfort
Found family
Paranormal
Slow burn
Push and pull
Virgin MC
Therapy

⚠️ Content warning ⚠️
Prescription drug use (MC, on page)
Side effects of prescription drug use (low libido, vomiting, tremors, etc.)
MC emotionally and psychologically manipulated by parent (past and present)
Auditory and visual hallucinations (on page)
Past and present suicidal ideation
Suicidal thoughts (on page)
Several past suicide attempts (MC, some details)
Details of severe depression (MC)
Brief mention of past drug use (marijuana)
Mentions of past psychiatric hospital stay (MC)
Graphic injuries detailed (not MCs)
MC abused as a child (psychologically)
MC neglected as a child
Past self harm (MC, scarring)
References to past underage drinking and drug use (marijuana)
Mentions of a person having committed suicide in the past (not detailed)
MC experiences vision of woman being raped and killed (some details, not graphic)
Descriptions of human remains
Vomiting
Brief mention of electroconvulsive therapy (past)
Withdrawal from antipsychotic medications
Drugged by parent (past and present, unknown tea)
Brief mentions of slavery and racism in relation to a past murder (unnamed character)

⚠️Book safety ⚠️
Cheating: No
Other person drama: No
Breakup: Yes
POV: 3rd person, dual
Genre: Contemporary romance w/paranormal elements
Pairing: M/M
Strict roles or versatile: Strict roles
Main characters’ age: 25 and 26/27
Series: Standalone
Kindle Unlimited: Yes
Pages: 267


“So you don’t sleep much, huh? I see your light on up there all the time.” “I can’t maintain these bags under my eyes by keeping a normal sleep schedule, can I?” Finch nodded. “Exhaustion-chic is really in this year. I admire your dedication.”

Did he believe Scott at all, really, or did he think he was just sick, like everyone else? Scott sighed and leaned his shoulder against the wall. Was he sick? Was all of this real, or was it just in his mind? Was there even a difference?

Finch scoffed, shaking his head with a small smile. “How someone in your situation always finds the upside, I don't know.” “I don't have a choice,” Scott said. He shrugged one shoulder. “I've...been where I can't see an upside, and...it gets me put in the hospital,” he finished with a faint, dry smile.

She’s looking at you.
Scott glanced across at his mother, who was humming softly as she changed lanes to pass an old sedan.
She hates you.
“Okay, sweetie?” she asked when she noticed him staring at her.
“Want to jump out the window?”
“What?” he whispered.
“I asked if you wanted any coffee.”



You can find most of my reviews on Instagram as well: https://www.instagram.com/booksafety?igsh=MWZ3azhkdDc2Y2ludg%3D%3D&utm_source=qr