This book was frustrating to me -- while I recognize the personal anguish, it has some of the awkward-in-public growth of the newly out. (Hey, we've all been there.) I think Wizenberg is trying to walk a wobbly line between sharing personal narrative and speaking more broadly on part of a community -- but without really deeply owning that she is new to that community, whatever her personal orientation is/was/will be. For example, statements like, "The movement has fought for marriage and military service because a majority of gay Americans have wanted it to do so" -- how incredibly naive and misleading! I understand her longing for her personal experience and desires to fit within a broader group -- but surely it already does without any need to minimize the ways that many, many queer folks seek alternatives to monogamous partnership and family? I squirmed at the scorn she used for her not-quite-stone-butch ex regarding their sexual incompatibility -- y i k e s, what a way to treat the person who was your entrypoint to queer relationships! Don't yuck her yum, Molly, geez.

Wizenberg is a good writer, and I hope she continues to learn and grow into her identities, and to share that with us -- I look forward to the next, or maybe the next-next memoir.