~ 1.5 stars ~

What the hell was that.

Love Bites, the second book to the Argeneau series, somehow managed to be even weirder than its predecessor, and that’s a big feat. Let’s just say, whenever I read a vampire book in future, I’m going to be terrified there will be a dick biting while giving head scene. Yes that happened, yes she said she wanted to bite into his penis like a sausage, yes I’m now having nightmares.
So we follow vampire Etienne, who is a 300 year old bachelor. It’s so over the top it’s actually funny. When being attacked by a crazy fanatic named Pudge (yes.... the bad guys name is Pudge, can we not talk about it), Etienne is saved by coroner Rachel. When her saving him results in her death, Etienne turns her to save her life. Then Etienne and Rachel just bone for like 100 pages straight. And then they fall in love. Cause nothing says I love you like sucking blood from someone’s penis. Yeah this was weird. But I’m still going to keep reading this series because apparently I hate myself.