“Girls in those stories are always victims, and I am not. And it doesn’t have anything to do with what Strane did or didn’t do to me when I was younger. I’m not a victim because I never wanted to be, and If I didn’t want to be, then I’m not. That’s how it works. The difference between rape and sex is state of mind. You can’t rape the willing, right?”
― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa

Wow...this book was stunning, disturbing, and necessary. I could not put it down! Even though this book is fiction I found it realistic with the psychological impacts of being a survivor of sexual assault. There are no easy answers. I thought this story was well written and engaged the reader even with the heavy topic. This book sent me on a roller coaster of emotions with how conflicted I felt with Vanessa and Strane. At times I felt upset, angry, empathetic, and sad for both of them. Then I felt guilty for not hating Strane instantly when I felt bad for him. From the outside it’s always easy to judge. This book explained being a survivor of sexual assault can be more physiologically and emotionally complex than I could ever imagine. 

If you have not read this book, I highly recommend it with trigger warnings (rape, abuse, and grooming of a child). 

Have you read this book or are you considering it?