If there was ever a book I had high expectations for, it was this one. In retrospect, I should have seen the signs that it might not be for me: early 2000s, a very young protagonist, an author most likely writing with a straight audience in mind... The list goes on. But the blurb sounded so good, that I felt this book calling for me, the stellar reviews erased the last bit of doubt in mind. Now, here I am: disappointed and annoyed.

I'll keep it brief, because this book doesn't actually deserve the negativity I would pour over it on a bad day. Deep in my heart, I think this book just wasn't for me, that my own high expectations are to blame for the bad taste it left in my mouth. Flannery is a perfect example of a star struck, love ridden freshman, eager to throw everything aside for an unbalanced, almost "dangerous" love affair.

I never quite understood the appeal of Anne, beyond her being booksmart and objectively hot, because all Flannery ever talked about was her appearance and her bookishness. This may be in part due to the writing style of the author: the two page long chapters are filled to the brim with metaphors and flowery descriptions, which represents a young girl in love quite well, but leaves the reader somewhat in the dark (if they failed to build an emotional connection to the characters, that is). This was definitely the case in the second third of the book, which mainly consisted of Flannery and Anne having sex, or kissing, or whispering sweet nothings. While this is all fine and well, I do not feel that these scenes contributed anything to their characterization beyond hammering home that their relationship was a sexual one before it was a romantic one (and that, perhaps, turned out to be the reason for its demise). This is a big problem in portrayal of queer relationships in media. Oftentimes, these sex scenes feel almost voyeuristic (as if composed for the straight people who have to be 'rewarded' for consuming media that shows a different world to the one they know) and the story does not benefit from them at all. Storytelling done via sex scenes can be done very well, but if the author's intention was to show some sort of imbalance in expectations or power within the relationship through these chapters, it just plain didn't translate as such.

Speaking of power imbalance: which 28 year old voluntarily dates a 17 year old that idolizes them? That sounds like a recipe for a headache. And disaster.