i genuinely do not know how to describe how this particular tale made me feel. i picked this up on a whim at najjat's recommendation.

if there's one thing we both share in common is our love for fucked up beyond belief books and after not reading any as of recent, this one is definitely a refreshing read for once. refreshing in a sense that my-brain-is-hurt-but-the-story-is-so-compelling type of refreshing. i am baffled at the thought of the story being inspired from the real-life story that the author herself went through. it was grotesque and the dynamic between the characters was odd and dangerous and yet everything works so perfectly well. despite its short number of pages, everything was elaborated well and it almost felt as if i spent years and years of experience with the characters.

i am truly at loss for words to talk about the explicit aspect of the book but if you are interested in picking this one up, it is best to familiarise yourself with the content warnings because everything that is odd in this one are vividly described that it might be seared into your brain as it did mine (even remembering it as i'm writing makes me nauseous and wanna throw up).

nonetheless, i thank najjat for making me read it because damn it's one hell of a book!