I don't often write one star reviews because I often don't slog my way through the book, but MY GOD. I feel the need to excise my feelings on this one.

Let's start with the fundamental problem: the book that is written on 450+ pages is not the one described in the blurb. If we'd continued on the route the first couple of chapters had gone on, this book would be getting four stars. It was absurdist, it was just dark enough, it was weird. Good combination. BUT THEN. 'Sign Here' wastes the pages it's written on. It drags a story of a family through endless short chapters without ever developing it, intercutting it with a random story about a bunch of workers from Hell that BARELY integrates with the other storyline until the last, like, four pages. And I read SO MANY USELESS PAGES BEFORE THAT.

I can't even begin to comprehend what on earth the author was going for here - it's a complete mess. The female characters in particular are all awful (and sound like they were written by a man, which is certainly an insult) and it feels like the author was throwing everything they could at a barely-thought out plot to seem 'edgy'. It uses so many cliches, veering wildly between literary tropes and campy horror. Structurally, it's all over the place - the chapters are too short in some instances and cut off at weird moments and if you're going to have an A storyline and a B storyline, for the love of GOD integrate them sooner! I kept waiting for the connection between Peyote and the Harrison's to appear and it just...never did. It felt like such a waste of a reading experience.

This was crass, borderline offensive to read and, for its worst sins, so unbearably dull and badly written. I beg, someone else write the book that the first few chapters of this believed it could be - I'll be first to buy a copy.