This book tore me to shreds and then healed me along with the characters. Everything about this book was done so right. The horribly conflicting emotions, PTSD, character relationships, and journey of recovery. It all came together in the perfect way to explore such dark, sensitive themes. Samotin did not shy away from anything. It was explicit (not spicy because those scenes were intended to show something integral to the characters' psyche rather than intended to be read for pleasure), gruesome, disconcerting, and exactly what it needed to be. While this story is one of healing, it also unabashedly voices these horrific events and complicated emotions.

When I first started this book, it was nice to find a kinship in Dimitri, and meet his group. I was completely shocked when the book switched to Alexi’s (Dimitri’s insane abusive (kinda ex) husband) POV. The way Samotin wrote it though was so good. I never wanted him to win, but the added intrigue of his convoluted thoughts brought a whole new level to the themes being explored.

After reading, I really want to say “Where was this book a year ago?” but I don’t think I was ready to read it then. It was exactly everything I would search for in this type of story. Now that I was ready and have read it, I think this book found me at the exact right time. And, as the author mentions in the trigger warning at the beginning of the book, I hope it finds you at the right time as well.