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A review by ms_tiahmarie
The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women by Jessica Valenti
I suppose the problems with books like this is that they mostly 'preach to the converted.' However, I do chat with many women, both online and in person, who seem to be under the impression that 'all is okay now.' This book is useful at taking all the little bits of information that illustrate 'all is not okay now' and put them together to create a glaring portrait of why this is a problem.
Valenti shows how this 'virgin' culture goes beyond a religious choice. How it often excludes or 'others' women of colour. How it completely leaves out lesbian and gay students - ostracising them at a very vulnerable time in these young adult lives.
She uses facts to demonstrate that 'abstinence only' education are "just as likely to have sex as teenagers as those who had not...[but] teens who had taken abstinence classes were more likely to say that condoms were ineffective in protecting people against STIs."
Valenti also connects the dots to the money trail, where religion has become mixed up in politics, and not so much for reasons of morality, but for control and, back to money - money. How often the issue is not really about abortion, but about total control of women's bodies, including the pill and /or any form of birth control - which is pushing women to live a very narrow life per the terms of a very select vision of certain conservative religions.
I can't help but wonder what she would say about the situation of now, as most of the facts quoted are from 2008 and before. Four years later and things seem to be worse - the Republican Primary coming out swinging, the War on Women now seems much more real than her book depicts.
The book does seem to downplay the fact that sex is a very grown up act. Not because female virginity should be viewed as some present or rose, but because there are very real grown up consequences that can and do occur. Even so, the solution seems to be to make the risks clear (but not use scare tactics) with further information on how to best reduce these risks should a person feel they are ready to be sexually active. Also, as she champions, if more women had better access to good medical care, many of these risks would be lessened by virtue of women having the tools to protect themselves while engaging in sex.
Nor does the book provide a 'how-to' manual on raising future men and women, how to teach your children how to negotiate the path that is best for them. Not that a book should be expected to address or be the 'everything.' But if a parent is picking this book up in the hopes it will provide ideas for raising a young teen in this current political and social climate, they may be disappointed. However, I would argue that parents should still read it, if only to make them more aware of what is being taught in schools, why and the pressures kids are under.
Valenti shows how this 'virgin' culture goes beyond a religious choice. How it often excludes or 'others' women of colour. How it completely leaves out lesbian and gay students - ostracising them at a very vulnerable time in these young adult lives.
She uses facts to demonstrate that 'abstinence only' education are "just as likely to have sex as teenagers as those who had not...[but] teens who had taken abstinence classes were more likely to say that condoms were ineffective in protecting people against STIs."
Valenti also connects the dots to the money trail, where religion has become mixed up in politics, and not so much for reasons of morality, but for control and, back to money - money. How often the issue is not really about abortion, but about total control of women's bodies, including the pill and /or any form of birth control - which is pushing women to live a very narrow life per the terms of a very select vision of certain conservative religions.
I can't help but wonder what she would say about the situation of now, as most of the facts quoted are from 2008 and before. Four years later and things seem to be worse - the Republican Primary coming out swinging, the War on Women now seems much more real than her book depicts.
The book does seem to downplay the fact that sex is a very grown up act. Not because female virginity should be viewed as some present or rose, but because there are very real grown up consequences that can and do occur. Even so, the solution seems to be to make the risks clear (but not use scare tactics) with further information on how to best reduce these risks should a person feel they are ready to be sexually active. Also, as she champions, if more women had better access to good medical care, many of these risks would be lessened by virtue of women having the tools to protect themselves while engaging in sex.
Nor does the book provide a 'how-to' manual on raising future men and women, how to teach your children how to negotiate the path that is best for them. Not that a book should be expected to address or be the 'everything.' But if a parent is picking this book up in the hopes it will provide ideas for raising a young teen in this current political and social climate, they may be disappointed. However, I would argue that parents should still read it, if only to make them more aware of what is being taught in schools, why and the pressures kids are under.