I absolutely loved this memoir. It was so honest, vulnerable & true. Sánchez writes in such a way that holds nothing back and makes you laugh out loud. I adored how straight up she was in the chapters “Down to Clown” and “Do You Think I’m Pretty? Circle Yes or No.” all of her reflections on beauty & statements on how we interact with it in society i felt to be extremely accurate & included some of my favorite quotes below.

I appreciated the chapter “La Mala Vida” on Buddhism & the way it supported Sánchez out of her depression at the time. The candidness with which she shared about her mental illness was definitely triggering as someone who struggles with depression, but nevertheless I thought the details she shared were so poignant. From her humor to what she had to say about being bilingual to a spectrum of relationships to living alone & having difficulty taking care of herself (eating, etc.) I related deeply to Sánchez. Truly a wonderful memoir I would recommend to anyone especially those of minoritized identities :)

Consumed via audiobook - 7 hrs read by the author herself

favorite ideas/quotes:
- better to laugh at the absurdity of your time on earth than to resign yourself mourning all of life’s misfortunes .

- ✨ !!! Though I had grown up bilingual, I found that I simply wasn’t as funny in Spain. I had spoken Spanish my entire life but the vast majority of my education had been in English & therefore my English vocabulary was much broader. Also, so much of my humor depended on shared cultural experiences

- !!! On resting bitch face - some people perceive this phenomenon as some sort of curse, a misfortune. They miss the point. They don’t understand that it can be a weapon. A face carved from years of harassment and unwanted attention. I’m aware that I have it and I don’t apologize for it

- When you’re a woman everyone has an opinion on your appearance whether you like it or not. If you spend too much time & effort on the way you look, you’re often considered vapid, vain & self indulgent….if people don’t think you care enough about your looks, you may be labeled as homely, unkempt & slovenly. Really there is no winning so why even try to get it right

- ✨!!!! If I’m honest with myself part of me was not brave enough to lose the capital that my appearance granted me. I was well aware of the privilege of being pretty. I liked it.

- ✨ !!! I tried to extinguish the part of me that valued my appearance but I was unable to. The world is kinder to you when you look the way it wants you to look …. I couldn’t stand being perceived as anything less than pretty. I still can’t. I know that part of the privilege I hold is in part to being a young & attractive woman. Part of me is ashamed & another part of me accepts that this is the consequence of living in a world where a woman’s worth is inextricably attached to her appearance. Maybe beauty can be a weapon. Maybe I’m a fool

- !!! Women aren’t supposed to admit they’re attractive…we are conditioned to bond over our flaws

- ✨!!! An anxiety beyond imposter syndrome: not that believes self to be fake or unworthy, it’s that I question whether a person like me will be allowed to live the way I choose

- !!! To be white is to be at the center of it all & still want more