As the wave of emotions finally hits me, I'm currently crying and tearing up whilst writing my thoughts for this book, so please excuse whatever blunder this review might have. I'm in a state of emotional mess and turmoil.

Now... where do I start.

There's something hopeful and entirely ethereal reading this novel. How does a plot so simple, with almost no concrete base can contain so much things packed in one book.

The social criticism, forbidden love, abandonment, parental duties, social outcasts, different ways in handling grief, sibling relationships, relationship with food, motherhood and fertility ; these are some things that has been subtly highlighted, yet it leaves a big impact. As much as the book has almost 'nothing', it'll leave you flipping through the pages, invested in the lives of these three souls that are intertwined with one another, creating a bubble of their own; but also reflecting so much on the realities to the real world. Each part captivates you in a way that leaves you very depressed but also hopeful . The emphasization of I'll Go On and the importance for each character, in how they would try to cope with each of their issues literally altered my brain chemistry. The author's work reminds me of Banana Yoshimoto's novels and writing but it stands on its own league, in which will leave an everlasting impression on you, and lets you carry the burden and hope that the author left in your hearts as well.

The story is told from three different POV's, namely Sora and Nana who are siblings, and Naghi, their childhood friend whose family played a huge role in Sora and Nana's upbringing. Each individuals struggling with their own resentment towards the world, the author explores the the complexity of human's relationships, the relationship of a parent and their children and handling grief in ways that is mundane and yet impactful.

Personal Ratings : 4.75🌟

Honestly, the more I think about this book, the more I cease to know how to put my thoughts into words. I'm honestly glad I read this book at a time where my brain was blank and was able to absorb the emotions that the author had tried to portray in the book. The nuance is beautiful and breathtaking; its sort of threading into a cloud heavy with water, threatening to fall and become a rain shower anytime. Its breathtaking but also heartbreaking, in ways that I can't seem to find words for it.

I would like to first give a round of applause for the Translator; Miss Emily! She did such a fantastic job with this book to a point that it had made me wanted to look through the original text as well. Hwang Jungeun Emphasised on Word Play and The Repetition of Certain Phrases in a sentence. For example, the way she breaks down the etymology of the characters names and their meanings, to their origins, in which somewhat relates to the story of them as a whole. The empasization of I'll Go On in here makes this a hopeful yet a sorrowful story. The beauty of the word play in which Miss Emily had managed to bring the nuance and "feel" of the story so well, it had made us go through the feelings of the characters in each chapter.

Whilst Motherhood and Fertility are one of the topics that had been highlighted, another main theme that the author had brought forward was on Abandonment and The Effects of Abandonment on Children . Human relationships are complex, and Hwang Jungeun had cleverly written the story in the ways it relates to the stories of Sora and Nana from when they were younger, to how they survived with Naghi's family as their saviour. I love that the relationship with food and its co-relation with certain memories was highlighted as well. Within the Asian households, there will always be a certain type of food that will be made every year as a routine, in which these traditions holds not only the meaning and bond of a family, it also represents the deep bond and culture that was engraved within food-making. Its something so wholesome and yet, not everyone will get to experience it.

The complex relationship of Motherhood and Mother-Daughter Relationship is one that somewhat reminded me of The Days of Abandonment by Elena Ferrante, only this time, we have the perspective of the children abandoned by their mother. Reading this made me wander how gray a human is and there is nothing black and white that can determine whether you're at fault or not. The act of abandoning your child is bad, but, the ways of coping with grief is not something that has been written in a manual. Hwang Jungeun wrote the character Aeja in a way that you'll come to both hate and love her. You'll hate her for being a bad mother, but you'll also emphatize with the pain that she's gone through. The way the author brought forward this topic will not only leave you breathless, it will also make you slightly unhinged.

Naghi's story is one that I felt just heartbroken for him. His own circumstances that leaves him void of this world, but yet, still can give love to the women in his life made me want to go in the book and give him a big hug. All the characters deserved a big hug and you can't seem to hate the characters, no matter how flawed they are. The imperfection in their character is what made the story alive and the author did a splendid job in relaying those emotions.

I feel that the more I talk about this book, the higher the chance I will take the joy of reading it from anyone looking through this review, so , my advice with this book, go with an open mind and read it at time where you need slightly need hope and you can take comfort in depressing stories. Hwang Jungeun stands to be in the league of her own. This book will leave a lingering feeling, imprinted in your heart and will stay forever ingrained inside you. It will leave you unhinged, fuelled with hope, break your heart but also provide warmth in it.

Bask in the story. It'll definitely be worth your while.

Biggest thank you to @definitelybooks for this copy. I am forever thankful.