“It is not a question of if you will survive this, but what beautiful things await you when you do.”

Truly a staggering yet devastating read, written in unwaveringly unflinching truth of what Chanel gone through after January 18, 2015 and the brutal year of the trial that followed. Chanel Miller, who was known as Emily Doe pre-2019 as her victim impact statement went viral in 2016 during the times of the high profile case of the Stanford sexual assault. This memoir like her statement but goes into more depth and detail of her internal emotions and day to day life after that night. Definitely not recommended for the faint of heart as details of the night are repeated constantly as readers see that she was forced to relive that night as well seen in court on the stand every time. We see how the policies in Stanford's system both fail her and the justice system incessantly fails sexual assault victims time and time again with not just sentencings but failure to see the system's own flaws with how victims are scared to speak up as they see cases with even sufficient evidence are not even enough to give them the justice they deserve. Reading all that Miller suffered in the mental strain the aftermath and the trial put her and her loved ones through was heartbreaking and draining seeing the lack of empathy people have for victims in general public and the legal system. But with her victim statement its inspiring to see how much her words made an impact worldwide and she was able to see that there is good in the world, leading her to be able to reclaim her identity becoming one with anonymous victim and putting this story out for the world to acknowledge.

“We don’t fight for our own happy endings. We fight to say you can’t. We fight for accountability. We fight to establish precedent. We fight because we pray we’ll be the last ones to feel this kind of pain.”