"My bedroom is a sacred place now - There are children
at the foot of my bed
Last year when I wrote you my last letter
(the beginning of my future poetry)
I acknowledged who you were for the first time.
I didn’t call you by any other name
I let you know that I knew the true nature of your heart-
that it was evil
that it convinced me that darkness is real
that the devil is a real devil
and that monsters don’t always know they are monsters.
But projection is an interesting thing
after you burned the house down
you tried to convince me that i was the one holding the matches
You told me that I didn’t know what I had done
You said I don’t know who I am
But I do know who I am.
I love Rose Gardens
I buy violets every time someone leaves me
I love the great sequoias of Yosemite
and if you asked my sister to describe the first thing she
thinks of when she thinks of me
she would say
woodsmoke
I’m gentle
I’m funny
when I’m drunk
though I haven’t been drunk for 14 years
I go on trips to the beach with my friends who don’t know
that I’m crazy.
I can do that.
I can do anything-
even leave you
because my bedroom is a sacred place now
there are children at the foot of my bed
telling me stories about the friends they pretend to hate
that they will make up with tomorrow-
and there are fresh cut flowers that i grew myself
in vases on nightstands hand-carved by old pals from Big Sur
and the longer i stay here, the more i am sure
that the more i step into becoming a poet the less
i will fall into being with you
the more i step into my poetry the less i will fall into
being with you
the more i step into
my poetry the less i will
fall into being with you
the more i step into my poetry the less i will
fall into being
with you
the
more
i step into becoming a poet
the less i will fall into
bed
with
you."




"You can have a life beyond your wildest dreams
all you have to do is change everything…"