Sensationalism around this book on social media is a thing and needs to be addressed, but others have said it far more eloquently, so I'm just going to leave it there. 

My first read took weeks, but I couldnt out it down for this reread. I suppose Yanighara describes the experience best through one of her characters: "It took us several days to read, because although it was brief, it was also endless, and we had to keep putting the pages down and walking away from them, and then bracing each other - Ready? - and then sitting down and reading some more" (813).
 

I want to give this 4.75 for the extent of duress placed on the protagonist that seems almost gratuitous with one character (IMO), but even that additional character does not derail from what I take as the novel's primary thesis. Further to the point, the pacing is brilliant and clever, and the flow of narration poignantly depicts the way our memories seep in and out of present day. The shift in voice and/ or perspective takes a few chapters to get used to, but it reminds us (I think) of how the characters', and by the same token our, stories are woven together.
 

There is no denying this novel is heartbreaking and devastating. I read this when I was 22, and that was the extent I took from it (for reference, I was drawn to it as a new release, having just read Sam Selvon's The Lonely Londoners. Then, for the rest of my early twenties, I conflated the protagonists in both stories for literally no reason). 

But, returning to this at 27, yes I sobbed, but I had a marginally shifted experience. At the heart of it, to me now, is a chronicle of enduring love and patient sympathy, in the face of trauma and loss. 

"He doesn't want you to admire him; he wants you to see him as he is. He wants you to tell him that his life, as inconceivable as it is, is still a life" (639) 

"That doesnt mean they werent happy years, that it wasnt a happy life" (704) 

I am privileged to relate to this book no more at 27 than 22. But what I can take into my daily practice is this: "And so I try to be kind to everything I see, and in everything I see, I see him" (814)