I pick up a true crime book to learn about psychopaths and as in most cases the victims are women I try to understand why these women got picked up by these monsters. 

The book was a lot about Bundy and what was Ann’s relationship with Bundy. The book chronologically describes the events and establishes a timeline for the readers. It is such a detailed study of Ted Bundy’s life that honestly it felt like reading a biography. This book was so long and covered so many events and yet I feel much was neglected. Maybe a little bit more on the victims and how the crimes committed by Ted Bundy affected the other criminals who might feel emboldened to venture in that route. But Ann Rule is just one person and she wrote to her best. 

This book made me realise that just being intelligent is not enough. You need to have an acute sense of awareness and also be humble of yourself. ‘I am a psychology major so I know what psychopaths are like and will always be able to spot them’ - No. You may not be able to do that. Ted Bundy fooled so many people. Intelligent people with experiences in law enforcement, laws, life, politics, sociology, trauma, psychology etc. Was Ted Bundy that intelligent? In terms of IQ may be he is lower than all those people he managed to manipulate. But in other areas of intelligentsia like reading people, observing them, keeping a cool idea, being coy & cunning, mistrusting others, Ted Bundy ranked higher than many. 

He was a predator through and through. The fact that so many of his victims were at their lowest points of their life while getting kidnapped and Ted Bundy being able to perceive that and isolate and attack them at that right moment demonstrates his intelligence. 

Women are aware of the dangers they are prone to face. They are always cautious. But we don’t step out of our house thinking that today I might get picked up by a serial killer so I will be extra vigilant. But Ted Bundy, the monster, stepped out of his house with the sole purpose to kill. He gave his 200% to finding his prey & getting his kill. It is nigh impossible to fend attackers like him. Ann Rule also says ‘For every hapless young woman that he managed to force or charm into his car, Ted probably approached ten times as many who got away.’

Ted Bundy even escaped from jail twice. Second time he was so successful and went on a more brutal spree than his previous endeavours. It goes to show that the man was able to manipulate even the law enforcement. 

Coming to Ann Rule and her relationship with Ted Bundy : I am as ambivalent regarding my feelings about her as she was regarding her feelings towards Ted Bundy. She mourned his death, tried to save him and in all the reprinted editions of this book, not once she showed animosity towards Ted. She believed he was guilty and yet the news of his execution date shocked her into writing him “I wanted him to know that his death would not go unnoticed, or completely unmourned, by me. I had tried to say all that, without really saying it, not writing the words that seemed apparent, “Now that you are about to die—”. Before this they hadn’t communicated for 6 years and yet in her heart Ann continued to hold some kind of (good) feelings towards Ted. 

Ann Rule has been emphatic towards the victims. She wrote about them with care and compassion. Not once she blamed the victims and never had she said that Ted Bundy was not guilty. But she believed that there were two sides of Ted, one that killed and one that knew about the evil side and wanted to stop that side. She believed that some part of Ted wanted to kill himself so that he can be stopped. The fact that Ann Rule chooses to still believe that despite being anti social Ted Bundy had a part of him that wanted to destroy his evil persona, makes me mad at Ann Rule. “He was a shadow man, fighting to survive in a world that was never made for him. It must have taken incredible effort.” - Can you really write this for a serial killer unless some part of your heart still cares for him? I do not understand why Ann Rule still cared for him and if she did, why did she choose to put it in printed words? 

“I looked at the jury, and I knew. Never mind the odds. My God, they, are going to kill Ted.”/ “Ted was lost to me. He had been lost since I looked at the pictures of the dead girls and knew what I knew, knew what I had never wanted to believe. There was no need to remain for the penalty phase. Whatever was to come after was already foretold in my mind. They are going to kill him … and he knew it all along.” - These are such careful choice of words. Terribly dramatic and yet you’d say that a Jury is going to kill someone only when you deeply care for that certain someone. 

“I believed that the verdict had been the right verdict, but I wondered if it had been for the wrong reasons. It had been too swift, too vindictive. Was justice still justice when it manifested itself as it had in the less than six hours of jury deliberation? Was this the delayed justice that should have come before? Perhaps there was no way that it could have been done cleanly, concisely, in a textbook case. The people had spoken. And Ted was guilty.” - It is almost like she is indicating that the justice served was too easy. That Ted’s fate was decided callously. That people just wanted him dead and so the entire judicial system came together to do just that. Maybe that is true. But does a guilty person like him deserves any better? Ann Rule was at least honest. She knew she was tied to Ted and so she chose to talk about her feelings regarding Ted throughout the book.

For me, Ted Bundy is a monster who was born a monster and not one that was created despite what he later told his psychiatrist. I wish whoever knows of such monsters will stop showing them empathy after learning of their crimes. No good memories with them can justify the pain they have inflicted on others.