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A review by chaptersofmads
Mortal Follies by Alexis Hall
1.0
"Lord, what fools these mortals be!"
There are so many words that could describe this book (tedious, intolerable, enamored by its own perceived cleverness, etc.) but none fit quite as well as bad. This book was bad.
I'm going to return to my old review style for a moment, list several of the reasons I disliked this book, and then go on my merry way.
- The Main Couple
The main couple's age difference is 19 and 24-25. (I feel I should mention that the older of the two never has her age officially confirmed, with some people thinking she's 20, but her love interest makes a comment ((to her)) about her being mid-twenties and it is not refuted.) That isn't illegal, I get it. However, it's still uncomfortable and only gets made worse by it being consistently repeated that the older of the two is far more advanced and mature due to life experience, even going so far as to call the younger love interest "child". (Not to mention all of the times that she asks her why she must be such a girl or when the older of the two speaks of wishing to have sex with her just so she (the younger love interest) thinks about her when her future husband is taking advantage of her.) This is a problem that is not resolved simply because the younger love interest begins to demand things.
Their entire relationship was not only extremely toxic but so boring. They had absolutely no chemistry, even without all of the aspects that would have made their relationship problematic. I think part of this is due to the fact that they felt more like shadows of a character rather than actually living beings. Neither of them have any personality (aside from cursed, innocent, and horny and also cursed, mysterious, asshole, and also horny). They had the same conversation no less than fifty times.
I kept finding myself secretly hoping the antagonist would win just so the book could be over.
- The Narrator
I hated the narration style. It's clear the author wanted to capture the nearly omnipresent yet gossipy spirit of Lady Whistledown in Bridgerton with a magical twist but failed to account for the ramifications of this. For one, the narrator is incredibly annoying. But on a more objective level, we view every event in the book through the eyes of Robin which not only makes the reader feel incredibly detached from all events taking place but also makes us feel like we're stalking the characters. Despite the fact Robin claims to only watch their faces during sex (which is still weird), we're still a third party observing them.
- The Writing
The writing style tried so hard to be flowery and clever that it forgot to be enjoyable. I realize this is kind of second part of the previous point but it still deserves mention. I know that the author was attempting a very specific kind of writing style, but it unfortunately fell flat for me. Instead of feeling enchanted and whimsical, it just felt excruciating.
- The Pacing
The mystery (if one can even call it that) is solved at the 50% mark. Halfway. Through. The. Book. That means that for the next fifty percent, a dozen things happen for the sake of extending the book and creating conflict. I understand that the plot of the curse had been building, but it almost felt like the book had been split in two - rather than creating a cohesive narrative.
I could keep going. I feel like some of this review is too harsh and I do usually try to stay more neutral in my reviews, but it's been awhile since I was this uncomfortable about a book. Sapphic relationships deserve better than cardboard characters who think vulgarity is the only way to show maturity.
I know nothing of the author, but I can't imagine they meant for the relationships to read this way, but unfortunately that doesn't change the fact they do.
Overall, I went into this book expecting to love it and I'm absolutely bummed that I didn't. I don't know how a book with fae, witches, gods, two curses, and regency lesbians managed to be this boring, but it succeeded... which I suppose is a triumph in and of itself.
While I wouldn't recommend this book, I had only heard positive things before reading it so it clearly has a lot of people that love it and I'm glad. I wish I had loved it.
There are so many words that could describe this book (tedious, intolerable, enamored by its own perceived cleverness, etc.) but none fit quite as well as bad. This book was bad.
I'm going to return to my old review style for a moment, list several of the reasons I disliked this book, and then go on my merry way.
- The Main Couple
The main couple's age difference is 19 and 24-25. (I feel I should mention that the older of the two never has her age officially confirmed, with some people thinking she's 20, but her love interest makes a comment ((to her)) about her being mid-twenties and it is not refuted.) That isn't illegal, I get it. However, it's still uncomfortable and only gets made worse by it being consistently repeated that the older of the two is far more advanced and mature due to life experience, even going so far as to call the younger love interest "child". (Not to mention all of the times that she asks her why she must be such a girl or when the older of the two speaks of wishing to have sex with her just so she (the younger love interest) thinks about her when her future husband is taking advantage of her.) This is a problem that is not resolved simply because the younger love interest begins to demand things.
Their entire relationship was not only extremely toxic but so boring. They had absolutely no chemistry, even without all of the aspects that would have made their relationship problematic. I think part of this is due to the fact that they felt more like shadows of a character rather than actually living beings. Neither of them have any personality (aside from cursed, innocent, and horny and also cursed, mysterious, asshole, and also horny). They had the same conversation no less than fifty times.
I kept finding myself secretly hoping the antagonist would win just so the book could be over.
- The Narrator
I hated the narration style. It's clear the author wanted to capture the nearly omnipresent yet gossipy spirit of Lady Whistledown in Bridgerton with a magical twist but failed to account for the ramifications of this. For one, the narrator is incredibly annoying. But on a more objective level, we view every event in the book through the eyes of Robin which not only makes the reader feel incredibly detached from all events taking place but also makes us feel like we're stalking the characters. Despite the fact Robin claims to only watch their faces during sex (which is still weird), we're still a third party observing them.
- The Writing
The writing style tried so hard to be flowery and clever that it forgot to be enjoyable. I realize this is kind of second part of the previous point but it still deserves mention. I know that the author was attempting a very specific kind of writing style, but it unfortunately fell flat for me. Instead of feeling enchanted and whimsical, it just felt excruciating.
- The Pacing
The mystery (if one can even call it that) is solved at the 50% mark. Halfway. Through. The. Book. That means that for the next fifty percent, a dozen things happen for the sake of extending the book and creating conflict. I understand that the plot of the curse had been building, but it almost felt like the book had been split in two - rather than creating a cohesive narrative.
I could keep going. I feel like some of this review is too harsh and I do usually try to stay more neutral in my reviews, but it's been awhile since I was this uncomfortable about a book. Sapphic relationships deserve better than cardboard characters who think vulgarity is the only way to show maturity.
I know nothing of the author, but I can't imagine they meant for the relationships to read this way, but unfortunately that doesn't change the fact they do.
Overall, I went into this book expecting to love it and I'm absolutely bummed that I didn't. I don't know how a book with fae, witches, gods, two curses, and regency lesbians managed to be this boring, but it succeeded... which I suppose is a triumph in and of itself.
While I wouldn't recommend this book, I had only heard positive things before reading it so it clearly has a lot of people that love it and I'm glad. I wish I had loved it.