In 1993 ("For any Gen Zs reading the book, that was the year we invented fire"), the author placed a personal ad in the paper, got a few dozen responses, answered about half of them at the time, and now is looking at the other half, and wondering "what if."

I'm a little bit mixed on this book, as I feel like the format of a memoir in letter replies worked some of the time, and left me going "Why is this?" the rest of it. I was maybe spoiled by Ivan Coyote's Care Of... which nailed this format so perfectly nothing can compare, but I did wish the responses seemed more personalised to the letters in places, and less like the letters were prompts or jumping off points for what Francis wanted to talk about anyway.

Probably four or five of the fourteen letters really landed for me, a couple I didn't see the point of, and the majority were fine but not great. When it worked, it was such a clear and compassionate look at being gay in the '90s, especially not being in or near a major city, dealing with homophobia, with femmephobia, with AIDS, with being in the closet, with how physically dangerous the dating scene could be. I felt like it was at its best when it was on the theme of missed connections, and how the narrowed options of the early '90s made those connections so much more difficult to make. I think it's hard to understand what the '90s felt like if you weren't there, and I appreciate a first hand account that lays it out so clearly.

So, decent for the queer history aspect, and a little vague and undirected for the rest of the book. And, honestly, why are gay men so interested in stories about poo? I've never figured it out.