(please don't read if you haven't the book yet)

sally rooney is so good in writing delicate relationships, where the characters reflect each other; similarity and difference alike. peter and ivan are two sides of the same coin. i was so captivated by how they seem so similar yet tread similar and shared situations differently. 

rooney makes characters and situations that should not be interpreted through black & white perspective, like things cannot always be definitive. and i appreciate how this book isn't telling you how to live your life but allows you to see how things just happen, and we're both powerful and helpless in changing and dealing with them.

in terms of writing style: i love how peter's pov is read like a list. it feels like it has beat. really reeling in brevity. his established limitation is so deeply etched in his mind as if every moment is meant for something productive. while ivan's is more patterned; his thoughts conceive another and sometimes in bulk, flowing in sudden bursts. it really highlights the distinction and irony between them: peter, a lawyer but seem incapable of telling his feelings. and ivan, a professional chess player, that often tries to communicate his feelings despite not being taken seriously by most people. their stark difference and similarity is so intriguing.

of course, upon reading the book, i can't help but become rooted to my own beliefs as a woman. seeing how the men in this book grapple feminist themes through their points of argument but also being active participants on some of the known situation that women face in society (misogyny, sex work, divorce, and somehow, youth). they talk and talk about what's right and wrong, what should be and what shouldn't be that they can't help but become hypocrites of their own beliefs. while the book centers on two men, the narrative is heavily influenced by the women of the story. margaret, sylvia, and naomi were probably my most favorite part of the book. sure, i was looking forward on how the two brothers deal with their relationships, but because their lived are tethered on these women i find that i was looking forward to them more.

it's so good that sally rooney explores youth in different lights through these women. margaret who felt like her life is stuck on an impasse because of her past, felt something else when ivan entered her life. the constant pull between rationality and desire. in the society where a woman's life is contained on a strict deadline, it was heartbreaking to me how margaret is painfully aware of that, of the implication of their relationship, of how that tracks back to her. sylvia, whom i find so fascinating, who literally had her life stopped at 25. the said to be purpose of woman gone in the midst of her youth. the bridge between the two brothers before everything went bad, of how letting go was her last  act of love, of how she continously perceives and understands everything, of how she tries not to be an inconvenience to anyone, i just love love love her. and naomi who couldn't be taken seriously because of her age. as though her feelings are enough to be labeled as naivety, as if she's not deserving of respect. to be all honest, i can't help but think about conversations with friends. it feels so similar with frances-nick-melissa situation. 

i loved how sally rooney kept showing restraint in her female characters. that's the difference, i think, because while the brothers decide if they should or should not, the women have already established restraint and yielding. 

all in all, i've enjoyed it! although i think i have a bit of problem with the pacing. i'm quite biased with sally rooney so... (: