Scan barcode
A review by peripetia
Between Us: How Cultures Create Emotions by Batja Mesquita
4.0
This was a neat book - accessible, to the point, and with a strong message. We, as in humans, tend to be pretty single-minded in insisting that our way to feel and think is universal or at least should be and obviously the best way. "Moral/cultural relativism", as someone called Mesquita's approach in their review, can be disparaged but really, you should be able to step out of your own bubble and look at other cultures with curiousity, not judgement.
It was pretty frustrating to read some of the reviews and see that the essence of this approach was completely glossed over, being replaced by "actually some things just are universal end of story". An example could be the shame-based cultures that Mesquita describes. I don't agree with shame-based child rearing either - having grown up with it-, but it's truly naive at best to think that your (American) way is the best with no downsides to raising your children to have (from my cultural point of view) an inflated ego and hyper-individualist view of the world. But ok, let's shame the Others.
It was refreshing to be informed about studies where white Americans weren't the benchmark, although for most of the book they were. It gets quite boring to have white Americans always at the center with others being othered in comparison to them. There are obvious reasons for this, one of them being the target group of the book, but still.
I would have loved to hear more examples of varying cultural emotions and their expressions, but that's not a flaw in the book. Mesquita kept it at a digestible length, which was good. Her point was clear, even if it's missed by some people. It made me think about the culture I grew up in. I was already aware of some of the differences of Finnish emotions compared to many others, but I had not considered that perhaps our feelings our different.
For us, for example, shame is not as devastating as it seems to be for Americans. The book also had an example about Mexican culture, which was nice because I got to ask my husband about that. I think this book can lead to great discussions with friends and family from different cultures.
I admit that the book was at times repetitive, but one might argue that the point was worth repeating. And again, even with the repetition some seem to be thoroughly opposed to this "cultural relativism".
It was pretty frustrating to read some of the reviews and see that the essence of this approach was completely glossed over, being replaced by "actually some things just are universal end of story". An example could be the shame-based cultures that Mesquita describes. I don't agree with shame-based child rearing either - having grown up with it-, but it's truly naive at best to think that your (American) way is the best with no downsides to raising your children to have (from my cultural point of view) an inflated ego and hyper-individualist view of the world. But ok, let's shame the Others.
It was refreshing to be informed about studies where white Americans weren't the benchmark, although for most of the book they were. It gets quite boring to have white Americans always at the center with others being othered in comparison to them. There are obvious reasons for this, one of them being the target group of the book, but still.
I would have loved to hear more examples of varying cultural emotions and their expressions, but that's not a flaw in the book. Mesquita kept it at a digestible length, which was good. Her point was clear, even if it's missed by some people. It made me think about the culture I grew up in. I was already aware of some of the differences of Finnish emotions compared to many others, but I had not considered that perhaps our feelings our different.
For us, for example, shame is not as devastating as it seems to be for Americans. The book also had an example about Mexican culture, which was nice because I got to ask my husband about that. I think this book can lead to great discussions with friends and family from different cultures.
I admit that the book was at times repetitive, but one might argue that the point was worth repeating. And again, even with the repetition some seem to be thoroughly opposed to this "cultural relativism".