i’ve done it folks. i’ve found the worst fucking book to exist. i think i am an avid Hater of this book.

why did i finish this? it ended up being a hate read. plus i was curious if it would redeem itself (spoiler alert: it didn’t. not even close).

now immediately, away from the actual story. why was this book so fucking racist and ableist and pro-pedophilia. a side character is called “Joe the R[-slur]”. what the fuck. the n-word, HARD R, is used for a description when it could’ve easily been omitted. what the fuck. pedophilia is essentially portrayed as admirable in this story, and most of its pages contain grown men fantasising about girls who died as CHILDREN. why are grown men in-text writing about a minor having sex? why is a grown man as an AUTHOR writing about a minor having sex????? lowkey explicitly???? yes i realise YA is written by adults and sometimes contains sex scenes. but my god it’s like a “flash forward” most of the time. why am i reading about luxx sucking off a guy. hey what the fuck this girl is like 15 years old let’s not. what goes through the authors’ mind where he’s like “mmm i’m gonna write with explicit detail this minor having sex! yeah that’s not odd.” and miss me with that “oh this book came out a long time ago it was a different time.” mf this book came out in fucking 93. you’re telling me racism and pedophilia weren’t a thing in 1993. sure i get the casual ableism (miss me with ur comments im disabled) because it’s still very normalised to this day!!! but you cannot convince me the n-word was needed here. or the 75 different scenes describing how promiscuous lux is. i don’t care.

the actual book was less interesting than paint drying. i thought we’d actually get an interesting story. but no. i read about the horny mc and his friends simping over these girls for 90% of the book, with celia’s suicide tackled decently at the beginning & the rest of the girl’s suicides feeling like an afterthought. you set up a book about how all the girls commit suicide, and have 4/5 of the suicides occur with less than 20% of the book left. are you kidding me. the rest of this book was senseless drivel covering the same exhausting song and dance, where we learn absolutely nothing about the lisbon girls beyond their superficial traits and how fucking horny their classmates are. for fucks sake i couldn’t give two shits about how they were “mesmerised” by the “enigmatic lisbon girls”. hey here’s some quick advice go fuck yourself.

pick a struggle ur book can’t be boring AND ableist, racist, and pedophilic. 
i am actually so angry at this book. i am so angry i don’t think i can properly explain how much i fucking hate this book.

what a waste of time. this book has as much depth as my minecraft fanfiction from grade 3. actually no i take that back my fanfiction was better than this. fuck you.