A review by afi_whatafireads
Fault Lines by Emily Itami

emotional funny reflective sad fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0


This book broke my heart in more ways than one, and lord did it really confused me in making my feelings clashing over my moral compass.

"With all the options I had, I chose him, chose him for life, for living, and he's frozen me out into and existence that isn't living at all. I'm in a cage without bars and I'm screaming but nobody can hear. I'm not even middle-aged yet and he's faded me into the background."

Disclaimers : I'm writing this review right after finishing this, hormonal and at 3.30 AM, please excuse any grammatical errors and mistakes cause I'm basically crying while writing this

There's nothing but a book that makes you so horribly sad but so horribly GUILTY for actually crying. The tears won't stop as I finish this, and my heart feels so much for the characters. One of the reasons was how I don't support Adultery of any kind, and there are very questionable thought process that the main character did, but lord, I actually felt for her so so much, in which this confuses me as I felt guilty for loving her affair.

Short Summary
Fault Lines is a story of motherhood, womenhood and a modern take on Tokyo and its sceneries. Mizuki is a housewife, with two lovely kids, a husband that is succesful and a great home. However, she's unhappy with her life, until the day she met Kiyoshi and her world slightly got better. A story that is unconventional in every sense, but it leaves you feeling bittersweet at the end, and in my case, it got me crying at 3.30 AM.

Personal Thoughts
There's something so so beautiful with Itami's writing. Its lyrical but not overly done. Its whimsical but still grounded. It contains its own sense of humour, but most of all, its a depiction of a woman that is flawed, but is also so loveable.

I definitely had my doubts when i saw that the book is about adultery, and while I have read my fair share of adultery-themed books, the circumstances of the characters in the book made it almost, well, acceptable.

One of the biggest heartbreaks for me for this book was how, even to the very end, motherhood had won for Mizuki. Against all odds, against her desire and against everything else, she had make her children her priority. I love how Raw and Real this book is. If anyone would ask me to describe the book with one word, I would use the word Raw. The Raw emotions of a mother who struggles to become the best version of herself for her children. The Raw emotions of a wife struggling to meet the societal expectations that is set for her. The Raw emotional toll that she has to face being judged in raising her children. The narrative that the author set made me in love with the whole scenery of the book.

“While I always meant to become a mother, I didn’t set out to become a housewife. I suppose that by the time I became a wife, a 家内, the kanji, reading ‘inside (内) the house (家)’, meant it was inevitable; that it was written, in fact. Especially since I now had a 主人, a husband, or a ‘main (主) person (人)’.

A protagonist in my life, and I wasn’t it.”

The usage of Japanese words in here is something that I found very endearing. I especially love the quoted line above as it explained the usage of the kanji really well, alongside with the context of the book overall. There are also japanese terms that is romanized in the book. Its so random but it somewhat made sense to Mizuki as a character, as she loves English and Japanese at the same time. How Itami described Tokyo had the vibes of All the Lovers in the Night, in how her surroundings, the Tokyo that is described to her lenses, somewhat went through not only the four seasons, but we also see the real side of Tokyo, as a pedestrian and as through the lenses of someone who grew up there as well.

“My children. My life’s work, my greatest loves, orchestrators of total psychological trauma and everyday destruction.”

The author really touched on Motherhood and how there is still an inner-conflict that makes being a mother as hardwork. In some sense, in the adultery part, while I don't condone what Mizuki does most of the time, I especially love moments with her and her children; because, as much as she is stressed out with her children, she loves them to pieces, even if it eats her up alive. In some sense, no one is at fault in this book and Itami navigated the story really really well, as its the question of morality, on whether you should choose happiness or choosing your children at the end, and it somewhat made me realize how a mothers sacrifice can be so big.

“Perhaps I did make him up. Or else he’s somewhere, still existing, still under the same sun, and the same moon, and happy, hopefully. And up I get, dust myself off, open the metaphorical curtains and get on with being happy too. I look around and there they still are – my beautiful children, my beautiful husband, my beautiful life. Did anyone ever deserve them less?”


I .. lord. I love this book so much. I think my review does not do any justice cause my brain is all over the place. I might edit this later but, for now, this is it. Overall, it was Raw. Its a 214 page book that is somewhat funny, but mostly bittersweet. Such a brilliant book and I'm thankful that I came across it.

My biggest thanks goes to @DefinitelyBooks (Pansing Distribution) for generously providing me this gorgeous copy of the book.

Disclaimers: All my reviews are my thoughts of the book and according to my personal preferences. Even though I had received a review copy, it does not affect my review and honest thoughts for the book.