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A review by chaptersofmads
The Honey Witch by Sydney J. Shields
1.5
“Anyone can be capable of something impossible— as a witch, she must believe that.”
You know the part of The Princess Diaries films where "only Paolo can take this and this and give you: ✨a princess✨"? Okay, so imagine that but the "this" and "this" are witches and sapphics and the end result is a very poorly crafted Bridgerton fanfic.
Impressive, I know.
I love books about witches. They usually get slightly higher ratings from me, simply because I love reading about nature witches and the overall atmosphere. To some degree, this book did deliver on atmosphere (at least for the beginning of the novel). My favorite parts had to do with the honeybees and the nature spirits.
Adding witches to a sapphic plot about a woman that has sworn off love because the only love she's aware of feels like sacrificing her autonomy? Does that not sound fantastic? It almost sounds like a flawless premise for a book.
But alas... this was not the case.
The book itself is structurally and technically a mess. The plot is an incredibly basic one, with scenes that were used in nearly every fantasy book of the 2010s. The plot-twists are painfully predictable if you've ever consumed any media. And the stakes are never talked about with the appropriate severity.
I want to be clear: I don't mind when a book is predictable and messy, so long as it's enjoyable. If I care about the characters enough, I don't mind if the plot-twists feel like they were lifted directly from the pages of "Tropes: A Beginner's Handguide" by Plagiarism Phil. I'll just be happy to be there.
Unfortunately though, this was one of those books where the characters were insufferable.
Practically everything was insufferable. The exposition is handled terribly (the first 35% percent of this book kind of feels like being forced to watch a instructional cutscene for a game you've been playing for thirty years). The pacing is somehow rushed and too slow at once (i.e. the book takes place over about a year and a half, but the characters act like it takes place over a decade.) The characters are childish and irritating. The dialogue is atrocious. The writing style is both melodramatic and stilted.
I think there's a reason for all of this and I think Bridgerton is to blame.
This reads like AI generated sapphic Bridgerton fanfiction. With over-the-top dialogue lacking the actor's human emotions to somehow level it out and bring the silliness back down to earth. And even Bridgerton takes itself far more seriously than this book ever did. I mean, the fmc literally growls "She's mine!" about her love interest at her old suitor, in the middle of a ballroom, causing lightning to strike in the distance.
This kind of leads to my final point: I don't think most people write grumpy x sunshine well. Or! Perhaps, I just don't like grumpy x sunshine, which may very well be the case.
However, more often than not, it feels like either one character is an abusive asshole and the other is just a nice person or! One feels like an angry asshole and the other feels like an inconsiderate, toxically optimistic asshole. Which could work, if it didn't feel like we suddenly switch from them hating each other (and just being generally unnecessarily rude) to dramatic expressions of love.
This was no exception. The two characters barely speak to each for the first 45% of the book and then when they do talk, one of the characters is incredibly rude. This kind of gets explained, but the switch from belittling and obnoxious to lovingly devoted felt insincere.
I don't know, I tend to love softer love interests so maybe that's why I didn't connect with this, but alas.
I'm afraid if I don't stop myself now I will continue to complain (particularly about a death scene involving someone's gore being trapped in their suspenders like a spider web? or the cartoonish villain dialogue) and that isn't my intention. This was one of my most anticipated books of the year and I'm devastated that I didn't love it.
There are good aspects to this book (the bees) and I do think people should pick it up if it sounds interesting to them, because some of my issues truly are personal. If you love witchy books and don't mind it when they're a bit messy, I encourage you to give this a try. You might love it.
Unfortunately, though, I did not.
You know the part of The Princess Diaries films where "only Paolo can take this and this and give you: ✨a princess✨"? Okay, so imagine that but the "this" and "this" are witches and sapphics and the end result is a very poorly crafted Bridgerton fanfic.
Impressive, I know.
I love books about witches. They usually get slightly higher ratings from me, simply because I love reading about nature witches and the overall atmosphere. To some degree, this book did deliver on atmosphere (at least for the beginning of the novel). My favorite parts had to do with the honeybees and the nature spirits.
Adding witches to a sapphic plot about a woman that has sworn off love because the only love she's aware of feels like sacrificing her autonomy? Does that not sound fantastic? It almost sounds like a flawless premise for a book.
But alas... this was not the case.
The book itself is structurally and technically a mess. The plot is an incredibly basic one, with scenes that were used in nearly every fantasy book of the 2010s. The plot-twists are painfully predictable if you've ever consumed any media. And the stakes are never talked about with the appropriate severity.
I want to be clear: I don't mind when a book is predictable and messy, so long as it's enjoyable. If I care about the characters enough, I don't mind if the plot-twists feel like they were lifted directly from the pages of "Tropes: A Beginner's Handguide" by Plagiarism Phil. I'll just be happy to be there.
Unfortunately though, this was one of those books where the characters were insufferable.
Practically everything was insufferable. The exposition is handled terribly (the first 35% percent of this book kind of feels like being forced to watch a instructional cutscene for a game you've been playing for thirty years). The pacing is somehow rushed and too slow at once (i.e. the book takes place over about a year and a half, but the characters act like it takes place over a decade.) The characters are childish and irritating. The dialogue is atrocious. The writing style is both melodramatic and stilted.
I think there's a reason for all of this and I think Bridgerton is to blame.
This reads like AI generated sapphic Bridgerton fanfiction. With over-the-top dialogue lacking the actor's human emotions to somehow level it out and bring the silliness back down to earth. And even Bridgerton takes itself far more seriously than this book ever did. I mean, the fmc literally growls "She's mine!" about her love interest at her old suitor, in the middle of a ballroom, causing lightning to strike in the distance.
This kind of leads to my final point: I don't think most people write grumpy x sunshine well. Or! Perhaps, I just don't like grumpy x sunshine, which may very well be the case.
However, more often than not, it feels like either one character is an abusive asshole and the other is just a nice person or! One feels like an angry asshole and the other feels like an inconsiderate, toxically optimistic asshole. Which could work, if it didn't feel like we suddenly switch from them hating each other (and just being generally unnecessarily rude) to dramatic expressions of love.
This was no exception. The two characters barely speak to each for the first 45% of the book and then when they do talk, one of the characters is incredibly rude. This kind of gets explained, but the switch from belittling and obnoxious to lovingly devoted felt insincere.
I don't know, I tend to love softer love interests so maybe that's why I didn't connect with this, but alas.
I'm afraid if I don't stop myself now I will continue to complain (particularly about a death scene involving someone's gore being trapped in their suspenders like a spider web? or the cartoonish villain dialogue) and that isn't my intention. This was one of my most anticipated books of the year and I'm devastated that I didn't love it.
There are good aspects to this book (the bees) and I do think people should pick it up if it sounds interesting to them, because some of my issues truly are personal. If you love witchy books and don't mind it when they're a bit messy, I encourage you to give this a try. You might love it.
Unfortunately, though, I did not.