M.E. O’Brien’s Family Abolition: Capitalism and the Communizing of Care is a radical, incisive examination of the nuclear family as a site of capitalist social reproduction—and a call to imagine something better. O’Brien expertly threads together historical materialist analysis with visionary speculation, laying bare the ways family, capitalism, and state power intertwine to uphold systems of exploitation, coercion, and control. Her writing is both declarative and polemical, driven by a deep commitment to the liberation of all people.

One of the book’s most revelatory strengths lies in O’Brien’s definition of insurgent social reproduction: the transformation of household labor—those daily acts of care and survival—into the sustenance of militant protest. This reorientation challenges the reader to see “family” not as a static unit confined by blood and marriage, but as a dynamic practice: a group of people who “simply take part in this reproduction of social life.” Through this lens, the barricade becomes as much a site of family-making as the kitchen table. The Oaxaca Commune, which O’Brien references, is one such example that deeply resonated with me. It crystallized a truth I had long felt: that if we care enough about each other to help each other survive, we should be able to call ourselves family.

O’Brien expertly reveals how the nuclear family is not a natural or inevitable formation but a historically specific structure designed to socialize gender roles, impose heterosexual norms, and maintain male domination. The family, in its modern capitalist form, is the primary vehicle for reproducing able-bodied workers while isolating us from collective solidarity. It is a site of both care and coercion, a tension that O’Brien returns to again and again.

This analysis landed heavily for me, particularly as someone who often reflects on the ways we teach children to survive in a world that inflicts so much harm. We all have to be taught how to be people—how to exist in this world, how to advocate for and protect ourselves. We deserve safe, loving spaces to do that, spaces that encourage us to grow into our most authentic selves. But under capitalism, families are too often structured to produce obedience, heteronormativity, and compliance with exploitative systems.

The text also powerfully demonstrates how dedication to the nuclear family limits our capacity for collective solidarity. By making us wholly dependent on the private family unit for care, capitalism ensures that we remain vulnerable to abuse, isolation, and coercion. O’Brien asks us to consider: what would it mean to broaden our idea of family? To imagine care as communal, rather than privatized? What if children were raised not in isolation but with the support of many adults invested in their growth?

I was particularly moved by O’Brien’s insistence that whatever we build to replace the family must not replicate its harms. She urges us to abolish the border between child and adult, restoring autonomy to children as the independent humans they are. This call resonated deeply with me as someone who believes that disrupting cycles of harm begins with how we treat the most vulnerable among us.

O’Brien’s analysis also illuminated connections I had sensed but struggled to articulate—particularly the link between the nuclear family and private property. She demonstrates how capitalist states have historically restricted rights and resources to monogamous, heterosexual, married couples. These structures are not merely oppressive; they are intentional mechanisms to hoard wealth and social status.

Ultimately, what lingers most from Family Abolition is its hope. O’Brien dares us to envision a world where care is not transactional, where love is not confined by property or legality, where our capacities for tenderness and solidarity are truly free. Her insistence that “family abolition is a horizon of human freedom” felt like a breath of air after holding my breath for so long. It is an invitation—to rupture, to reimagine, and to build anew.

📖 Recommended For: Readers engaged with radical leftist thought, abolitionist feminism, and queer theory; those interested in the intersections of capitalism, family, and social reproduction; fans of Sophie Lewis and Dean Spade.

🔑 Key Themes: Family and Capitalism, Collective Care and Social Reproduction, Queer and Feminist Futures, Childhood Liberation and Autonomy, Abolitionist Politics.